A Few Things You Wanted to Know About Phone Sex
~ But Were Afraid to Ask
It just might be that — rather than being afraid to ask — you just don’t give a damn. … one way or the other. But this lass does care. It’s what I DO. So if you don’t mind, we’re going to go over some basics today. If you actually do find this topic of interest, then I urge you to read (or re-read, as the case should may be) my post, Phone Sex Tips for Men.
⇒No Two Phone Sex Calls Are Alike
Yes, you heard that right: Phone Sex calls are kinda-sorta like snowflakes. And we may already be starting off on the wrong foot, because I’m going to rephrase myself: No Two Phone Sex Calls SHOULD BE alike. If they are, um, buddy, then something is just not kosher. Key turn-ons flirted with? Sure. Certain hot buttons tickled? Of course. You’re the "boy" after all and need your milk-and cookie-fix like clockwork.
Try thinking of phone sex as melody/medley of musical chairs/speed dating. Really, I mean it. Picture it. How could any encounter, even if you occasionally end up sitting across from the same girl, repeat itself? So expect the unexpected, even require the unexpected.
But here’s the catch: You must not only require the unexpected of that girl whispering sweet nothings into your ear, you must require the unexpected of the moment you are in, and you must, more importantly, require it of yourself. In other words, don’t be the same old boring you. You get to do that every day.
Dare to be audacious, open yourself up to adventure. And don’t forget that part of opening up is giving a little or even a lot. Take a leap of faith and tell her that "extra-dirty" detail of your secret fantasy. You know — the one you’ve never, ever told anybody, not even other PSOs. Ask her about something you’ve been tip-toeing around the edges of. ie. exactly what is cuckolding? Or talk about a particular XXX website or blog that has caught your attention so that your phone cohort will get the "hint" and know where to take you. Describe a scene that’s been playing over and over again in your head. If she is wise, she’ll get it and your off and running!
⇒Good Phone Sex is NOT About Fucking
And I mean that in the nicest way. No, really, I do! Stop smirking. Now this doesn’t mean some serious copulation won’t occur sometime during your Phone Sex encounter. Of course not. It just means that when and if it happens (because, believe you me, there are a lot of other ways to orgasm besides intercourse and even masturbation — particularly during a fetish-y, kinky type of call) it will usually be absolutely-tutely mind-blowing, due to the mind-fucking and word games played beforehand. In other words, good Phone Sex is all about the adjectives (i.e. sleek, wet, rock-hard, swollen, spasming) and the adverbs (answering the incredibly important questions of how, when, where and why).
Let’s get real here. Getting laid is the stuff of everyday life. You really don’t need a PSO for that. You have your significant others and/or friends with whom you share benefits, and/or one-night stands and/or massage parlors with happy endings. And never let it be said that I don’t encourage the real sex of every day life. It’s healthy and it’s necessary, both physiologically and psychologically.
I would never underestimate the importance of the human touch … the textures, the scents, the taste, the emotional bonding of sex with a real, live person. But we’re not talking about that, are we? We’re talking about Hot Sex Chat. We’re talking about Erotic Fantasy Conversation.
Yes you could call me and be quick about it and mount me and I could moan and groan and we could say goodbye. Wam. Bam. Thank you, Ma’am. But didn’t you just do that with your wife last night? Why waste your hard-earned cash on a Phone Sex Call doing the same thing with me? How can we make it worth your time and money to call me, while also making it !hot damn! stupendous, tremendous, and even maybe down-right earth-shattering? Back to those adjectives and adverbs.
What if … long before any fucking:
- Your secretary discovers your secret fetish for black stockings.
- Megan, a student in your Ethics class, walks in on you masturbating.
- You snoop around your wife’s computer only to discover she’s searching for lesbian porn.
- The girl giving you a lap dance invites you home with her.
- Big-breasted Marcie keeps coming on to you — only she’s your brother’s girlfriend.
- The woman next to you on the flight whispers something really dirty in your ear.
- You make a pass at your mother’s best friend.
- The children’s nanny keeps leaving her panties around where you can find them.
- You’re spying on your (sunbathing nude) neighbor when she catches you.
Can you imagine? Can you see how many roads you might travel before you get to the down-and-dirty of it? The possibilities are endless and the adventures limitless. And there’s a lot of words between here and there. But, my-O-my, how sweet it is when you get there. Can you even fathom just how intense THAT orgasm would be? I would argue it’s a zillion times better. All because of those adjectives and adverbs.
⇒One Phone Sex Girl is NOT the Same as Another
Absolutely, positively TRUE! And whether you realize it or not, you pretty much believe this yourself. Otherwise you’d be doing the eeny meeney miney moe method of Phone Sex Search rather than wasting a whole lot of your (I’m assuming) valuable time perusing PhoneSex Topsites, skimming pages upon pages of NiteFlirt listings and/or scouring the web via your very own favorite search terms (stiletto phonesex, Cougar Sex, Cock Control, erotic humiliation, hot tease phone sex, ruined orgasm, cross-dressing, MILF, Princess phonesex, Taboo, Kinky phone, Mature, shemale, barely legal … fill in the blank).
The point being that we are as different and unique as our callers. There’s bad ones, to good ones, to great ones, to superior ones — and everything in between. Again, we’re just like you and every other human being on this planet. You did know we live on the same planet as you, didn’t you?
What was that? Do you have a question? And just where would you put yourself in that concatenation, Miss Angela? I’m so glad you asked beloved and cherished reader/caller. Because the truth of the matter is I don’t know. My inability to place myself into the Phone Sex Continuum speaks not to a lack of self-knowledge or inability to gauge my "strengths" and "weaknesses." It speaks to the fact of what we are discussing: Everybody is uniquely kinky in their own very special way and recreates and/or imagines that kinkiness de novo when they endeavor to share it with someone new.
It’s about chemistry, it’s about timing, it’s about the aligning of the stars. It’s about what you’re used to, what you expect, what you crave. It’s about what the caller brings to the PhoneSex table and where the Phone Sex Operator pulls up her chair. It’s about being a smart and savvy Phone Sex Shopper. It’s about understanding your own sexual fetishes and kinks and seeking out the girl who "gets you" and will make it happen for you in a most fantabulous way. It’s about reading between the lines — appreciating the clever nuances, cunning innuendo and inspired double entendres of a Phone Sex Diva’s web pages. It’s about shopping smart with a critical cock eye and choosing wisely.
It’s about I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together …
xo, Angela
Goo goo ga joob.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Hey! I didn’t say it. The fellow who typed it into Google’s search engine said it (see red text below). But I sure do wonder what he was specifically trying to hunt down. I dunno. Is there such a thing as a love bug in the animal kingdom? Was he looking for a hot and steamy twist on bestiality? Something like an 
