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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...

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Archive for November, 2007

Adult Sex Quiz

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

ADULT SEX QUIZ


Q.) What doesn’t belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What’s the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What does a Rubik cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What’s the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

***Again, I bring you the content of my sister, Bethany’s inter0ffice email.  She forwards me a lot of this stuff.  And–aren’t you lucky–I pass it on to you.  At my end, I see a list of email addresses to which she (and others before her) have forwarded the original.  And let me tell you, ladies and gents,  a large majority of the receivers are female.

Bethany is very high up on the corporate ladder, verily a  mover and shaker, mixing it up with power brokers day in, day out.  My point is that if you’re wondering if sophisticated ladies in suits and heels can get raunchy with the best of them…

Well, hell yes, we can!

xo, Angela 

eBay for Panty Boys

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

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If you’re a guy who likes the feel of Satin and Lace and all things girly, check out the Jolie Boutique, an eBay store offering the above in 2x, along with many other nice girly items. Apparently they understand your kink:

WE SUPPLY LINGERIE FOR WOMEN AND MEN OF ALL SIZES FROM SMALL TO PLUS SIZES. WE SPECIALIZE IN SATIN PANTIES.

Nice, huh?

xo, Angela

Cock Sucking for Boys

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

I think all of you would agree that cock sucking is a good thing.

It’s just that you would agree for different reasons and would imagine quite different scenarios. A healthy smattering of my readers, and even some callers, just want to have a beautiful female’s lipsticked mouth milking their dicks.

But most of the men I talk with over the kink-O-phone want to be forced to gulp down one big motherfucker of man meat. They want to be throat fucked and gagged with the sometimes white, sometimes black, but always monstrously huge cock.

Now this is not for the feint of heart, because these super cocks hardly even exist outside of fantasy. And if they do, I certainly don’t want one anywhere near me. Ouch, already! But if you’re a guy in the mood to go fag (and I say that in the nicest way) the pecker you’re gonna have for lunch is most likely going to have to be imported from The Twilight Zone.

But, hey, we Americans like imported foods. And bigger is better…and all that jazz. So I say, have at it. I can describe it for you in living color–every twist, vein and curve. I might give it a large head, so big that the pee slit is pulled slightly apart and pre-cum is bubbling out and oozing down the backside, catching here and there between the zig-zag of its throbbing veins. Or it might be uncircumcised and you’ll have to pull back on the thick foreskin to work your tongue in under the rim.

I can even make you smell it inside a pair of blue jeans, until you beg like a bitch to have at it. I can make it so big that you have to use both of your hands just to pump it. With balloon balls (assorted colors) to match.

And then there’s the payoff: A hot load of jizz for the cock sucker. How do you want it served? But wait! Before I let you get your greedy little mouth filled, I can shove your face up close and personal to see the cum actually moving around inside as those balls fill up. Let’s see if I can make you squirm and drool and pant for what’s in there. Will you bark like a dog? Beg like a wimp? Whine like a sissy?

And will I make you say things before I let you chow down? Maybe…I’m your cock socket, Mr. Man. Or… Please pump my fag hole full of cock, Sir. Perhaps I’ll make you open wide and hold the corners of your mouth open with your index fingers, saying…Pump and dump into my fag- mouth, whore-hole. Or…I’m a cock bitch, fuck my cunt mouth. Oh the possibilities!

But we do eventually get to the bonne bouche, don’t we? Will the cum be thick and stringy? Maybe it’s slightly translucent with chunky sperm clots floating here and there in all the goo. Will he pump it into your open mouth, coating your tongue and teeth and throat, while I kneel beside you making sure you take every creamy drop? Or maybe he will give you the deep throat treatment, ejaculating so fast and hard that you can’t keep up and it pours out of your nostrils.

Of course, I could always make you gargle with it while humming I Feel Pretty or Buttons and Bows. But then again, having you save some to make cum-sickles in your ice cube tray is always fun; then you have a nice late night treat stashed away.

After all, we are in The Twilight Zone, where anything and everything is possible and pricks are the size of watermelons. And all good little cock-suckers go to heaven.

