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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  CLICK HERE.

Archive for the 'phone sex' Category

Kinda-Sorta Like Princess Phone Sex

Thursday, December 11th, 2008

Sex Goddess

by Maggie Estep

I am THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
so don’t mess with me
I’ve got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can’t have any
’cause they’re all mine
’cause I’m
the SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

"Hey," you may say to yourself,
"who the hell’s she tryin’ to kid,
she’s no sex goddess,"
But trust me,
I am
if only for the fact that I have
the unabashed gall
to call
myself a SEX GODDESS,
I mean, after all,
it’s what so many of us have at some point thought,
we’ve all had someone
who worshipped our filthy socks
and barked like a dog when we were near
giving us cause
to pause and think: You know, I may not look like much
but deep inside, I am a SEX GODDESS.

Only
we’d never come out and admit it publicly
well, you wouldn’t admit it publicly
but I will
because I am
THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

I haven’t always been
a SEX GODDESS
I used to be just a mere mortal woman
but I grew tired of sexuality being repressed
then manifest
in late night 900 number ads
where 3 bodacious bimbettes
heave cleavage into the camera’s winking lens and sigh:

"Big Girls oooh, Bad Girls oooh, Blonde Girls oooh,
you know what to do, call 1-900-UNMITIGATED BIMBO ooooh."

Yeah
I got fed up with the oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
I got fed up with it all
so I put on my combat boots
and hit the road with my bag full of SEX TOYS
that were a vital part of my SEX GODDESS image
even though I would never actually use
my SEX TOYS
’cause my being a SEX GODDESS
it isn’t a SEXUAL thing
it’s a POLITICAL thing
I don’t actually have SEX, no
I’m too busy taking care of
important SEX GODDESS BUSINESS,
yeah,
I gotta go on The Charlie Rose Show
and MTV and become a parody
of myself and make
buckets full of money off my own inane brand
of self-righteous POP PSYCHOLOGY
because my pain is different
because I am a SEX GODDESS
and when I talk,
people listen
why ?
Because, you guessed it,
I AM THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
and you’re not.

***

She’s a most astute observer, this poetess Maggie Estep.  I giggled and giggled and giggled some more.  Bitchy would get the why of it.  So would a few readers.  

What?  I’m so glad you asked.  Yes,  there is a website.  And lots of books.  I’m kinda-sorta digging this anthology

And Ms. Estep likes dogs.  All good people should like dogs.  I like dogs.  Except … I’m just too pussy to step up to the responsibility.  Which explains Fredrick the Cross-Dressing Cat, who sleeps on my hip most nights. 

why?

because I AM A SEX GODDESS

and you’re not.

xo, Angela

A Soulful Christmas with James Brown

 

 

Phone Sex Sans Kink

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

So I finally saw my doctor Monday.  I wasn’t getting better — could barely talk, kinda-sorta sounded like Lauren Bacall.  And while some of you would find this incredibly sexy, most wouldn’t — thus, still not doing regular calls.  Anyway, I sounded so very bad when I called in the a.m., that the receptionist squeezed me in for an appointment that very day. 

So a few hours later I’m sitting up on that little table while the doc does her thing and gives me the dope.  Seems there’s a "bug" going around that just "holds on forever," and being viral in cause, it doesn’t respond to antibiotics.  But since I’d had this for two plus weeks, she decided I might have a secondary infection, compounded by stressed vocal cords from the exuberant coughing.  So she prescribed doxycycline hyclate and prednisone respectively.  I’m into the middle of my third day and things do seem to be clearing up.

In the meantime, when I’ve been feeling "up to it," I’ve taken a few short calls.  Those would be with guys who know I’ve been pretty sick and just want to kinda-sorta talk.  And don’t even want a kinky phone sex experience.  Imagine that!. 

Sweet Mr. Nerd would be one of those guys.  Being the sweet man he is, he indulged and coddled and commiserated — while I hacked and screeched and whined and pouted.  But, alas, all good things must come to and end.  And I suspect that in this case it was none too soon for Mr. Nerd.  So we’re winding down and he asks. "So what are your plans this week, dear Angela?"  I tell him that not much is going on except me drinking lots of fluids, eating even more chicken soup (thanks for the tidings and counsel, LUSCIOUS ONE) and religiously hunching over my  Vicks Personal Steam Inhaler.  Which I usually do while watching TV (very scary … this lowest common denominator ruling the airwaves).  Which reminds me … oh, and that I’m looking forward to seeing Sarah Palin interviewed on Larry King.

