You know what they say:

These men may jerk from sun to sun.

But my dirty words are never done.

…or something like that.

Which is to say that I put in a very long day on the phones and am very tired. Plus, I need to get to bed soon, so I am up in time for my dental appointment. (No worries, just a regularly scheduled cleaning.) But, before tucking myself in, I wanted to drop by and check in with all of you.

Have you been good? Or are you one of the bad boys who called me today. Of course that means you can blame all of your misbehavior and dirty deeds on me. So you’re off the hook. At least until the next time.

Soooo…

Best Blog Ever: Don To Earth Is this just not the coolest? Oh; to sit at his feet and listen to his stories, to take in all the wisdom he has to share. (Thanks to E. for linking me.)

I wrote a new poem, thirst.

But before that I wrote something very dirty.

And just let me say this about advertising: It is way out of control and they are sticking it to us every where we breathe. I am so incredibly amazed at the audacity which is now accepted as the norm, wherein television stations shove ads constantly down our throats even when we are in the middle of watching a show by running banners across the bottom of the screen during the entire half hour or hour. I mean, aren’t the commercials in between enough? Does everything have to be a “selling opportunity” that simply can’t be passed up?

Bravo –a station I simply adore for its gay-supportive broadcasting and because it is where I watch my beloved Inside the Actors Studio– is one of the worse offenders. But they have us by the proverbial balls, if we are fans of Tom Colicchio, Tim Gunn (yes, you can buy me his book..I’m dying to read it) and Jackie Warner (Sizzzzzzle!). So I am putting up with it, but pouting and grousing nonetheless.

Which, in my roundabout way, brings me to this: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List rocks! For this show alone, even if all the aforementioned shows were not available on Bravo, I would still give in and watch. You have to see her to believe her. Tonight she actually went on a date with Ron Jeremy. And he was the perfect gentleman, dontcha know? But then, I knew he would be.

Oh, and: This and that about this and that.

One more thing: New Millennium Phone Sex

Can I go to bed now, daddy?

xo, Angela

I won’t be around for the entire day and evening. Going gambling with my mother earlier and have tentative plans for later in the day. So just a few random notes.

Mistress V has redesigned her entire site and it is simply scrumptious. Even though the new site is totally different she managed to incorporate purple, which happens to be (you should know this) her favorite color. She is also available for both long distance and real time slave training. So, if you are the submissive type, you simply must scurry right over there and check out every single thing. Make sure to take a peek at her very generous gallery for insight into her very real dominant nature, her beauty, and her humor.

Over at The Edge of Vanilla it seems that Tom nominated this blog with a very special award, The Thinking Blogger Award a while back and while simply overwhelmed with the honor, I’ve been remiss in following up.  In accepting it, I am supposed to nominate five other bloggers whom I think are worthy of the award.  The problem is that I have so many friends and colleagues blogging I don’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings by leaving them out.  So I’ve finally decided not to nominate anybody else and selfishly keep the plaque. Because I am an ego maniac with low self esteem. Not to mention passive-aggressive, anal retentive and a product of this modern Prozac Nation.

Richard, our cherished and adored Submissive Savant has started a new forum, Fetish Lore, where a group of mighty fine and high-thinking kinksters have decided that they’re “not going to take in anymore” and are about the business of killing kink cliches one by one. If you have kinky fantasies, curious fetishes, or a desire to dominate and/or be dominated, you might want to pop on over there. Members like Goddess Alexandra, Mistress 160, Vanilla Edge Tom, and many others are keeping it real, interesting and fun. It’s a very positive place and Richard welcomes anybody with an honest desire to interact and explore.

So…will you miss me? You better.

And keep your finger crossed. If I win, dinner is on me.

xo, