web hit counter

Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


Archive for November, 2007

Penis Punishment

Friday, November 30th, 2007

If your prick has been naughty, then I guess it deserves a good whipping.  I mean, after all, how else is it going to learn to behave?  It isn’t like you can send it to obedience school or make it write a hundred times "I will be a good prick" or send it to bed without any supper or make it stand it in the corner.

I found this lovely piece of naughty artwork at the website, Waldo which features a collection of stories and artist’s renderings which have been featured in BDSM magazines, including spanking, gay, enema and fantasy subject matter.  Right up my alley, dontcha think?

xo, Angela   

Lingerie on the Razor-Wire 5

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

Biff is back and you're not going to believe what she's up to now!  In what I believe is the funniest Razor-Wire installment yet, our erstwhile damsel has decided to bring in some extra cash by starting a secondary career in Phone Sex.  Ouch! 

A warm thanks to my generous and brilliant friend, Pervert Savant, who writes so deliciously well and with such humor.

Previously:   Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 

Lingerie on the Razor Wire

by Pervert Savant

The Chilling Story of a Young Transsexual’s Search for Love Amid the Mindless Brutality, Recidivist Squalor, and Unrelentingly Tasteless Tattoos of the Most Corrupt Prison  in Texas! 

Chapter V:  Premium Phone-Sex from the Princess Mistress 

Prison Guard Mary “Biff” McGurk took a long swallow from her bottle of Tecate and glumly eyed the list of telephone numbers illuminated in a line on her computer’s messaging screen. 

Shit!” Biff muttered morosely.  “Looks like another slow night!” 

Eager to supplement her meager income as a functionary at West Texas Correctional, Biff had recently taken on a second job as a Phone Sex Worker. Her decision had been prompted by a colorful Internet ad promising easy money, the ability to work from home, and a chance to be one’s own boss.  Entranced by the prospects, Biff had signed an e-mail contract that promised an ability to start work immediately. However, despite high initial expectations, Biff’s financial returns from her new telephonic métier had, to date, proven somewhat disappointing. 

Biff’s pudgy fingers poked clumsily at her computer’s keyboard.  After a moment, a screen flashed, instantly revealing the litany of assumed names that constituted her recent phone clientele. 

BibOverallFetish called you at 6:15 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

SonicLunch called you at 8:02 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

SasquatchAss called you at 9:23 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

LemueltheMoonPie called you at 9:47 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

Fartlover called you at 10:36 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

BibOverallFetish called you at 11:07 PM on 11/17/07 (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER)

BibOverallFetish called you at 11:10 PM (YOU HAVE BLOCKED THIS CALLER) 

Biff scrutinized her call list dismissively.  “Usual bunch of dipshits wanting refunds,” she mused knowingly while reaching for an unfiltered Camel.  “Well, fuck ‘em!  I don’t give refunds!” 

Biff took a deep drag from her cigarette and moved her cursor to her website’s “Customer Feedback” area.

  DATE        CALLER            RATING          COMMENT

11/01/07   NekidLunch            *       Sounded like she was gargling. 
11/03/07   StubbieSubby         *       Hung up on me.
11/14/07   69erinOhio              *       Put me on hold!    
11/16/07   Studman                  *      Caution, I think she's a guy.
11/16/07   SmegmaBoy           **     Not really responsive to my fantasy.

Mildly irritated, Biff punched some more keys and moved to her New Caller List to see: 

PantyFemme called you at 12:07 AM on 11/19/07 (CUSTOMER WANTS A CALL-BACK!) 

“Hey!” Biff chortled.  “I got me a new one!”

Biff took another sip from her beer and flipped open the index page of her “Sweet Texas Honey New Operator’s Manual” searching eagerly for its entry for “Panty Fetishists.” 

