As I’ve said before, I really don’t pay that much attention to my stats here at Zen Fetish. Some who know me have oft said that there’s a bit of Scarlett O’Hara in me.  And I wouldn’t disagree.  If I’m in the right mood, I might even admit to a WHOLE LOTTA Scarlett.  Hey, it seems to work for me, so why fix what’s not broken.

But sometimes I do get around to checking out the Zen Fetish back office.  I really don’t know why I don’t do it more often, except for the fact that there is a whole lot of stuff on a daily basis vying for my attention.  And — fiddle dee dee! — isn’t observing and analyzing web site data someone else’s job?  Because it certainly isn’t mine.  While I do wear a lot of hats being the Phone Sex  Diva in charge of this rodeo, there are certain things which should ALWAYS be delegated, particularly if there are numbers and/or any kind of statistical analyzing involved. 

So my Curious Georges, wanna see? 

• small dick deep throat
• face slap
• mistress
• fetish phonesex
• cock tease
• mistress sissy
• cuckold types (and your type would be?)
  
• reasons for cock sucking
• Penis Whipping <evil grin>
• kinky phone sex (moi?)
  
• phone sex
• phonesex "angela"
• bdsm quotes for Mistress
• things to say to humiliate a small penis <batting eyelashes>
  
• small dick deepthroat
• humiliation small penis
• domina stern (she’s my buddy)
• phonesex, phone sex, adult chat
• renderings, bdsm
• slapping fetish (► oh my, did I say that?)
• high end phone sex
• sexy chat with girls
• cuckold types
• watch fetish
• deepthroat on small dick
• cuckold story archive
• humiliating hotwife
  
• femdom ageplay
• sneaker porn
• phone sex tips (► because I’m a know-it-all)
• penis punishment
• cock leash mistress (well, you would be more obedient)
• haircut fetish porn
• "fuck my cunt mouth"
• cross dresser for angela (‘cuz I likes ‘em)
• porn pocket books
• deep throating small dick
• penis punishment
• Penis slapping and orgasm denial
• face slaps sadomasochism
• small dick humiliation (now would I do that?)
  
• cuckold sad story (Don’t worry, Mister, it’s only a fantasy.)
• phonesex
• teasing handjob
• sneaker porn
• teenage cuckolds
• highendphonesex.com reviews ( … I dunno :-/ )
• erotic blackmail
• cuckold
• phonesex roleplay (check HERE)
• fetish video
• porn punishment
• submissive face slapping
• deep throat little cock
• office sex fantasy
• sexy girl
• "cock-leash conditioning" (of course I ALWAYS train cock)
• phone sex, fetish

When I do bother to look, I see a lot of the same stuff,  some of which I find either mundane ( perhaps I’m jaded?) or predictable, like the phone sex stuff.  Some things make me giggle; remember Cock-Sucking Love Bugs?  (Which, by the way,  still makes an appearance every once in a while.)  Some things confuse me. 

Such as …

Did you happen to notice the green text?  Huh?  What?  That phrase, deep throat small dick, which is frequently showing up (as you can see) in various constructs, just doesn’t make sense to me.  How does one deep throat an undersized penis?  How is that humanly possible?  Is it wishful thinking on the part of a secret society of er, um "under-endowed" gentlemen who’ve banded together in search of the girl whose tonsils they can tickle?  That sounds like a reasonable explanation, doesn’t it? Because little penises rarely get sucked, let alone have the opportunity — not to mention ability — to deep dive into a willing mouth.  I mean, after all, why would she?

Or …

Maybe it’s the same guy?   Day after, night after night … searching, searching, searching.  Tucking his sad little member between his thighs as he huddles over his keyboard and types away, jumping from Search Engine to Search Engine, scanning forums and chat rooms, continuously rearranging his verbiage.  She must be out there.  I just have to keep looking.  Somewhere there is a woman who can swallow my teenie weenie. Oh where, oh where is the midget girl with the thimble throat?

xo, Angela

Okay, so we’re almost done with this damnable long Labor Day weekend. A weekend that means absolutley nothing to me. Predictably, JewBoy is furious that I preferred to stay home working to his company. In other words:Talking Dirty with Deviant Intellectuals, Sissy Bois and my heterogeneous assortment of perverse and fair-haired super heroes. How could I? Why would I? Honestly, I just really don’t like picnics all that much. And, really fellas & readers …. you kinda-sorta should know that already. 

I went into the weekend not expecting to get a lot of calls, because most nine to fivers consider this the blowout of the year, what with their three-day weekend and all. But it has been fairly steady with my regulars, and the few die-hards and like-minded who are out and about looking for mischief. After all, "mischief" is my middle name. *wink* Elsewise, I’ve been luxuriating in the snail’s pace and quiet downtime the choice to stay home has afforded me. ahhhh. I mean, after all, one can never get enough reading under one’s belt, nor take too many bubble baths.

So if you’ve been ditching the potato salad and badminton this weekend for a walk ( or if you’re submissively inclined — a crawl) on the wild side, have I got a Phone Sex Girl a few CHOICE Phone Sex Girls for you. 

In their own words …

Strong Mistress

I was born to dominate and overpower weak boys and turn them into feminine whore sluts. I want to turn you into a FUCKWHORE that we both can be proud of, using ALL my experience as a GODDESS in your transformation! I WILL DO THAT, and MORE. I will dress you up, teach you feminine ways, and eventually, when I decide you are ready, WHORE you out. I can be a sensual MISTRESS, or a Strict, Strong and completely Controlling DOMME. This depends on my mood, your obedience, and how respectful you can be to ME.