Ever benign and tender with my feelings, Mr. Nerd doesn’t tell me that it pains him to find the daily routine of his Phone Sex Goddess has been reduced to the hum drum.  He doesn’t tell me it saddens his heart (and perhaps softens his cock) that — forced by the necessity of illness — the highlight of my week just might be watching CNN. 

But he also happens to be a man of exceptional wit. 

So, without missing a beat, with nary a millisecond of hesitation, he answers (with tongue placed firmly in cheek): 

Goshhhh.  I hope she’s wearing leather.

Which just tickled my funny bone.  Because, between you and me, Mr. Nerd could care less what a gal is wearing.  He needs no paraphernelia, no idee fixes — leather, feathers, fishnet or otherwise — to be extremely hot and always sexy.   Thanks, Mr. Nerd, for being a stand up guy.  And standing by.  I owe you.

xo, Angela

… oh, and I may be able to work tomorrow.  Not sure yet, but I am starting to feel better and sound better.  So maybe … just maybe.

The Reality of Fantasy

Friday, November 7th, 2008

The Reality of Fantasy:  A Phone Sex Poem

The Call

 by Kim Addonizio

A man opens a magazine,
women with no clothes,
their eyes blacked out.
He dials a number,
hums a commercial
under his breath. A voice
tells him he can do
anything he wants to her.
He imagines standing her
against a wall, her saying
Oh baby you feel so good.
It’s late. The woman
on the phone yawns,
trails the cord to the hall
to look in on her daughter.
She’s curled with one
leg off the couch.
The woman shoulders the receiver,
tucks a sheet and whispers
Yes, do it, yes.
She drifts to the kitchen,
opens another Diet Pepsi, wonders
how long it will take him and where
she can find a cheap winter coat.
Remembering the bills,
she flips off the light.
He’s still saying Soon,
turning his wheelchair right,
left, right. A tube runs down
his pants leg. Sometimes
he thinks he feels something,
stops talking to concentrate
on movement down there.
Hello, the woman says.
You still on?
She rubs a hand over her eyes.
Blue shadow comes off on her fingers.
Over the faint high hiss
of the open line
she hears the wheels knock
from table to wall.
What’s that, she says.
Nothing, he tells her,
and they both
listen to it.

***

So don’t ever tell me that what I do doesn’t matter.  Because it does — and it’s the lucky PSO who knows this and honors it.

Lucky for us, Ms. Addonizio has a lovely and bountiful website.

Thanks to my sweetie, PQS, for sending this my way.  You know I adore you, don’t you?

xo, Angela

(if you’re wondering why I’m not taking calls, I’ve been quite ill with a respiratory infection … trying to get better and missing you much)

 

Wicked Fetish

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Can fetishes be wicked? I certainly hope so.  Isn’t the inherent wickedness associated with a fetish what makes it feel so damn good?  The business of Phone Sex and FemDom Phone Sex and Kinky Phone Sex is more or less fetish-oriented and fetish-inspired.  So it stands to reason I would be a big believer in fetish.  I mean, after all, it’s my bread and butter.

Even so,  I would argue that there is a "good" kind of wicked and a "bad" kind of wicked when talking about fetish.  Good wicked is something I believe in, promote whole-heartedly and stand behind with a bit of professional integrity and a bunch of personal enthusiasm. It’s a time-out for good boys and girls, a time out to be dirty and nasty, as bad as you want to be … just for a little while.  I say, have at it boys and girls:  Don those plastic pants, lick those steel stilettos, insert that rectal thermometer, sniff those panties, lace up that corset, rub your face into those PVC-covered breasts, drag that stiff prick along the seams of those cuban-heeled nylons.

BUT then there is the "bad" kind of wicked, which is when a fetish becomes too important — so much so that sexual excitement is not even possible without the fetish in play. I call it getting "fetished out," and I’ve actually seen this in action on more than one occasion.

Technically — or at least in the past — fetishes have always been attached to physical objects: high heels, balloons, leather, latex, feathers, stockings, panties, cigarettes, gloves. I’ve even heard of someone having a crayon fetish.  Fairly recently, the definition of "fetish" kind of naturally expanded to include non-tangible things that turn us on (i.e. specific phraseology, pornography, certain sexual positions, particular body parts, unusual sexual acts). One could be said to have a fetish for anal fisting or erotic hypnosis or for women of Asian ethnicity (aka Yellow Fever).  

