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S T I M U L A T E the E C O N O M Y

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another Economic Stimulus payment.  This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

BUT … think about this:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs..

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala …

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

5 Responses to “S T I M U L A T E the E C O N O M Y”

  1. PB Ted Says:

    Works for me.

  2. PQS Says:

    Actually the $$$ just goes to corporations, who move it wherever they want to. But, as Mitt Romney (and our Supreme Court) says, corporations are just people. So be happy! It’s going to people!

  3. Angela Says:

    BTW … Thanks to HDB — my lovable, head-strong conservative (politically, but certainly not sexually *wink*) — for sending this to me.

    And to all of you … don’t ever think I don’t read your emails. I read every single one and am always delighted to see who’s in my inbox.


  4. science nerd Says:

    Hey sweetie, I guess I already have a head start on the all-American stimulus plan, which, by the way, includes investing in YOU. What a return on my investment!

  5. kaitlin Says:

    Your logic is flawless.

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