Comments on: Faux FemDom Phone http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/ Another day at the office with Angela St. Lawrence, PhoneFemFatale Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:02:25 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Trin http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-20508 Trin Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:48:05 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-20508 (addendum: I don't quite consider myself a "femdom" any more, really; I'm too butch for that. But that is what I found when I got started, and hearing some men actually SAY that they didn't even like the idea of penetrating their partners because it would mess up the power dynamics was awesome to me, because it meant I might not have to explain that I DO have to be extremely close to someone and comfortable with them to do, well, what DOES munge with the power dynamics a bit to me, for very complicated reasons including physical disability and past trauma.) (addendum: I don’t quite consider myself a “femdom” any more, really; I’m too butch for that. But that is what I found when I got started, and hearing some men actually SAY that they didn’t even like the idea of penetrating their partners because it would mess up the power dynamics was awesome to me, because it meant I might not have to explain that I DO have to be extremely close to someone and comfortable with them to do, well, what DOES munge with the power dynamics a bit to me, for very complicated reasons including physical disability and past trauma.)

]]> By: Trin http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-20507 Trin Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:43:41 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-20507 Y'know, the one thing I really don't like about Bitchy is that, well, I DO think femdom is great for people like me, who are tired as HELL of the idea that vaginal penetration is all sex ever is. It's honestly really refreshing to be in a sexual subculture where that's downplayed. I get so tired of the idea that someone who doesn't want PIV all the time is de-sexed. I totally get that Bitchy loves PIV and that it's really annoying to be around men for whom being denied PIV, or being pegged instead, or juggling gees, or whatEVER is their kink and so they see her as less dominant. But I just... I get really tired of the whole "Femdom is de-sexing women because PIV is downplayed." I love not being pressured to have what society considers the most "real" of sex all the time. I love people who consider my cock not a silly game or the latest fad or something to read about in Dan fucking Savage columns. I guess I just get really tired of reading about how my actual sexuality is something plastic, fake, and "sold to men." Yeah, is pegging sold to men? Sure. But universalizations like that just annoy me. What happened to the dominant person being in control, rather than the dominant person resisting images of dominance? I'd much rather top and come than top and defy norms. (And honestly I don't think either getting fucked OR not getting fucked defies norms. The first is a norm of heteronormativity, and the second a norm of SOME of femdom but not even all.) Y’know, the one thing I really don’t like about Bitchy is that, well, I DO think femdom is great for people like me, who are tired as HELL of the idea that vaginal penetration is all sex ever is. It’s honestly really refreshing to be in a sexual subculture where that’s downplayed. I get so tired of the idea that someone who doesn’t want PIV all the time is de-sexed. I totally get that Bitchy loves PIV and that it’s really annoying to be around men for whom being denied PIV, or being pegged instead, or juggling gees, or whatEVER is their kink and so they see her as less dominant. But I just… I get really tired of the whole “Femdom is de-sexing women because PIV is downplayed.” I love not being pressured to have what society considers the most “real” of sex all the time. I love people who consider my cock not a silly game or the latest fad or something to read about in Dan fucking Savage columns.

I guess I just get really tired of reading about how my actual sexuality is something plastic, fake, and “sold to men.” Yeah, is pegging sold to men? Sure. But universalizations like that just annoy me. What happened to the dominant person being in control, rather than the dominant person resisting images of dominance? I’d much rather top and come than top and defy norms. (And honestly I don’t think either getting fucked OR not getting fucked defies norms. The first is a norm of heteronormativity, and the second a norm of SOME of femdom but not even all.)

]]> By: Mr. Smith http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13591 Mr. Smith Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:08:35 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13591 My lips are sealed. My lips are sealed.

]]> By: Angela http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13577 Angela Sun, 04 Nov 2007 20:09:32 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13577 hot java: always a pleasure to see you and also to know you appreciate me. Metro Sissy: You've come a long way, baby. You're fine just the way you are. Remember, I know all the parts of you. And despite your adamant agnostic stand, I see God's fingerprints all over you. HDB: You are so cute and so cuddly...but sooo dirty! Thanks for being a friend of Zen. Lyndee: I'll always treasure you as a true friend amid all the muck. Thanks for always believing in me and championing me. Mr. Smith: So tell me...have we talked? Come on, give it up. Porno Person: But I know a certain someone who can and does stomach it. Quite often, in fact. hot java: always a pleasure to see you and also to know you appreciate me.

Metro Sissy: You’ve come a long way, baby. You’re fine just the way you are. Remember, I know all the parts of you. And despite your adamant agnostic stand, I see God’s fingerprints all over you.

