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Wankers Unite Against O’Donnell

Oh yes she did say it:

It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can’t masturbate without lust!

Lester (Kevin Spacey) jerks it in American Beauty

Jimmy Kimmel:

I’m not a political person.  I keep to myself.  I’m not one to get involved in these things.

I’m not proud to say I’ll stand by as our leaders drag us into wars based on false pretenses. I’ll stand by while our oceans are polluted by greedy corporations who only care about money. I’ll stand by while our military blatantly discriminates against our own armed forced based on their sexual preferences.

But I’ll tell you something:  When our right to masturbate is threatened, that’s where I draw the line.  What goes on between me in my own bedroom  (and car sometimes) is my business, not the government’s.

Phone Sex Caller #12: 

This is a recession and masturbation is all we’ve got.  And she wants to take that away from us?

Roger Ebert tweet:

Karl Rove hoping to cast Pee-Wee Herman in the Willy Horton role for Christine O’Donnell‘s attack ads.

Phone Sex Caller #5:

I’ll just quote Mark Twain:  Be good and you will be lonesome.

Jay Leno:

Frankly, I don’t think it’s any of her business what I do in the privacy of that voting booth. This is America. Once you close that little curtain, you should be able to pull any lever you want.

dutchboy (blog comment):

Though maybe we shouldn’t get too cocksure and erect her political headstone just yet. After all, the teabaggers will be pulling for her, long and hard. If they can stimulate turnout, her campaign might experience a sudden spurt. Things could still get sticky in Delaware. This is truly a seminal political moment.

Stephen Colbert:

"Masturbation is adultry." I know this is horrible news for my home audience, many of whom are committing adultry even as we speak.  But, folks, don’t panic.  There is simple way to fix this problem:  Simply, marry your hand!

Phone Sex Caller #7:

It’s like you say on your Twitter Account, Angela:  Do you really think God cares what you do with your dick? 

Craig Ferguson:

A lot of people love this woman. In the last 24 hours she’s raised more than $1,000,000. Which I think is ironic, because she’s against masturbation, but she’s taking money hand over fist.

Phone Sex Caller #34:

Wonder what she’d say if she knew that I regularly eat my own cum? 


xo, Angela

Source Material: Daniel Kurtzman, Rachel Maddow Video, Roger Ebert Twitter Feed,

9 Responses to “Wankers Unite Against O’Donnell”

  1. HDB Says:

    I believe that the bible says something like this and that she buys into it. Dunno though if that makes her crazy. Just don’t tread on me. And in this context, please Ms. O’Donnell, don’t handcuff me if my pud appears too happy.

  2. science nerd Says:

    I guess I won’t be stumping for her! What happens so often is that the more the righteous the pronouncements, the more sordid the closet. Stay tuned.

  3. PQS Says:

    If she’s trying to cut down on lust in our hearts, abstinence isn’t the answer. Abstinence promotes lust. As Oscar Wilde once said:
    “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it…I can resist everything but temptation.”

  4. just bob Says:

    She said a lot of other shit, too. All just as crazy. I will never understand the extreme right wing’s ability to overlook this crap, even to the point of considering her a a possible presidential canidate.

    I mean, WTF? Really people? You don’t have anything smarter than this trainwreck to throw at us?

  5. Mr. Smith Says:

    I’d be surprised if many religious leaders actually agreed with Pristine-Christine. In fact, I know for a fact, that masturbation is actually encouraged as a healthy and acceptable outlet (in lieu of intercourse before marriage) by many clerics of various faiths.

  6. jerkyboy Says:

    If God didn’t want us to masturbate he’d given us two left hands or four left feet. Either way we’d be screwed. Which just isn’t as much fun as masurbating. lol

  7. Vanilla Savant Says:

    I have to smile that this particular blog entry has gotten so much comment. It seems that Ms. O’Donnell has touched a nerve – even if we aren’t supposed to touch it. But when she took all that time to pay her college loans (17 years) – wasn’t she jerking someone off?

  8. PQS Says:

    I’m calling Angela! If I don’t masturbate, Christine O’Donnell wins!

  9. litmajor Says:

    But maybe, just maybe, she also thinks its time for the government to stop screwing us, too!

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