There are even fetishes for what I do:  Narratophilia and Telephonicophilia.  And while I could, in my own interest, justify these as always "good" wicked fetishes, I wouldn’t.  Because, dear readers, callers and commenters and emailers, it is a matter of — as I said earlier — getting "fetished out."  So if you call me and it is your way of being good to yourself now and again, well I think would be a "good" fetish.  Then again, if you’re calling compulsively or putting at risk things and people who matter just to call me — oh, oh!  Not good and very possibly a "bad" fetish.

(And, before I go on, just let me say here — right up front — I never met a man with a shoe fetish (hopefully, a very bad shoe fetish) I didn’t like.  And I’d even consider marrying him if he promised to love, honor, obey and buy me shoes, shoes shoes … to my heart’s content.   *wink*)

Not surprisingly (consider this blog’s title), I believe that most people (men and women)  have some kind of kink that they are either secretly harboring or exercising at will, and I think most men have some type of fetish-y thing going on.  It might be something as mild as having one’s nipples teased or a thing for long hair. It could be seeing a woman dressed in leather or latex or sexy lingerie.  Or seeing a sultry MILF smoke.  Some fetishes are admittedly a bit off the beaten path, such as a Giantess Fetish (Macrophilia) or a Balloon Fetish (aficionados are referred to as "looners.")  And then there are the really "far out" fetishes such as mysophilia (being aroused by mud and filth) or necrophilia (yup, sex with the dead).

I think it’s fair to say that these days the words "kink" and "fetish" are used pretty much interchangeably.  The good thing about this is that the stigma once associated with fetishes has somewhat lost its sting.   With the Internet kinda-sorta shoving kink into the spotlight early on (see Vanilla Mythology, wherein I quoted a college student I was tutoring: These days, if you’re not kinky, people think you’re weird), fetishes have pretty much gotten the green light.

So just how does a  good fetish become a bad fetish?   I’m glad you asked.  And in answer,  I will tell you a little story:

Once upon a time in the not so distant past I worked for a Phone Sex company. It was their company, their rules.  Therefore, I was not Angela — no real names permitted in Fantasy Land.  But, if you called asking for Tori the Shemale or Cuckolding Maria or Goddess Diana or Lucinda the Slutty Divorcee or Innocent Annie or Lactating & Pregnant Hermaphrodite Felicity  or Humiliatrix Nadine – due to cutting-edge software — the dispatcher easily discerned that Angela was your girl and hooked us right up. 

There happened to be a gentlemen, whom we shall refer to as Mister Master, who called regularly to dominate my character, Submissive Sabrina.    Mister Master was quite interesting.  He’d spent quite a few years feeding his kink for dominating women and indulging his particular fetishes.  As an adolescent boy scout learning the Butterfly Knot and the Halyard Bend he was secretly imagining himself binding and gagging beautiful girls.  As a teenager he actually got to practice some rudimentary domination tactics with a few of his dates. 

He finally settled down and got married to a  young beauty (I saw her pics) and was delighted to find that his new wife was willing to play along.  Mr. Master considered himself very lucky that he was able to satisfy his any whim and basically gorged on a daily diet of kink and fetish.

Over time, Mr. Master’s fetishes became varied and many.  Red lipstick, sexy lingerie and fuck-me-pumps were soon de rigeur for any marital coquetry.  Then Mr. Master discovered ball gags … bright red ball gags.  And, oh, he liked them a lot.  After that came dildo gags, gags that caused drooling, inflatable gags … gags!  gags!  and more gags!

Because the gags made him so hot, Mr. Master decided he wanted to "hear" the Missus gag.  And so he would "throat fuck" her.  This would sometimes make her whimper, which made him even hotter.  He wanted more.  He wanted to make her whimper and beg and cry.  So he experimented with clothespins and nipple clamps.  Then paddles and whips and canes.

Then the matter of ropes became all-important and Mr. Master began suspending the Missus from banisters, then rafters, then even trees.  And this went on and on and on. 

Until …

(things start happening rather quickly here, so pay attention)

Mr. Master got gluttonous. Oh yes he did.

He was having such a good time with the always ready, willing and able Missus, that he decided two submissive women would surely be more fun than one and easily convinced the Missus to give it a try.  And, like the infinitely resourceful junkie who can be always get his next fix, Mr. Master soon found a couple willing to "play."  And so the twosome became a foursome.  Unfortunately, the foursome didn’t last so long.  Because — much to everyone’s surprise — the Missus ran off with the the Mister from the other couple.  Ouch! 

And Mr. Master became single again.  Single and kinky — seriously kinky.  He also happened to be — due to career requirements — living in a rather isolated part of the world.  Yes, there were women to date.  There just wasn’t the large and varied "assortment" he’d experienced his first time around.  So he dated.  He dated and danced and saw movies and went for walks and held hands.  He rented DVDs,  went down to the pond to feed the ducks, took moon-lit drives under star-filled skies. 