Visit Strong Mistress at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 06-97-813

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Smart Fun Galiana

Curvy, Fun, Creative, and a little Geeky!  No bubble-headed bleached blonde here!  I’m happy to share my SAT scores, my IQ score and where I went to college.  You WON"t be disappointed!  I love sex and everything about it.  How it feels, how it tastes, how it smells, the emotions it causes, and that sweet blissed-out calm when everybody has had enough.  I wanna play with you, please you, give you what you want, and let you hear my big grin as we have fun together.  Come play with me!

Visit Smart Fun Galiana at NiteFlirt

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 94-63-253 

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~ 

Hypnotic Domme

Esoteric, erotic hypnosis.  Whether you seek the elusive floating escape that lies in deep hypnotic trance or a radical revamping of your behaviors, my irresistible voice will be your guide.  What I offer is REAL.  It is not rushed or faked.  I promise a cut above the usual — no more downward escalators.  I was once a hard-nosed skeptic myself, and I understand those who need a little more from inductions perfectly.  Try — and see.

Visit Hypnotic Domme at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 02-97-029-9

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Luscious Lyndee

Looking for a naughty girl that will stimulate your mind as well as your cock? Go no further, I have a very active and creative imagination; guaranteed to make you spew like the Fountain of Youth.  Everything your wife or girlfriend isn’t, that’s me!  You never imagined that a phone sex experience could be so satisfying!  Bring to me your hidden fantasies, most outrageous role plays, extreme fetishes …  let me take you to new heights in phone sex!

Visit Luscious Lyndee at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 05-36-731

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Arielle and You

One call and you will realize that you and I belong together. I will be the best friend and girlfriend you’ve always wanted yet knew deep down, you didn’t deserve. I am beautiful, sexy, and fun. You will love getting to know me.  Evenings, as you try to live your life, meet your obligations, you will find yourself distracted, your mind inevitably turning to me.  "Arielle, my beautiful Arielle. If only she didn’t have those perfect Breasts, those seductive green eyes, and the Ass of a Goddess."   I do, though, don’t I?

Visit  Arielle and You at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 03-05-103-5

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

So …

If you haven’t already  picked up the phone to call one of these Internet Divas, do yourself a favor and take the time to check out the linkage I’ve provided.  I really want you to do this, because I’m absolutely certain you will instantly recognize that these women truly are PHONE SEX GOLD.   Each one of these woman, in her own unique and inspired way, offers a high-shelf experience that will seduce and intoxicate you.  And then she will have her way with you.  

And …

Just in case you don’t believe me.  I have it on the highest authority — my very own savvy phone sex clientele — that each of these girls rock the world of Erotic Conversation.  My callers are demanding and discerning:  they want the best.  Trust them, trust me. 

Then …

Strap on your seat belt.  Or wiggle into your panties.  Or insert your butt plug.  Or put on your cock ring.  Or just do the old fashioned thing and get butt nekkid.  ‘Cuz  between you and me?  And them?  You’re in for one very hot time.

xo, Angela

Angela:

Here’s a birthday poem for my FAVORITE PSO.

Pervert Q. Savant

Literate Smut

I’m a normal old guy, you can just call me Tex
I live just outside Dallas, you can check all my specs!
Well, I saw this here ad about “Literate Sex.”

         And I thought, “What the hell, I’ll just pay my respects!”

The website said Angela was the lady’s first name
And the brainiest phone sex was her claim to fame
My dear wife was off at her weekly bridge game

    So I bought me five minutes (I’ve no sense of shame!)

I dialed up the number (It’s in the public domain!)
And advised Miss St. Lawrence about what pulled my chain
“I like dirty words. Thank you!! But no whips or pain!

         “Said she: “I knew it immediately. You’re an erotomane!”

I scratched at my head. It was a new word for me
It wasn’t there anywhere in my vocabulary.
Said I, “Are you giving me the third degree?”

         “Said she: “I screen all members of the bourgeoisie.”

That was another word that just didn’t engage
It made me uneasy about my genital stage
I wasn’t sure Angela was on my same page

    Said she, “I suspect that you might be a strange coprophage!”

I have to say now, that word took me aback
I’d never heard it before. But I cut her no slack. 
“Hell no!” I exclaimed.  “Don’t have a panic attack!”

    “Said she, “I may have to punish your petite scrotal sac.”

That was another term that just wasn’t my style!
It passed over my brain by a good nautical mile.
Said I, “If you’re a young babe we can talk for a while.”

    Said she: “Aha! So it seems you’re no gerontophile!”

Hearing these new words, they set me affright
Perhaps she was thinking I was no bright light
Said I:  “Let’s get to it! What’s in store for tonight?”

    Said she: “I was thinking of a hermaphrodite.”

Said I: “Let’s just you and I do it in the ‘missionary’!”
(See, “hermaphrodite” wasn’t in my dictionary)
“And don’t pair me up with no simperin’ fairy!”

    Said she:  “A succubus I know might like your cherry!”

“Sucking!” said I.  Yes!  That rings my bell!”
And I felt my member commencing to swell
My heart started pumping like an artesian well

    Said she: “Do you prefer a Monsieur or a Mademoiselle?”

But before I could answer she spun out a tale
About a big black something the size of a whale
That shot up my asshole like a Galveston gale

    Said she: “Succubi like to inhabit a male!”

Bucking and snorting, it left me with piles
It felt like my anus had been rubbed with steel files
When my five minutes ended, I was tired of her wiles

    Said she: “Don’t call me again!  I prefer bibliophiles!”

____________________________

Thanks, PQS!  And thanks to all the rest of  my sweet You Know Whos for the presents and emails.

xo, Angela

I’m just sayin ….

(Thanks to HDB for sending this.)