HDB: You are so cute and so cuddly…but sooo dirty! Thanks for being a friend of Zen.

Lyndee: I’ll always treasure you as a true friend amid all the muck. Thanks for always believing in me and championing me.

Mr. Smith: So tell me…have we talked? Come on, give it up.

Porno Person: But I know a certain someone who can and does stomach it. Quite often, in fact.

]]> By: Porno Person http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13571 Porno Person Sun, 04 Nov 2007 16:06:03 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13571 Great entry, Angela. I doubt that many of the men that enjoy phone domination would stomach the same thing in real life. But, then, why should they? Your thoughts on fantasy versus reality are always appreciated. Great entry, Angela. I doubt that many of the men that enjoy phone domination would stomach the same thing in real life. But, then, why should they? Your thoughts on fantasy versus reality are always appreciated.

]]> By: Mr. Smith http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13568 Mr. Smith Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:35:25 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13568 Er...what everybody else said. The politics, the dynamics, the reality of all this stuff just fascinates me. BDSM and Phone Sex and all of it, well I guess I never thought of any of it deeply until I showed up here. I'm dating myself here, but one thing which causes me to stop and ponder, is the true liberation--professionally and sexually--which has taken place. You girls are living it. You are the proof. You are a new type of woman. I am awed. And damn happy to see it. Er…what everybody else said. The politics, the dynamics, the reality of all this stuff just fascinates me.

BDSM and Phone Sex and all of it, well I guess I never thought of any of it deeply until I showed up here. I’m dating myself here, but one thing which causes me to stop and ponder, is the true liberation–professionally and sexually–which has taken place. You girls are living it. You are the proof. You are a new type of woman.

I am awed. And damn happy to see it.

]]> By: Lyndee http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13564 Lyndee Sun, 04 Nov 2007 06:52:14 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13564 WOW... how does one follow up an entry like this? Simply stated, WOW! Thanks, for yet another "kick ass" piece!! xoxo WOW… how does one follow up an entry like this? Simply stated, WOW!

Thanks, for yet another “kick ass” piece!!

xoxo

]]> By: HDB http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13561 HDB Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:42:53 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13561 This was quite a fine entry, Angela. I must say though, in my humble opinion, that your choice of excerpts probably aren't really so random. I think that these quotes from Bitchy, at some level, resonate with you, and so you are sharing them with us here. But hey, wadda I know?! As always, you offer fun, fantasy, and wisdom. Thanks for sharing Bitchy with us. This was quite a fine entry, Angela.

I must say though, in my humble opinion, that your choice of excerpts probably aren’t really so random. I think that these quotes from Bitchy, at some level, resonate with you, and so you are sharing them with us here. But hey, wadda I know?!

As always, you offer fun, fantasy, and wisdom. Thanks for sharing Bitchy with us.

]]> By: Metro Sissy http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13556 Metro Sissy Sat, 03 Nov 2007 23:18:38 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13556 Miss Bitchy doesn't like sissies and feminization, so she probably wouldn't like me. But like hot java said, the lines between fantasy have blurred and really screwed up a lot of people. Thank the Interenet Gods for people like you and Bitchy. Boys, as you've taught me, can be very stupid when horny. Count me among the stupid. But I'm learning. Miss Bitchy doesn’t like sissies and feminization, so she probably wouldn’t like me. But like hot java said, the lines between fantasy have blurred and really screwed up a lot of people.

Thank the Interenet Gods for people like you and Bitchy. Boys, as you’ve taught me, can be very stupid when horny. Count me among the stupid. But I’m learning.

]]> By: hot java http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13555 hot java Sat, 03 Nov 2007 22:54:24 +0000 http://www.zenfetish.com/2007/11/02/faux-femdom-phone/#comment-13555 I feel like I am an outsider intruding on shop talk, but Angela's blog is so compelling because of its real and provocative nature....she always surprises me. The excerpt from your chapter is so dead on. I think that the vast erotic exposure available on the internet has lead some guys down a very sad pathway. Reality seems to be getting tougher and fantasy more easily achieved, which has taken quite a few prisoners. Keep up the great blog,Angela. I feel like I am an outsider intruding on shop talk, but Angela’s blog is so compelling because of its real and provocative nature….she always surprises me. The excerpt from your chapter is so dead on. I think that the vast erotic exposure available on the internet has lead some guys down a very sad pathway. Reality seems to be getting tougher and fantasy more easily achieved, which has taken quite a few prisoners. Keep up the great blog,Angela.

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