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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


Archive for September, 2008

Strap On in a Poem? Yup!

Sunday, September 28th, 2008


by Jill Alexander Essbaum

                   (a definition) 

A woman in black with a wasted face,
              Small, bleak girl in a blue satin dress,
                            A nervy girl with a rabid pulse,

A loose-of-life lady, a beggar in skirts,
              A kitten at your keys, the witch who wouldn’t burn,
                            The red spot on Jupiter that could swallow the Earth,

A cavern into which you climb,
              The gangplank bridging swoon and sigh,
                            That wee bit of lust you drag alongside,

Who you cast like a pearl before a pig,
              Who you clothe as a housemaid in your wife’s rags,
                            Who frotts your thigh and bums your fags,

Who cooks the supper and works the avenue,
              Who has a different name each time she knows you,
                            And swears that she would kill for you,

The early bird that eats the worm,
              An orphan of the universe,
                            The coed seducing her teacher mid-tern,

She’s miracle, spectacle, pinnacle, side-show,
              Manacle, clavicle, tabernacle, afterglow,
                            A little button made of bone,

Who lodges in the heart’s hotel,
              Who people demand of what they will,
                            Who’ll do you in the swimming pool,

And play Cockney nurse to your Scottish physician,
              A cock-smitten gin-Molly with a sottish disposition,
                            The groupie who’s made it with all the musicians,

A wily mistress, Zion’s daughter,
              That stupor in the gaze of mourners,
                            Gravedigger, stonecutter, hearsedriver, shroudmender,

Who lies beneath you like a whore,
              And puts good use to sullen hours,
                            And blinks back tears of raving terror,

Your whole life’s happiness, grey as ash,
              Your piece-on-the-side, your secret stash,
                            A hot sauce and a tasty dish,

Who will dance until God falls out of his sky,
              And allow you to handle the merchandise,
                            But will engine your Titanic to an iceberg demise,

And will screw you to the wall with scant ado,
              Darkness done, she casts no shadow,
                            Fuck all, she’ll say, I’m having issues,

She’s the fiction invented for your arousal,
              The serpent you take up and the poison you suckle,
                            A frivolous income at your disposal,

And her weary nights wear on worriedly,
              And she fears she may die from lack of sleep,
                            And her wide-alive eyes are Eau-de-Nil green,

And her Free States masquerade as Confederate,
              And her tastes run noble, but her talents, proletariat,
                            Who flirts with trouble and trouble returns it,

She’s your Sanctum Sanctorum and your Hocus Pocus,
              Whole cities spring up from the ruin she once was,
                            She is insane, and she is in sadness,

Who will stick to you as a burr to cloth,
              Who blends her Stoli with Seconal,
                            The she-wolf with your crotch in her jaw,

Intransitive verb without an object,
              And if you loved her you should have said it,
                            And if you said it, you ought to have meant it,

Rahab, Tallulah, Joan of Arc,
              Hooker, Strumpet, Strap-on, Tart,
                            She’ll go up like a goddamn spark,

And singe your linens and char your plaster,
              And traumatize your mother and appall your pastor,
                            And she will do whatever you ask her,

The gangly book-mouse who cowers a bit,
              That soft-bottomed Ma with a child on her tit,
                            A concubine damp from her sash to her slit—

              Yeah. That’s about it.


Oh I am  so very, very charmed, enamoured, gaga over, fall-on-my-knees-smitten with the lovely Ms.Essbaum.  Yes, there is a book and a website … aptly named Harlot and  Harlot Poems, respectively.

The website notes that her poetry has been compared to "a cross between Dorothy Parker and a lap dance" and "John Donne in sexy underwear."  And you already know I adore Donne.

Oh, and there are more books of poetry (and, yes, SD, I want them all.  please, please, please):  Oh Forbidden, Heaven, and the soon-to-be-published Necropolis.

I have another one from Ms. Essbaum I will be featuring soon … much shorter, but simply scrumptious and quite funny.

xo, Angela

You Rang?

Friday, September 26th, 2008

If you aren’t watching the debate tonight, shame on you!  Here’s a list of the latest key words surfers are using to find this little ol’ blog of mine.  Interesting, eh?

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Cross Dressing Giuliani

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Via The New York Post, which you can read here.  Thanks for the heads up from PQS, who observed:  What was Rudy thinking?  Ahhh … he must of been snorting some of that fairy dust. 


Who’s To Judge Kink?

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

As in … if you were listening in on my call with Mr. M today in which he astutely observed: 

For all we know,  Sarah regularly dresses up like a Polar Bear and makes Todd take her strap-on oil rig up the ass.

Thus I brag  — not for the first time, nor for the last — that I have the absolute greatest callers in the world.  (kisses, Mr. M — talk with you soon)

xo, Angela

Angelaphabet 0.9

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Random Mischief ~ September 2008

Anal Beads ala Felix the Cat
Bad Boy Living the Life
Condom a capella Ringtone (FREE)
Drunk as a skunk:  Christopher Hitchens
Elegant Undies … Seriously!
Financial Domination with Ms. Sherry E.
Girly-Boy Transgender Erotica
Have Fun!  Play Sex Games
Irving Klaw:  Retro Fetish Photos
Jason likes Porn Stars
Kink via The New York Times
Lingerie Blog from Slip-of-a-Girl
Mother Jones:  Phone Sex Photo Essay
Not So Silent-Porn Star Blog
Once you vote black, you’ll never, er, um …
Pat Buchanan:  Satan’s toady
Quickie Domination
Radical Vixen:  Make Porn Not War (and call her)
Sex work:  Will She or Won’t She?
Tons of Dirty Pictures
Ultra-Hip Sissy Man Blog
Vampire Phone Sex
Wong Number?
Xtreme BDSM with Eva Lordes
You Can Be a Dirty Little Blogger
Zen-fabulous Hypnotic Goddess