He did all that and all the other dating things people who are dating do.

Except fuck. 

Because Mr. Master — kinda-sorta living a dominant’s dream-come-true all those years — had forgotten the basics.  He’d forgotten how to fuck.  It just didn’t do anything for him. 

And thus, Mr. Master began calling me.  Or I should say Submissive Sabrina.  And the sweet and idolizing Submissive Sabrina would give Mr. Master exactly what he needed.  I’d groan and whimper and beg for mercy. I would describe my sexy black stockings and hot pink garter belt.  I’d hit my hot water bottle and tell him I was spanking my ass just for him.  I’d pretend to tie myself up according to his exact instructions.  I’d put my fist in my mouth and talk around it, telling him how bright red the ball gag was.  I’d jingle the old dog collar I kept in the bedstand  and tell him I was cuffing my ankles for him. 

Well, that was then and this is now.  Mr. Master is now my friend and knows the real deal.  When I started my own business, I fessed up.  He took it very well.  And Mr. Master is in love with a woman … has even moved into her place.  And he has gotten to the point where he can perform intercourse with her.  But he confides that he rarely orgasms with her and still begs to do "sex" calls with me.  "You’re the best.  You always were the best," he tells me over and over.

And I wasn’t even real.

So that is what I would call a WICKED FETISH GONE BAD.  i.e. Fetished Out

Wouldn’t you?

xo, Angela

James Joyce: Articulate Filth

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

To NORA

Dublin   2 December 1909

My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse, glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair. It allows me to burst into tears of pity and love at some slight word, to tremble with love for you at the sounding of some chord or cadence of music or to lie heads and tails with you feeling your fingers fondling and tickling my ballocks or stuck up in me behind and your hot lips sucking off my cock while my head is wedged in between your fat thighs, my hands clutching the round cushions of your bum and my tongue licking ravenously up your rank red cunt. I have taught you almost to swoon at the hearing of my voice singing or murmuring to your soul the passion and sorrow and mystery of life and at the same time have taught you to make filthy signs to me with your lips and tongue, to provoke me by obscene touches and noises, and even to do in my presence the most shameful and filthy act of the body. You remember the day you pulled up your clothes and let me lie under you looking up at you while you did it? Then you were ashamed even to meet my eyes.

You are mine, darling, mine! I love you. All I have written above is only a moment or two of brutal madness. The last drop of seed has hardly been squirted up your cunt before it is over and my true love for you, the love of my verses, the love of my eyes for your strange luring eyes, comes blowing over my soul like a wind of spices. My prick is still hot and stiff and quivering from the last brutal drive it has given you when a faint hymn is heard rising in tender pitiful worship of you from the dim cloisters of my heart.

Nora, my faithful darling, my seet-eyed blackguard schoolgirl, be my whore, my mistress, as much as you like (my little frigging mistress! My little fucking whore!) you are always my beautiful wild flower of the hedges, my dark-blue rain-drenched flower.

JIM

****

Who knew that Mr. Joyce was such a randy, dirty scamp?  And why didn’t my Lit. Prof (damn Jesuit Catholic wench) assign this collection of letters (yes, I have more … stay tuned)  instead of Dubliners and A Portrait of a Young Man as Artist … both of which put me to sleep more than once.  Or instead of Ulysses, which made absolutely no sense to me or my fellow classmates no matter how many times we were told it was "great literature."  If I were feeling better, I’d do some surfing to revisit all that stuff and perhaps revise my critical opinion.  Since I’m not feeling so hot (I have a cold … boo hoo, poor me), maybe Pervert Savant or Vanilla Savant will call and give me the lowdown in the next couple of days.

You can read more about Joyce at Wikipedia and then check out the very pretty James Joyce Centre.

OMG!  He was bonking the chambermaid.  And her last name was Barnacle. Which explain why he didn’t write odes and sonnets to her.  What rhymes with "barnacle," after all?

xo, Angela

PS:  as you might have gathered — because I feel like crap and also do not want to be hacking into your ear right at the critical point *wink, wink* — no worky-worky for me.  And unless you call Isabella, The Luscious One or Abby Licks or Mistress Rayne … no phone sex for you.  If you do call any of my phone sex buddies, take it from me:  you will have an absolutely-tutely divine experience.  If you don’t make the call and need a bit of visual stimuli, then here’s a bunch of dirty pictures.