I personally like callers who are honest about their secret desire to live on their knees…licking and slurping and sucking. Good for you! You want to take a quick journey to your own personal dark side (don’t be embarrassed, we all have one) before getting back to the business of your heterosexual life.

The callers who bug me are the guys who want me to say I like big cocks. Which also includes a lot of the stuff I’ve described earlier in this blog, only we pretend he doesn’t want to suck the cock himself. These guys make my skin crawl. They can’t even be honest with themselves or me about their kink. Why even make the call? Run up the credit card?

For the record, I don’t like big cocks. They hurt. And my very real personal experience has been that the guy behind the big cock usually doesn’t know what to do with it. In other words, he can’t fuck well and is a total waste of my time. The other thing is that in my very real personal experience they don’t get all the way hard. What good are they?

It only happens in The Twilight Zone, my love. Stop by anytime. I’ll be more than happy to take you there.

xo, Angela

Three in the Hand, Thirteen in the Bush

Friday, November 9th, 2007
…were not talking about birds. We’re talking about creative kink in the hands of two very adept "good peoples." So pay attention, ‘cuz the news is awesome and so are the newsmakers.

The Hand:  Lyndee

As you should know by now, I’m not always perfect (shush–don’t tell the slaves). For example, I’m not the most tolerant person–at least in certain cases–and, ironically enough, intolerance is my major bitch. But I am good about celebrating my partners in crime, who are working it…in a good way. Luscious Lyndee happens to be one of those people. I mention her on occasion, and she stops by this blog quite often to leave a comment. I try to return the favor, only usually when I get over to her blog, she is yapping about sports, sports and more sports. Of which, despite being raised in the midst of a father, siblings, cousins uncles and even boyfriends who live for the game–any game, anywhere, anytime–I have neither comprehension nor interest. So it’s almost impossible for me to leave a comment of at least some import. Although she might be getting kinky with clown sex in the near future. You can bet I’ll have something to say then. Honk, honk. Last year, Lyndee expanded her enterprise to offer panty sluts and crossdressers a new place to hang out, The Pink Panty Cafe, which is an adorable little corner for all things sissified. Contrary to what you might thing, many PSOs have a special place in their hearts for sissy boys. I think it’s because they appeal to our maternal (or wicked stepmother) instincts. Well, now she’s gone and done it again–her dynasty grows as she presents a deliciously elegant new site, Earotica, where it looks like she will be offering some nice and some not so nice (x-rated? cross your dirty little fingers) essays and stories in her blog there. Maybe she’ll stop by and let us know. In the meantime, get over there and have yourself a peek-a-boo….and, of course, give her a call. Tell her Angela sent you and I expect a finder’s fee.

The Bush:   Burke

As a journalist/columnist I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Burke Heffner, the gifted photographer of Things to Look At and lucky husband of the incredibly beautiful Veronica Varlow of Danger Dame. To this day, that interview stands out as one the best times I’ve had when putting ink to notepad. Take if from me, not only is Burke a passionate artist, he is also one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Multitasking like so many of us do these days, Burke seems to always be up to something. Kinda-sorta specializing in pin-up and glamour, he works with models to build portfolios and is also available for other types of photo sessions, including events. For the amount of time, effort and talent he puts into a photo session, his rates are extremely reasonable. I personally think he is worth much more. So, in case you’re looking, make sure to read more about his services and rates. But the big news today is that Burke has put together a calendar, just in time for Christmas gift-giving: The Lovely Mistresses of George W. Bush. What a unique gift and devilishly grand idea. I know quite a few people who would get a kick out of this. One will be my staunchly republican brother, who I like to zing for his political leanings every chance I get. Featuring thirteen pin-up lovelies with names like Miss Appropriation and Miss Representation, the calendar is very tastefully done and office safe. Burke is donating a portion of the proceeds to Watchdog Organizations fighting corporate influence over our American government. He’s also extended an invitation to none profits and fund raisers. You will find an email address and phone number at his website. Again, I am just tickled pink with the idea, itself. And I know that coming from Burke, it will be top-notch all the way. Because that’s the only way he does things. So how many are you going to buy? Such fun! Thanks, Burke. xo, Angela

Burn Fetish Story

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

The Intern

The knock interrupted Angela’s reading, and she looked up from the file folder. Jeannie stood in the doorway.  I’ve put him in number two.  Amanda is making the final preparations.

