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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


Archive for April, 2009

Angelaphabet 0.10

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Angelaphabet 0.10:  I Get Around

Ashley Madison for your cheating heart
Buttered popcorn, a good friend, lights out
Cougar on the prowl
Di Emmeseh Schoireh (for Misters H, B & M)
Etta tears our hearts out
Frank Rich on Torture, et. al.
Girls rule.  Boys drool
Hallelujah ala Jeff Buckley
If your not man enough
Jewelry for the Rectum
Kinky Reading
Lingerie Lust
Men in chains (wink)
Nerd Music
One hundred Book Clubs plus
Politics of Porn
Quitclaimed Slave Boy
Resveratrol ~ I’m a believer
Superannuated Fucking
Tess Eloise:  Authentic Courtesan
U know you want her … bad
V8 ~ I could have and I did and I do
Write-well by Orwell
X-Treme Ass Worship
Y U should buy the May Vanity Fair
Zen Goddesses

Damn! Serious Man Candy

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009


Heffner Does Klimt (SEXY)

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

No, not that Heffner.  We are talking about Burke Heffner, of course:  my favorite-est Pin-Up artist/photographer.  You may have read my interview?  So I do occasionally check up on Mr. Heffner to see, well, just what the heck he is currently up to.  And what do you know?  Here (in all its glory) was this incredibly sexy and evocative homage to Klimt’s unarguably most famous painting

Dare I say it?  I do believe Burke’s version is better.  I may have to inquire into just what it would take ($$$) to get this home and onto my bedroom wall.

Bravo, Dear Burke.  Bravo, Kudos and kindly kisses.


Phone Sex Quote of the Day

Men don’t put as much stock in pictures of Phone Sex Operators as you’d think.  Because — to be honest — the more you stroke, the better she looks.  (Mr. F.)


Phone Sex FemDom Goddess of the Day

Okay, I’m going to fess up:  I am so smitten with Goddess Lycia that I could easily step down from my very own (somewhat rickety — I will admit) pedastal to worship at hers.  She’s  that incredibly and honestly sexy.  It’s in a very  "real girl" way, and I often wonder How does she pull that off — that home-spun beauty magically entwined with an edgy and slighty dangerous mystique?  For Goddess Lycia, it’s all about Mind Control.  And you do know what they say about the brain being your largest sex organ?

You don’t?  That’s okay.  Goddess Lycia is a highly sought after HypnoDomme specializing in love and addiction, tease and denial, humiliation, feminization, and financial domination, and she will show you the way.  The only way.   

Who worships at Goddess Lycia’s altar?  In her own words:  My boys are one or more of the following: submissive, vulnerable, helpless, hopeless, weak, mindless, manipulated, brainwashed, teased, denied, hypnotized, sissified, feminized, objectified, dominated, addicted, controlled, horny, hard, in love, obsessed, losers, wimps, panty-boys, piggies, atm machines, financial slaves, chastised, demoralized, cuckolds, empty, blank, puppets, sex slaves, sex toys, footstools, ashtrays, perverts, suckers, ass-lickers, boot-lickers, toe-suckers, house-cleaners, crossdressers, forced to be bi, forced into slavery, depersonalized…Which ones are you?

As our lovely Fem Fatale says at her websitePrepare to become addicted.

xo, Angela

Beauty and the Beast

Monday, April 20th, 2009

You’re Beautiful

by Simon Armitage

You’re beautiful because you’re classically trained.
I’m ugly because I associate piano wire with strangulation.

You’re beautiful because you stop to read the cards in
newsagents’ windows about lost cats and missing dogs.
I’m ugly because of what I did to that jellyfish with a lolly
stick and a big stone.

You’re beautiful because for you, politeness is instinctive, not
a marketing campaign.
I’m ugly because desperation is impossible to hide.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.

You’re beautiful because you believe in coincidence and the
power of thought.
I’m ugly because I proved God to be a mathematical

You’re beautiful because you prefer home-made soup to the
packet stuff.
I’m ugly because once, at a dinner party, I defended the
aristocracy and wasn’t even drunk.

You’re beautiful because you can’t work the remote control.
I’m ugly because of satellite television and twenty-four-hour
rolling news.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.

You’re beautiful because you cry at weddings as well as
I’m ugly because I think of children as another species from
a different world.

You’re beautiful because you look great in any colour
including red.
I’m ugly because I think shopping is strictly for the
acquisition of material goods.

You’re beautiful because when you were born, undiscovered
planets lined up to peep over the rim of your cradle and lay
gifts of gravity and light at your miniature feet.
I’m ugly for saying "love at first sight" is another form of
mistaken identity, and that the most human of all responses
is to gloat.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.

You’re beautiful because you’ve never seen the inside of a
I’m ugly because I always ask for a receipt.