“Sweet Texas Honey” was the name of the phone sex service Biff had recently joined.  Its website featured pictures of approximately 15 negligee-clad women, all with names like “The Duchess Lacey,” “Little Empress Puddin- Pie,” and “Queen-Bee Brittany,” each one purporting to have some sort of taboo sexual specialty. 

The site’s owner–a husky-voiced, 57-year old woman named Maisie O’Toole–had determined that her courtesans all had to be Princesses, Duchesses, or Queens–in addition to being “barely legal”, being “an experienced life-style mistress” and being possessed of “no taboos”.  These qualities were a guaranteed way – to Maisie’s way of thinking—of  attracting new callers. 

Of course, Biff had a picture posted at Sweet Texas Honey too.  And of course, it wasn’t really her own photo.  Biff’s ad featured a photograph of a svelte 19-year old brunette in a black leather corset bearing the nom-de-plume: “Her Exalted Highness Princess Mistress Biffie”. The photo had cost Biff $50.00 and had been purchased from a website catering to would-be PSOs. 

Despite her ersatz picture, Biff had chosen her business name herself – a small accommodation that Maisie permitted her girls, so long as the selected name fell within the broad parameters of Maisie’s tested keys to telephonic success. Under her elected sobriquet Biff had opted to insert her designated area of expertise — “Whiplash Cash Vixen and No-Limits Life-Style Mistress!” 

As an added come-on, Biff’s site featured–like those of the other geishas who toiled for Maisie –a brief statement detailing her personal likes and dislikes.  Biff had painstakingly written her statement after carefully reviewing those posted on the web pages of her erstwhile rivals.  After giving the matter some thought, Biff had penned the following come-on to her hoped-for future customers: 


Thus prepared, Biff then began her work as an odalisque for “Sweet Texas Honey.”  After a spate of initial interest, her calls, inexplicably, had begun tailing off.  Thus, the fact that a “New Caller” was now awaiting her long-delayed call-back served to rekindle some of Biff’s original enthusiasm. 

After cursorily perusing the Manual’s recommendations for the treatment of panty fetishists, Biff opened a bag of barbecued Fritos and a fresh bottle of Tecate and steeled herself for the upcoming task.  Pensively concentrating on Maisie’s suggestions, Biff dialed the number and, after a moment’s pause, was connected to her caller: 

“Hello?” the unknown caller drawled. 

Is this Panty Ass? Er…wait a minute…I mean, Panty Femme?” Biff intoned sweetly. 

“Er…Yeah.  It’s me.  Is this Sweet Texas Honey?” 

“It shore as hell is!”  Biff responded, trying to establish the quick rapport that Maisie had stressed was so important with new callers. 

“Well, howdy-do there, cupcake!  My real name’s, well, it’s Lester.” 

“Well this here’s Her Exalted Highness Princess Mistress Biffie.  Y’all lookin’ fer some fun, huh?”  Biff took a swig from her new Tecate and rummaged in her bag for a Frito. 

"You betcha, sweetcheeks!” the caller responded.  “I got me this little thing fer panties.  Do you specialize in panty-type calls?” 

“Shit yes I do,” Biff lied, languidly chewing her Frito.  “I’ll bet yew’d like to know what kinda panties I’m wearing right now, wouldn’t ya?  Well, sir I’ll tell ya.  They’re these brand new cotton ones I got in my favorite color – lime green.  I also got me a pair with all these leopardy dots on ‘em that I like too.  ‘Course they’re in the wash right now.  I usually wear them panties for my special occasions.  Most of the time though I wear Fruit-of-the-Loom boxer shorts.  Pretty sexy, those Fruit-of-the-Looms—all loose like.  I like ‘em cuz they sorta let the air in and keep everything all cool.  I like the name too. Fruit-of-the-Loom.  Fruit-of-the-Loom’s got a real nice ring to it.  Kinda wholesome.  Y’know, I’m a life-style mistress and I have my stable of subbies hand wash my Fruit-of-the-Looms.  Pretty sexy, huh?" 

“Well, that’s nice.  But what I was thinkin’ about was a pair of them sexy little thongs.  You know, the sorta satiny kind and in a real hot color…you know…like Fire-Engine Red.” 

“Well goddamit, you little dipshit…why didn’t you say so….Hey, now that I’m lookin’ at ‘em, why that’s exactly what I got on now.  Fire-Engine Red thongs.  I usually wear Fire Engine Red thongs under my regular clothes when I’m working on my job.  They’re real slick. Ya sit down wearing those things and ya feel like yer gonna slide right off a chair.  One thing about them though, you gotta be careful with ‘em after you take a shit.  Skid marks.  It’s tough to get skid marks offa satin. But yeah, that’s what I got on now.  Pretty too. Wish you could see ‘em on me.  But you can’t, I guess.  Cuz yore there and I’m here."

Biff paused to take another swallow of beer, listening for “feedback” from the caller.  “Feedback” was important.  Maisie had mentioned that in the Manual. 

“Well, look cupcake.  I was kinda wonderin’ how’d it be if I put on a pair of them thongs with you there…you know…sorta guidin’ me…tellin’ me how hot it makes you and all…y’know?” 

Biff burped and reached for another Frito. 

‘Oh, yeah, that’d make me hot all right – real hot.  Catchin’ you wearing my thong thingies.  Why, if I caught you in ‘em, I’d prolly get my whip and beat yore stupid ass real good.  Shit.  You’d look like such a dumb ass wearin’ my thongs.

What are you anyway?   Some kinda pervert?  Jeez-o-pete, I’d probly have you arrested and haul yore ass down to the police station.  What’s yore name again?  Lester?  Well, Lester, you strike me as one sick perp. I’d haul yore ass down to the station and turn ya over to the proper law enforcement authorities.  That’s my reaction.  I’d be hot all right. I’d press charges!  That answer yore question? 

“No wait.  See, sugar, you don’t understand…What I meant was, you just get me in them panties and…” 

“Hey, Lester…Listen here. Somethin’ tells me we ain’t getting’ off on the right foot.  Look, I know what you like.  I’m an experienced life-style mistress, ain’t I?  Just like my ad says.  And I orter know what’s best fer you, shouldn’t I?  I mean, who’s the goddam expert here? So you just hush-up a minute and let me describe myself ta ya.  See, I’m barely legal.  Eighteen is the legal age and I’m nineteen.  My measurements are 38-24-36.  That get you all hot?  And don’t call me ‘sugar’!  Call me by my name – Her Exalted Highness Princess Mistress Biffie.  Do I make myself clear?

“Er, yes Her Exalted Highness Princess Mistress Biffie.  Um…but what I was trying to say was that I….” 

“Look, toad-brain.  One thing you should keep in mind is that the Princess Mistress doesn’t like to be interrupted.  You been interrruptin’ me right and left.  Do you know who it is yore talkin’ to? 

“Well, I was just tryin’ to say…” 

“I don’t give two shits about what you were tryin’ ta say, you little turdlet.  I know what you like.  You oughta be arrested for it too….Wait a minute.  I’ll deal with you in a minute.  Right now I gotta go take a leak…And you better be here when I come back.” 

“But, Princess Mistress Biffie!  This call is costing me $14.95 a minute!  Couldn’t you just tell me how pretty I’d look in that red thong…you know…and sorta touch ‘em after I got into ‘em and all? Real quick like. And then…” 

“Look, bozo, who’s the Princess Mistress here?  You or me? 

“Well, you are, of course, Princess Mistress, but…" 

“That’s right.  How’d you like it if I put a little horney toad in them panties down there with your little Fredrick?  Them toads got spines.  That could cause you problems…” 

“No…I wouldn’t want that…But I was thinkin’ of somethin’ more….well…My fantasy’s more sensual.” 