Angela rolled her eyes.  “Amanda–again?”

Jeannie laughed.  Give her some time, Ms. St. Lawrence. It takes some time.”

“It didn’t take you much time, Jeannie,” Angela smiled, “and knock off that Ms. St. Lawrence crap.”

“Yes ma’am,”  Jeannie teased.

Angela closed the file and moved it to the corner of her desk.  “But you’re good at whatever you do,  Jeannie.  It didn’t take you any time to become the best AA in this building either. But I miss you in the chamber.”

“Thank you, Angie,” Jeannie smiled, accepting the compliment. Her promotion to Angela’s administrative assistant had brought more money, but it was also a job that she enjoyed very much.  Now she assisted with the details of so many different aspects of the correction and punishment of so many prisoners, and it was something she felt she had a great aptitude for.

“Amanda’s just a kid. She has potential. And she wants this job.”

“What she wants is inconsequential, Jeannie,” Angela scowled.  “Tell her to be ready for me in ten minutes.”

Jeannie closed the door and crossed the hallway to her office. One thing that was for sure–what mattered in this department was what Angela St. Lawrence wanted. That’s what made her so good at her job. Something the unfortunate gentleman she had just escorted to holding cell two was about to find out.

She picked up the phone and dialed Amanda’s extension.

****

Ten minutes. A good thing she had noticed that a new prisoner had arrived, and had already stoked the fires. Now all she needed to do was get the prisoner in place.

Amanda walked to the forge that was built into the chamber’s far wall. A brick shelf extended from this wall at a height of about 36 inches.  The center of the shelf formed a basin, in which a mound of coals glowed brightly. She had added a fresh layer of charcoal, and had pumped the bellows of the forge until these new coals were now almost a homogeneous scarlet with the rest.

There were three small tools that Ms. St. Lawrence seemed to favor, so she made sure that these were embedded in the coals. Next, she turned to inspect the brazier. The forge was at the foot of the large wooden table that occupied the center of the room. Instead of a perfect rectangle, a large V notch had been cut out of one end. This was the end where prisoners’ legs were spread, allowing the Facilitator easy access to the genitalia.

Just to the right of the head of the table was a large brazier. To this, Amanda had added several pieces of split-oak firewood. Removing a poker from the flames, she pushed at these burning pieces, breaking them up and forcing them deeper into the existing embers. The poker was then jammed back into the fire, next to other handles of other tools, the business ends buried deep in their fiery container.

“She has to be happy with that,” Amanda thought, watching the newly stirred embers flame. This was only the third time that Amanda had assisted Ms. St. Lawrence. The last two times hadn’t gone well. In fact–the first time–Ms. St. Lawrence had sent her out of the chamber.

***

She had been through one year of Pyro-Correctional vocational study at the community college; and now almost six months of internship here, but this was the next level, and she was perhaps not as prepared as she could have been for what happened in these particular chambers.

But she knew that she could adjust, she could learn. She wanted to, so much. There was something that she could not really describe that had always appealed to her about working here.  And she had been an A student in her classroom training.

In the first three months of her internship she had been assigned to the Misdemeanor department, observing and assisting with light to moderate tortures. The last two months had been spent in Interrogations, but prisoners’ rights limited the seriousness of the torture that could be administered. Supposedly. She learned that there were ways around this. In institutions like this there always were. But in many of those cases she was asked to leave the room or sent on some trumped-up errand, while the interrogators did their work behind closed doors.

Now she was in the Corrections department, where there was no reason for secrecy. These prisoners had been duly tried, found guilty, and sentenced. This was where those sentences were carried out. And the Facilitators–women like Ms. St. Lawrence–carried them out in ways to which Amanda had never been exposed.

The first time she assisted, the time that Ms. St. Lawrence dismissed her, involved a prisoner that had been convicted of attempted rape. Ms. St. Lawrence had explained to her that according to the transcript, the rape had not been successful, but that men disposed to this behavior were likely to attempt it again. It could not be tolerated. She had asked Amanda to go to the forge and pump the bellows to make sure that the implement she intended for the prisoner was heated intensely.

