ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…..

_____________________________

(via my email.  Thanks, sis!)

xo, Angela

I think I forgot something.  Hmmm …

Oops.  Were you looking for Phone Sex? 

Have I got a girl (or two or three or even more) for you!

Naughty Natalie 18: A sweet & nasty Fuck Slut.   CLICK HERE

Big Bodacious Bridgette:  Hot! Wet! And waiting for YOU!  CLICK HERE

Flaming Embers: Hot Cougar entertains your fetishes.  CLICK HERE

Insatiable Goddess:  It’s HER world & you are only in it. CLICK HERE

 

My sweet sister, Bethany, as I’ve oft mentioned, forwards me zillions of emails she receives inter/intra office.  Because, I guess, that’s what all the people with vanilla jobs do with their time on the company clock.

(Except the sneaky guys holing up behind their office door or inside a bathroom stall to call me for a bout of dirty, nasty PhoneSex.  You know who you are.  No sense blushing!  Or stuttering.  Or hiding behind that Wall Street Journal.  I’ve got your number.  Oh, I forgot.  I don’t have your number.  You have have my number.  *wink* ) 

Anyway, I thought this was awesome-cute and am passing it along:

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is .. . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age 35 success is .. . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . .. having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is .. . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . .. . not piddling in your pants.

________________________

Hope you enjoyed.  And I am available for Phone Sex Calls this evening.  But don’t expect me to be as cute and nice as the above.  I’m thinking more along the lines of some serious fetish or kink.  Maybe a Cuckold Call or two?  Or some serious BDSM?  At least a bit of Cross-Dressing or Forced Bi?

Nymphomanic Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What’s your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.  Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.  I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I’m sorry," she said, "I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein.  But my friends call me Bubba.

_________________________________

I don’t remember who sent me that, but it sure is funny.  Was it you, Puzzler?  I’m thinking it was.  Or perhaps it was my sister, Bethany?  Thanks to whomever. 

And while I’m at it, this next few days are going to be/might be/could be pretty busy so look for me, but don’t expect/do hope for much.  Tomorrow (Monday) I should be working from noon-ish until midnight … but that could change depending on a few circumstances that might pop up.  I don’t think they will be a problem, but just in case — you’re forewarned.  Then Tuesday is a BIG morning with my very expensive and talented hairdresser for my much needed and beloved highlights.

_________________________________ 

Phone Sex Quote of the Day

Even though I hadn’t a clue and was totally taken by surprise, I wasn’t angry or turned off in the least.  I just thought, "Well!  What do you know?"  — Mr. A. telling me about his reaction to finding out the "lady" he’d been seducing (I just thought she had a lot of bush) was a TS (transexual).  And he DID continue with the seduction.  

_________________________________

Phone Sex Scunt (scum + cunt) of the Day

Sissy M, who really really pissed me off today.  Get a grip and learn to act like a man … even when you’re in panties.  There is no excuse for your behavior and you are totally not getting what the phone sex experience is about.  Because, guess what?  It’s the same as everything else in life:  you get what you put into it. But then again, I suspect you don’t put much into life, so … don’t call me.  I’ll call you.

_________________________________

DEAR READERS:  I am sooo sorry for losing my cool and telling off Sissy M. right here in public.  I really, really, really try to ignore these guys (just block their calls and move on) and pay attention to the good guys who deserve my attention,  like Mr. A. (who is a stand-up kinkster).  BUT that idiot I interrupted our blogging adventure with his call only to hang up at one minute.  

And so … well … er … just except my apologies and keep adoring me.

xo, Angela