“Ha!  You want me ta rub yore dick through yore panties and tell ya yer all pretty, heh?” 

“Well, yes…I mean…something like that…” 

“Fat chance of that happening, dog-boy.  But I will do a fantasy session where I turn you into my little girl.  How’s that sound?  And I’m gonna name you Trollop.  I kinda like that name.  But first I have ta hypnotize you. 

Relax….Relax…Listen to my voice.  Start counting backwards backwards.  Slowly from 500.  Come on now:  499, 498….  You’re getting sleepy.  Did I tell you that I’m also a trained hypnotherapist?   Well I am! 497…count!  I can’t hear you counting.  Are you counting?  I can’t do no fantasy without cooperation!  Get to it!  I can’t hear you! 


“That’s better.  Now, when you get down ta zero you will be fast asleep and in my power…Keep counting!” 

“495…Er…but Princess Mistress… that’s going to cost me a fortune!” 

“Keep counting!  You are growing more and more feminine as you count.  495…  More and more in Her Exalted Princess Mistress’ power.  Now keep counting, and when I come back here I want to hear you still counting…slowly…backward.  Count!” 

“Please, Princess Mistress…can’t we start at 50?  Princess?  Are you still there?  I can’t hear you.  OK…OK…494…493…getting sleepy…492…” 

“That guy’s voice sure sounds familiar,” Biff mused as she idly washed her hands after relieving herself.  “I could swear I’ve heard it before.  Fuck, I been talkin’ to so many of these perverts lately I can hardly wipe my ass right anymore.” 

Returning to the phone, Biff heard the caller continuing his countdown to erotic nirvana. 


“Goddamit!  Yore cheatin’ you little asswipe,” Biff resumed, immediately taking charge.  Maisie’s Manual stressed the importance of taking charge of submissives. 

“Er no…look…I can’t be countin’ that long.  My credit card’s gonna be maxed out!” 

“Okay…okay!  Look, while I was away I got me this strap-on.  You know what that’s for, right?  Bend over you little sissy.  OK, now hold still ‘cause I’m a-comin’ right in there!” 

“Wait a minute…I mean…can’t you be a little more sensual?” 

“You want sensual?  Hmm.  OK, take yer fingers and start a-pinchin’ yer titties!  Ain’t that sweet?  Ya got ‘em all hard fer me?  OK, now hold still cause I’m a-comin’ right in there!” 

“Look, sweetie, this ain’t workin’ for me; I’m sorry.  Ain’t all yer fault, I guess.  OK, I gotta hang up.  This goddam call’s gonna cost me a fortune.” 

“All right then, hang up.  But remember ta leave me 5 stars, OK?  And a tribute.  Mistress Biffie loves tributes!  Hell, maybe next time I’ll give ya a free minute.  OK?” 



Dylan…not Bob

Saturday, November 24th, 2007

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

by Dylan Thomas 

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


This poem really hit me in the gut the first time I read it.  It still does.  I think because I lost my father when I was still in high school.  Somewhere in my myriad nooks and shelves and piles of books I have a copy of the original poem as Dylan Thomas wrote it, in his handwriting.  Someday I will find it again.  I might even matte and frame it.  Wouldn't that be lovely? 

The official Dylan Thomas Website

Dylan Thomas at wikipedia

Under Milk Wood 

xo, Angela 

Gobble Gobble

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu 

So here comes Thanksgiving.  While I am quite capable of putting together a big feast, I will be having dinner with my mother tomorrow.  What many callers and readers don't know is that my mother was disabled by a devastating stroke at a very young age.  One day she was healthy, the next day her whole world–and that of her children–changed in a blink of the eye.  

I could grieve the loss of the mother who always bought the biggest turkey in the store, who sometimes tried to trick me into eating oysters by mixing them into the stuffing, who enlisted the help of my sister and me to make pumpkin pie from scratch and who always went beyond the call of duty to make–not just Thanksgiving–but every holiday something we would hold to our hearts and always remember.  

