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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


Male Pattern Stupidity

I haven’t decided if this is a phenomenon occurring only with horny submissive phone sex callers, horny phone sex callers in general, or just horny men period.  But it sure does try my patience.

Although it is the way I currently conduct my business, phone sex by the minute just isn’t a good idea. It is the nature of the beast(s). Kmart callers just don’t know how to conduct themselves properly within such a loosely structured framework and generally drive PSOs insane. They show up with their dicks in their hands looking for the blue light special and they want it NOW.   And they really piss me off.   Big time piss me off.

What I mean (a call on my Macho Sissy Line):

Hello. This is Angela.

Hello, Mistress, this is Matthew.

Hi, Matthew, have we spoken before?

No, Ma’am, we haven’t.

And how did you find me, Matthew? Over the phone or on the Internet?

On the Internet, Mistress.

And what would you like to discuss today? There is a list of suggestions there at Macho Sissy. Does anything appeal to you?


Yes.  The M***er F***er hung up on me.  And, guess what?  All of this took place in under one minute.  Which begs the question, Is this the time and effort he puts into other endeavors?  If so, his is not the company I would like to keep.  Nor would I hire him to do any work for me.  Nor would I want him teaching the children I plan on having some day.

There are a zillion ways a call can go.  I simply don’t do cookie cutter phone.  I treat each encounter (even with a repeat client) as a singular experience focused on his unique desires and our specific chemistry on that particular day.  It’s the only way I can do it.

The “list” I mentioned is more or less a catalyst of sorts, an attempt to get things burning, and varies in relation to what general path we might be exploring.  For my Macho Sissy line there is quite an assortment (which should have clued him into what to expect from a call with yours truly before ever picking up the phone):

  • petticoat discipline
  • erotic panty play
  • gender bending roleplay
  • tease & denial
  • bend-over baby dolly
  • caught & punished
  • peter breath twinkie
  • lipstick lesbian
  • emasculated cuckold
  • gerkin-jerkin jerk
  • hermaphro-dick-tion
  • castrated cream puff
  • me & her laughing at U
  • jock cock worship
  • painted up & pantified
  • dress for suck-cess
  • nipple & clitty torture
  • sex reassignment
  • whore-moan extraction
  • delayed ejaculation
  • public sex-hibition
  • forced faggotry
  • cock-tail waste-ress
  • transexual girl love
  • Looks to me like he could have had lotsa fun, if he’d just brought his brain and his manners to the table.  Dontcha think?

    So there you have it.  How Male Pattern Stupidity nearly –but not quite– ruined my day. Because I’m really not that thick-skinned and I do have feelings and they do get hurt.

    Rudeness, no matter what the circumstances, is never called for and speaks volumes about who you are and why I am happy you decided to leave quickly.

    But this story has a happy ending, because then the good guys showed up.  And I lived happily ever after.

    xo, Angela

    11 Responses to “Male Pattern Stupidity”

    1. yelomonkey Says:

      BIG KISS…Hope you feel better!

    2. Angela Says:

      awe…fanks, mr. monkey…u r definitely one of the good guys.

    3. hdb Says:

      It’s a shame that there are times when you are assaulted by the rude and low class. I hope you always remember that there are “Good Guys” and don’t write off all men as one-dimensional dick slingers.

      Love and Kisses.

    4. David Says:

      You’re beautiful when you’re angy. I wish I’d have known earlier. I would have called so you could have kicked my ass until you got it out of your system. Alas, another opportunity has passed me by. Seriously, don’t let ’em get you down. They have absolutely NO idea what they’re missing. And they don’t deserve you anyway.

    5. David Says:

      (Not that I’m implying that I DO deserve you, Oh great and powerful Mistress.)

    6. Tom Allen Says:

      Since I tend to look for the optimistic perspective, I generally attribute such behavior not to intentional rudeness, but to fear and nervousness.

      I’ve seen web forums in which pro-dommes have exactly this complaint. Someone new sets up an appointment, and they fail to show. Or they get partway through a phone interview, and get cut off. Some of them report that it often takes a new client several attempts before they actually make an appearance.

      Ah well. Their loss, eh what?

    7. Mr. Smith Says:

      It is so interesting to see your side of things. As a member of this male “subspecies” you so deliciously skewer (and I suspect rightfully so), I would hope that if I were ever to call you, I’d be one of “the good guys” as you so charmingly put it.

      I think I could muster some manners; I really do.

      And, perhpaps, as Tom pointed out, it is a matter of fear. Sometimes, Ms. St. Lawrence, I do believe that is why I’ve never given into temptation and called you.

      Do you bite, pray tell?

    8. puzzler565 Says:

      I think I found the solution to this problem long ago: I never hang up until Mistress tells me that I may.

      Love you when you’re mad, Angela! Maybe it just takes an expert to appreciate how wonderful you are. Let the amateurs go.

    9. Vanilla Savant Says:

      It all sounds like fun. Just for my education, Muse, may we start at the top of the list and work our way through, item by item? Somehow I think you’d enjoy that as much as I would!

    10. AvonBard Says:

      “Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.” I’ll never make that mistake again!

    11. Bill Turlock Says:

      My Dearest “Angela”, If I may be so bold…

      Forgive me mistress, for having the temerity to suggest an alternative explanation — by that time, he’d already got his money’s worth…

      I hasten to add—I don’t have that problem, myself!

      I Am, Your Humble Servant,

      Bill Turlock
      (too modest to call myself The Panty King)

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