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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


You Might Have a Small Penis

(For my Small Penis Humilation Junkies, adapted from the PIC blog.)

You Might Have a Small Penis if …

  • you sort through hundreds of emails in your spam folder every week, vigilantly marking every penis enlargement ad as "Not Spam."
  • women refer to your happy trail as the "trail of tears."
  • you’ve never been able to figure out why there’s a slit in your boxers.
  • a man at a bar has ever seen you, talked with you, felt your crotch, and STILL mistaken you for a woman.
  • girls affectionately refer to giving you a handjob as "pushing your button."
  • you think deep-throating is just a musical skill practiced by bass vocalists.
  • you’ve ever tried to cave your penis in on itself, and succeeded long enough to have inverse cock sex with a man.
  • it’s been mistaken for your belly button.
  • you refuse to watch porn because it’s "totally unrealistic."
  • you refer to the part of your penis below the head as the "neck."
  • you have to "look around" before you pull it out at the urinals.
  • you tell a girl to get ready for your manhood, and she giggles.
  • you tell yourself its perfectly normal to shower in your boxers in the locker room.
  • you put a condom on, and it slips off.
  • you hold your condom in place with rubber bands
  • you refer to masturbating as "pumping your sawed-off.
  • your foreskin hangs two inches past the tip…and you’re circumcised.
  • you encountered a genie and made the mistake of asking for a little head.
  • you own two sets of tweezers because one is designated solely for "unmentionables.
  • you’ve ever gotten a girl to agree to nasal sex because "well, it won’t hurt to try."
  • your girlfriend whistles It’s a Small World After All during sex.
  • your penis says YOU’RE small, but you know he’s just bitter.
  • you get blowjobs from amoebas.
  • your girlfriend brings a shrimp fork to bed.
  • you need to shave your pubes in order to urinate.
  • your girlfriend’s clit is larger than your penis.
  • your nickname has always been Little Willie 

(And if this just wasn’t any fun, well — go look at lots and lots of dirty pictures.)

5 Responses to “You Might Have a Small Penis”

  1. HDB Says:

    Some funny stuff and you can “push my button” any time you’d like maam.

  2. Sponge Bob Says:


  3. Mr. Smith Says:

    So cruel! Just look at that Bush-ette cutting the male ego to shreds. Angela, how could you team up with her? Don’t you profess to be a “bleeding heart liberal?” I’m sure those were your exact words.

    The only way you can reconcile this is to start an endowment for the un-endowed.

    I speak from apathy becase this, which should go without saying, has never been a problem of mine. *cough, cough*

  4. Angela Says:

    Yes, I am a Bleeding Heart Liberal. But how could I resist?

  5. slaveboyseven Says:

    Ummm … all of the above?

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