But I don't.  According to the doctors, that my mother is even alive is a miracle.  She might be in a wheelchair and need assistance with her daily routines, but her mind and heart are whole.  I am filled with gratitude for the memories I do have and for the opportunity to give back to her when she needs me most.  So I'm a pretty lucky girl, when it's all said and done.

So have a good one…and please don't spend the day alone.  Find someone, even if it's a bum on the street and you have to buy him his meal.  It just might end up being the best Thanksgiving you ever had.

Thanksgiving Riddles 

  1. Why did the Turkey cross the road?  (It was the chicken's day off.)
  2. Why did the Pilgrim cross the road?  (He was chasing the turkey.)
  3. Why did the Indian wear so many feathers?  (To keep his wigwam.)
  4. Is turkey soup good for your health?  (Not if you're a turkey.)
  5. Why were the cranberries red?  (They saw the turkey dressing.)

Ten Things that Sound Dirty on Thanksgiving

  1. Just reach in and grab the giblets.
  2. Whew!  That's one terrific spread!
  3. And he forces his way into the end zone.
  4. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
  5. Talk about huge breasts!
  6. It's broken.  Whenever I push the tip, nothing squirts out.
  7. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
  8. Tying the legs together will keep her moist.
  9. She's 5000 lbs fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.
  10. Don't play with your meat.

Turkey Shopping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Cannibal Thanksgiving

Two cannibals are eating Thanksgiving dinner.  One turns to the other and says, "You know, I really can't stand my mother-in-law.

His dinner partner answers, "Then try the potato salad."

Last but not Least

CLICK HERE for your card.

xo, Angela


The Land of MILF and mOnEy

Monday, November 19th, 2007

Believe it or not, many women aspire to try the Phone Sex thing. I know because I get tons of email asking for guidance, suggestions and/or linkage. It is impossible to answer everybody. I try when I can, but usually I'm just too busy doing way too much to get to them all. So I thought I'd take some time to address some of these issues today.  

PLEASE NOTE:  These are only my opinions, but they are based on my personal experience and ethics. Hopefully my callers, my readers, fellow PSOs and aspiring PSOs will find it at least interesting, perhaps enlightening and maybe even instructive.

Yes, it's easy to get going. Just pop sex jobs or phone sex jobs or phone sex into your search engine and you are on your way. Many phone sex sites have an application page readily handy. I am not going to go through all of the possibilities that are available to the beginner. Doxy, of the Phone Slut Diary, provides excellent information for both callers and providers regarding your choices and what to expect.

Like Doxy, I am an independent, working for myself. This is my business which, unlike Doxy, I operate through the NiteFlirt platform. Yes, my business is very successful and I'm able to support myself quite comfortably. That said, if you are new to the industry, I highly recommend working for a service before making the leap to business owner.

Why? Because good phone sex is about more than moaning and groaning and bragging about how hot you are. If you work for a company–maybe even two or three–before spreading your entrepreneurial wings, you will get the experience you need to create a phone sex business that can stand up to the competition. And believe me, there is a lot of competition.

Plus there are many different types of phone sex. Working for a service, particularly one which takes any request (shemale, MILF, incest, mistress, cross-dressing, submissive, bestiality, hermaphrodite, golden showers, etc.), is the best way to hone your craft. You will get invaluable lessons in human relations and sexuality, and even marketing and customer service. You will also learn what phone sex niche best suits your personality and ability.

And working for a number of services will give you exposure to various business paradigms.  Then when you start shifting from worker bee to queen bee, you will have an very good idea as to how you want to run your business.

In the meantime, while you are in the learning stages and even when you're "in the biz," the internet can be your best friend. The information you can garner is invaluable, bountiful and free. Spend your time wisely by checking out the competition, noting what they charge, what they offer, and what makes them stand out. Research fetish terms and types of kink. Read the plethora of free erotic stories that are available everywhere and anywhere.

