Well, I brought you a list last month. And it was rather funny. And–while not everybody’s cup of kink–it can be fun to play this game with a caller into some Fem Domme verbal brutality. Actually, I should merge these two lists, print them out and keep them handy for those kind of Phone Sex Mis-Adventures. But I won’t. Anyway, here’s Round Two:

1. Is it shriveled up because you’re cold?
2. Oh! It is hard?
3. Why are you pushing your pinkie finger through your fly?
4. You can stop fingering me and stick it in now!
5. Can I help you find the hole?
6. Quit teasing me and stick it in. OH! It is?
7. So how’s it feel to have a pacifier for a penis?
8. Are you a ventriloquist? Is that your finger puppet?
9. Did that little fellow just spit on me?
10. It looks just like my bunny rabbit’s thingy.
11. Did you cum already? I didn’t feel anything.
12. I hope your parents sued the doctor who circumcised you.
13. Well at least we know I won’t get pregnant. Impossible!
14. And I thought Penile Dysfunction was just a myth.
15. No wonder you never dated in high school.
16. If you had two of those, I could make earrings.
17. All shriveled up it looks more like a big clit.
18. Put it next to my finger. See!
19. Don’t cry! We’ll work around this “little” problem.
20. Giggle, giggle. Don’t even think about it. Giggle, giggle.
21. You’re just going to have to put on that strap-on.
22. Do you wear panties and use the women’s restroom?
23. How do you aim when you pee? You must dribble.
24. Are you a hermaphrodite?
25. I have some Miracle Grow out in the shed.
26. God really fucked you over, didn’t He?
27. It would be polite of you to bring a magnifying glass.
28. Maybe you should try using your fingers too.
29. What? You want me to give you oral?
30. How do I coax the head out of the foreskin?
31. Did your parents have any boys?
32. Those aren’t balls, they’re peanuts.
33. Deep throat? It won’t reach my throat!!!
34. Look! It all fits in my mouth at once!
35. I’ve smoked joints thicker and longer than this.
36. Gee, sometimes a cigar isn’t even a cigar!
37. That isn’t a pecker; it’s just a little pucker!
38. I can’t give you a hand job. How about a thumb job?
39. Why don’t we just cuddle and call it a night?
40. Have you ever talked with a Doctor about surgery?
41. Why don’t you have breasts to go with that clit?
42. Look!! You’ll see why the little bitch wears silk panties!
43. I know women with bigger clits than that!
44. It’s a small world after all…tra la la.
45. It’s so cute! It’s a Ken Doll Dick!
46. See what happens when you take steroids?
47. Does it chirp if I touch it?
48. I hope that’s not contagious.
49. Did you just tinkle on my leg? Don’t even tell me you came.
50. Um, could you just get out from between my legs and send in your brother?

(Can you hear me David and Metro? -wink wink)

(And thanks to Mr. B for sending this my way.)

xo, Angela

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 11th, 2007 at 2:05 pm and is filed under Funny Side Up, Rhetorically Yours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.