So what does a Phone Goddess do in between calls? Did you ever wonder? I can’t speak for others, but thought you’d like little peek into my particular type of day.

1. A.M: Pull hair under base-ball cap, don sweats, jog 5 miles.
2. Return, start coffee, take bubble bath.
3. Get a cup of java.
4. Turn on PC, check email, check never-ending “to-do” list.
5. Blow dry hair, dress in “power suit.” (T-Shirt Nightie and sockies).
6. Sign on to take calls.
7. Answer email.
8. Make bed and get another cup of java.
9. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Panty Worship)
10. Continue working on article for column at Sex Kitten.
11. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Humilation)
12. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Very Taboo)
13. Call Dell to order ink cartridges for printer.
14. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Forced Cock-Sucking)
15. Proofread story friend is writing, because I promised.
16. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Pain Slut)
17. Package courstesy panties and stockings for mailing to clients.
18. Send email to webmaster regarding updates and fixes.
19. Instant message with my buddy, Mistress V.
20. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Dominant Secretary)
21. Work on blog story for Blistered Lips.
22. Find bookmarked links which may be at AOL, IE or Foxfire.
23. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Strap-On)
24. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Foot Worship)
25. Email artist I am going to interview for Sex Kitten.
26. Work on story I am writing for Delia CD
27. Add story links to Blistered Lips
28. Add variety of links and new link categories to this blog.
29. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Sexual Hypnosis)
30. Work on updates for my professional website.
31. Google “Picasso” for essay I am writing for Sex Kitten.
32. Instant message with buddy, Mistress Danielle.
33. PHONE FANTASY CALL (Couple Domination)
34. 6 PM — Breaktime!
35. PHONE FANTASY CALL (3.5 hour appt. — Sissy Boy)
36. Enuff already! Time to rest. See Ya Tomorrow!

When I stop and remember, meditate, pray or whatever you want to call it, I am always amazed at the friends I’ve accumulated in spite of myself. I call them God’s Elves: These people who find their way — uninvited and unexpected — into my life and stick to me like bubblegum. Waltzing into my world and making themselves right at home; then continuing to stick around despite my slightly brittle demeanor, belligerent impatience, and intermittent self-absorption.

Maybe they love me for really trying instead of pretending to try. They might just see past the sassy, smart-assed woman to the little girl fumbling around behind the curtain. A better bet is that they know I’m just not as bad as I wish I were or would like them to think I am.

The miracle of it all is that they always seem to show up in the right place and just in the nick of time. Talk about being saved by the bell! And not once, but over and over again. Eventually, no matter how hard-headed a girl is, she will start paying attention. I did and I do.

It takes a lot of self-policing not to be small-minded or mean-spirited. I suspect that none of us can get it right every single time. Rationalization, righteous indignation and self-justification are such handy defense mechanisms that I probably don’t even notice when I’ve picked them up.

But I think of God’s Elves and keep on trying.