And remember that even when you are working for a company, you are still in the driver's seat. It is up to you to provide something of value and build up your own customer base. As I kinda-sorta said earlier, everybody and their mother wants to be a Phone Sex Superstar these days. Which means the caller has innumerable choices. How can you provide an experience which makes him remember you and want to call again?

Personally, I think it's imperative to value and respect the caller and his particular brand of kink. It's all about you and your professional integrity. Never judge a man by his fantasy. While you might not be able to fulfill a certain request due to TOS (terms of service) issues, lack of knowledge, understanding and/or ability, that doesn't mean that the caller is a degenerate.

Even when you are new and just testing the waters (very scary…I still remember every moment of the first call I ever took), your ability to treat the caller like a valued customer will go a long way in making up for lack of experience. It's a very easy concept: treat the caller the way you like to be treated when you are doing business with someone. And quite frankly, if you can't or refuse to do that, he will most likely move on to find someone who can. Repeat business is what will build your client base.

I often get age play or bestiality requests. The TOS under which I operate do not permit this type of call. I don't agree with that policy, but I have to follow it. But I don't automatically assume the caller is a perverted monster. From experience, I know that 99 percent of these guys are harmless and living very normal–and sometimes even stellar–everyday lives. And so I tell them that–with much regret on my part and no disrespect to them–I cannot fulfill their particular request. Most of the time, if you are nice, the caller will be nice.

A while back, a regular caller told me that the reason he kept calling back was that he was tired of rude "FemDoms" who didn't even listen to what he wanted, just going off on their own tangents. Which highlights two things worth mentioning here.

  1. Specializing in FemDom, BDSM or even Erotic Humiliation does not justify a lack of manners on the part of the provider. Rudeness is not domination, it is crudeness. And actually reflects a lack of superiority, sophistication and talent.
  2. Listening well is the ultimate secret weapon if you want to be a successful PSO. There is a Chinese proverb which goes like this: To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. Don't underestimate the importance of listening. Because if you do, there is no possible way to attain success. It's the caller's fantasy, not yours. If you insist on it being about you, you will end up with a phone that never rings.

A topic hotly debated in PSO forums and communities is the matter of pricing. Of course, if you are working for a service, they set the price. The company I got started with charged $75/half hour, with that being the minimum. Our customer base was comprised of smart and successful men. I got spoiled by the best, and now market to attract those callers. I like them a lot. And they seem to like me.

But when I first went out on my own, I couldn't remain competitive in my environment at the price I thought I was worth. I had to work my way up, so to speak. The buyer wants to know you're "worth it." And can you blame him? Before you set your price, it is a good idea to look at other providers offering similar services. And if you have no history of doing business to offer up as proof of your expertise, then set your prices a bit lower than those girls. Give the caller a reason to try out the new girl on the block. As you gain professional recognition and a following, you can then begin to raise your prices.

Lastly, a word about wish lists and tips. While most girls–many of my good friends, in fact–these days have wish lists, I opt not to. Why? Because, quite honestly, I want to be valued and paid well for what I do. In other words, SHOW ME THE MONEY. My job is to get the caller off and do it with (hopefully) a whole bunch of panache. Pay me well for my talent, thank you very much. And I don't want the caller to feel obligated or bamboozled by a not-so-subtle hint to buy me something.

Tips are okay, if they come in on their own. Again, I don't expect tips (AKA tributes), nor do I ask for them. Often guys surprise me, which just tickles me pink. This is all rather new, this "gimme, gimme, gimme" attitude on the part of phone sex providers. Unfortunately, I think many girls get into the industry with no thought about providing a quality and professional service. Instead their focus is how much they can get while basically doing nothing to earn or deserve it. Anyway, it's your call. Just think seriously about the ramifications to you and your business.

So, did you learn something? Or did I piss you off?

With Much Affection, Angela