You’re beautiful for sending a box of shoes to the third
I’m ugly because I remember the telephone numbers of
ex-girlfriends and the year Schubert was born.

You’re beautiful because you sponsored a parrot in a zoo.
I’m ugly because when I sigh it’s like the slow collapse of a
circus tent.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.

You’re beautiful because you can point at a man in a uniform
and laugh.
I’m ugly because I was a police informer in a previous life.

You’re beautiful because you drink a litre of water and eat
three pieces of fruit a day.
I’m ugly for taking the line that a meal without meat is a
beautiful woman with one eye.

You’re beautiful because you don’t see love as a competition
and you know how to lose.
I’m ugly because I kissed the FA Cup then held it up to the

You’re beautiful because of a single buttercup in the top
buttonhole of your cardigan.
I’m ugly because I said the World’s Strongest Woman was a
muscleman in a dress.

You’re beautiful because you couldn’t live in a lighthouse.
I’m ugly for making hand-shadows in front of the giant bulb,
so when they look up, the captains of vessels in distress see
the ears of a rabbit, or the eye of a fox, or the legs of a
galloping black horse.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.

Ugly like he is,
Beautiful like hers,
Beautiful like Venus,
Ugly like his,
Beautiful like she is,
Ugly like Mars.


I’ve been reading a lot of interesting poetry lately, in fact on a daily basis, because it’s Poetry Month and I’m on the Knopf -Doubleday mailing list for the daily email.  I’m still trying to figure out what the antiphonal repeating chorus is about, but still … it’s a great poem.   I can almost hear the man’s (husband’s?) whine in every verse as he  describes their differences.  Or he could just be a caller describing his relationship with his Phone Sex Princess/Goddess/Mistress.  Either way, it works.  It’s that Petrarchian thing again.

Do make a point to visit the poet’s website, where there is some interesting video.   Sir Gawain and the Green Knight anyone?


Phone Sex Goddess of the Day

The divinely dangerous Miss Lauren of Lauren Rules just might be the woman who finally breaks you.  A voluptuous blonde who excels in training, using and abusing the male animal, Mistress Lauren is a force to be reckoned with.  If you’ve been seeking a powerful and confident Mistress — and feel you haven’t yet quite met your match — then you simply must call this intoxicating and hypnotic beauty.  While you still have possession of your own balls (because She WILL soon own them) visit LAUREN RULES.  And don’t forget THE BLOG, which will absolutely make you weak in the knees.


Phone Sex Advice of the Day

Manners count.  It’s that simple and that important.  PSOs are not any different than the women you meet in your everyday life.  You might even have a female friend that is a PSO and you don’t even know it.  Would you want her to see you acting that way?  We won’t (unless you called an idiot PSO) judge you by your kink.  But we will judge you by your politesse or lack thereof.  It’s human nature; and we are, after all human.  Just like you.  Which is exactly the point.

xo, Angela

Don’t You Wish

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Nymphomanic Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What’s your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.  Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.  I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I’m sorry," she said, "I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein.  But my friends call me Bubba.


I don’t remember who sent me that, but it sure is funny.  Was it you, Puzzler?  I’m thinking it was.  Or perhaps it was my sister, Bethany?  Thanks to whomever. 

And while I’m at it, this next few days are going to be/might be/could be pretty busy so look for me, but don’t expect/do hope for much.  Tomorrow (Monday) I should be working from noon-ish until midnight … but that could change depending on a few circumstances that might pop up.  I don’t think they will be a problem, but just in case — you’re forewarned.  Then Tuesday is a BIG morning with my very expensive and talented hairdresser for my much needed and beloved highlights.


Phone Sex Quote of the Day

Even though I hadn’t a clue and was totally taken by surprise, I wasn’t angry or turned off in the least.  I just thought, "Well!  What do you know?"  — Mr. A. telling me about his reaction to finding out the "lady" he’d been seducing (I just thought she had a lot of bush) was a TS (transexual).  And he DID continue with the seduction.  


Phone Sex Scunt (scum + cunt) of the Day

Sissy M, who really really pissed me off today.  Get a grip and learn to act like a man … even when you’re in panties.  There is no excuse for your behavior and you are totally not getting what the phone sex experience is about.  Because, guess what?  It’s the same as everything else in life:  you get what you put into it. But then again, I suspect you don’t put much into life, so … don’t call me.  I’ll call you.


DEAR READERS:  I am sooo sorry for losing my cool and telling off Sissy M. right here in public.  I really, really, really try to ignore these guys (just block their calls and move on) and pay attention to the good guys who deserve my attention,  like Mr. A. (who is a stand-up kinkster).  BUT that idiot I interrupted our blogging adventure with his call only to hang up at one minute.  

And so … well … er … just except my apologies and keep adoring me.

xo, Angela