So Amanda did as she was told, even though she could not see anything but the coals themselves, and pumped as she watched Ms. St. Lawrence pull the prisoner’s pants down to his ankle shackles. She smiled as he explained his innocence.  “I know, you’re all innocent,” Ms. St. Lawrence had answered, sounding sympathetic.  She’d then turned and opened a drawer in a small cabinet, and removed a ball gag.  “But I certainly don’t need to hear about it, now do I?”  After gagging the prisoner, Ms. St. Lawrence stood between his legs, and began to massage his penis.

Amanda was not surprised. She knew that an erection was usually a prerequisite to torture. “You like young women,” Ms. St. Lawrence said rhetorically, since he could not respond. “So I’m sure you’ll like Amanda.”

“Why don’t you play with his cock?” Ms. St. Lawrence had a calm determination in her voice, as she motioned for Amanda to join her at the table. “I understand that the young lady you accosted was just about Amanda’s age? The prisoner shook his head violently in protest as Amanda approached.  “So enjoy!”

Ms. St. Lawrence had moved out of the way, and Amanda, knowing from her training exactly what to do, began to caress his penis.

Raised a good Catholic, Amanda, now 19, had managed to remain a virgin. But she was an expert in hand jobs and blow jobs. In high school and college she had actually intimidated a few boyfriends, because she had so aggressively made them orgasm. It was like their cocks — and their semen– were hers to control. And when they came, it wasn’t them giving it; Amanda was taking it.

So manipulating him, like so many others, was easy. And Ms. St. Lawrence actually seemed to be impressed as Amanda quickly made him rock hard. By this time, Ms. St. Lawrence had moved to the forge and had begun stroking the handle of the bellows.

“Dicks get men into a lot of trouble, just like you’re in right now,” Ms. St. Lawrence explained, oblivious to his protest and panic. “Look at you. Wanting to stick that thing where it doesn’t belong.”

“Even though you were sentenced once before for trying to do the same thing to another woman,” Ms. St. Lawrence said as she picked up a pair of tongs and started to dig into the blazing coals, “you just haven’t learned.”

She found what she had been searching for in the coals and removed a gleaming red cylinder, clenched between the tongs.

“If you want to put that thing into some place it doesn’t belong, Mr. Man,” she smiled, “why don’t we put it in here?”

That was when Amanda made her mistake. “Oh my GOD!” She almost thought it had come from someone else. But she had said it. She stopped stroking his cock. She was mesmerized by the red-hot iron sleeve that Ms. St. Lawrence brought towards towards the cock in her hands. “Oh, Jesus.” Had that come from her again?

“If this is too much for you Amanda you can leave now,” Ms. St. Lawrence said, matter-of-factly. The glowing cylinder of iron was just above his erect penis. Amanda could feel his pulse in his cock, hear the protests despite the gag, actually smell the heat of the burning iron. She didn’t know if she was excited, or nauseated, or both.

“Leave the room, Amanda. I don’t think you are ready for this,” Ms. St. Lawrence commanded, “leave now!”

Amanda let go of his cock, and walked towards the door. Embarrassed and humiliated, she didn’t look back. She desperately want to stay for what would be next. Ms. St. Lawrence had made that perfectly clear. But she knew better than to ask. Instead, she went straight to the closest ladies room, locked the stall, and masturbated.

***

This time, Amanda knew she’d get it right. This time, maybe Ms. St. Lawrence would be so impressed with her professional execution of her duties that she would even allow her be the one to put the offender’s penis in that burning hot cylinder. Just as she heard the click click click of Ms. St. Lawrence’s heels coming down the hall, she felt a gush of wetness between her legs.

It was going to be tricky. But she just knew she could do it. She had to, because someday she was determined to be a Facilitator, just like Ms. St. Lawrence. They had all the fun.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

**** NOTE: This story (STARRING ME!) was written for me (0nly for me, he said.) by a client. Having your penis burned is a rare fetish, so I though you might like a voyeur’s peek. Of course, the client shall remain anonymous.

 

FYI: NO PENISES WERE HARMED DURING THE CREATION OF THIS FETISH FANTASY.