Sometimes small penis size is really just a reaction to a bad idea. Sorry girls, but you all ain’t Angelo Jolie and Dickie knows it…..

1. Don’t worry Honey, with a cunt that large, I was planning to use my forehead instead anyway.

2. It does seem small compared to that gash of yours, is it true that the National Forest Service is going to declare it a national park soon?

3. What is that tattoo over your pussy, over 1,000,000 served?

4. It just looks small compared to your clitty, are you sure that isn’t just a cock in disguise? You ARE a girl aren’t you?

5. It was erect in my pants, but as soon as I got a whiff of the stench from your pussy it went into hiding. Two words for you: feminine hygiene. Don’t get it? One word: Douche.

6. Well in the bar my dick thought you looked like Jennifer Garner, but now I’ve got you home, you look like James Garner. No wonder it’s not up and at ‘em.

7. You know, my last girlfriend looked like a horse, but was as sweet as could be, so little Johnny her popped up to 7-8 inches and made her smile all night. Now you look sweet as can be, but have been acting like horse shit all night. So all you get is 3 inches. You keep this kind of crap up, all you’ll get is the back door!

8. Big things come in small packages, especially if you give them a little TLC. Tongue Licking Care! (5 inches later) See what I mean!

9. Why don’t we start on you and see what comes up on my end of things?

10. At least mine is real and can grow with a little work!

Note: The Peter Files Blog of Comedy is safe for work and families and NEVER carries material such as the above. However, faced with such man-hating tripe as the above, one must balance the comedic field with satire and rapier like wit. Even if it is not rapier like.