Special Thanks and 128 kisses (no more, no less) to Sweat Shop Sissy, who seems to always have my back … and certainly my deepest affection.

Tickling Pink and Fancy

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

I never know what is going to tickle your fancy.  I write.  Sometimes I show you a dirty picture or hook you up with (what I think is) interesting linkage.  I rant and rave and even tell jokes or give you the inside dope on the Phone Sex business.  I observe.  I share my love for poetry … and I’m tickled pink that you seem to like it too or at least give it a fair shake before turning up your nose.  I guess you could say that  I get around and you happily hold tightly onto my skirt tails.  And off we go!

But today it’s just you and me, baby:  us or we, he and she.  Reiterating a bit here about the Phone Sex Fantasies and FemDom Adventures I create time and again … for you, me and those other guys.  How about I answer the oft-asked question:  Why all the mystery, Angela?  No face pics or selling pussy pictures and that kind of stuff?  For two reasons.  First, because I believe you’re smart enough to know better.  And secondly, because I don’t try to to cheat you with bought content, nor pretend to be either the oh-so-parochial "Lifestyle Domme" or the "Barely Legal Princess" who happens to have the Lauren Bacall voice.  I don’t have a zillion different personae so that I can cash in on every possible slant of kink.  I am me:  a real girl living my version of the American Dream.  All you really need to know (at least to start out with)  is that I’m not a paper doll, am as normal as you are in your daily life and am experienced enough to bring a sophisticated, informed and somewhat unique (some would say quirky) slant to this Phone Sex thing. 

Besides, I think a little bit of mystery happens to be a very good thing.  Don’t you?

My job — at least the way I see it — is to bring YOUR FANTASY (not your reality … you can get plenty of that by just opening your eyes every morning) to full fruition, at least for the the little bit of time we share together.  Ya know, I don’t always star in the Phone Sex Fantasies I create.   Sometimes I have a minor role and sometimes I just watch the kink unfold and give you the blow-by-blow.  It’s really on a call-by-call basis, with our chemistry creating the game plan. 

So let me tell you about this guy who called a few days back.  It was one of those calls that creep me out so much that I just want to unplug the phone, put on my PJs and watch Turner Classic Movies all day.  So this guy starts out by asking me what I like.  NOT A GOOD FIRST QUESTION!  What I like is not relevant.  Besides, I have enough of an Internet Presence that speaks very clearly to my particular bent.   When someone asks a PSO that question, it’s like he’s forcing her into a pop quiz of sorts, only he is the only one who knows the correct answer and if you are wrong …  HONK!  You lose.  On to the next girl.

So I try to explain that I like a lot of things, but what we come up with together is what will create the real spark.  He presses, I dance and use my wiley charms in an attempt to pursuade him against this line of questioning.  He still presses.  So I tell him a bit more about my experience of working a Phone Sex job throughout my college education and explain how much exposure that gave me to a wide variety of fetishes and kinks, and that I actually do surprise even myself even now with some new or different sexual scenario that will pop up out of the blue and catch my proletariat fancy for a day or week or even a few months until it’s replaced or put on the shelf to be pulled out again at a later date.

Well this guy just won’t give up.  His next question is:  What did you do for real while you were in college?

Now I’m starting to get that creepy-crawler feeling.  Here is a guy who’ve I just met via the telephone, we’ve spoken for less than five minutes, and he wants to jerk his dick to stories about what a slut I was in college?  Fuck that!  He’s a frickin’ parasite, pure and simple.  And while those of you who’ve gotten to know me over the course of a few calls do learn a bit about my personal experiences, this weenie head — who I’m beginning to detest intensely — doesn’t get that privilege.

But I’m a trooper, so I try one last time:  Listen, Mr. X, this call is not about me, it’s about you and what you’re into.

Finally, Dumbo is frustrated enough that he says:  I think I’m going to call somebody else.

And — you betcha — I am mighty pissed:  I think that is an excellent idea.

And I slammed the phone down.  Yes, I hung up on him, which is something I rarely do.  And you know what?  It felt good.  The only thing better would have been if I could have reached through the phone and put him into The Humbler.   Hmmm … just thinking about it makes me hot.  Maybe even add a nice bit of castration to the mix … that will teach him!

But enough of that.  What I really started out wanting to say is that the fact that you keep coming around, tickles me pink.  And the very fact that you are continuing to stay tuned, call and write means I am tickling your fancy.  Just the way I am — real girl, not paper doll — you get me, appreciate me and even like me.  And that’s my blessing. 

Thanks, guys!

xo, Angela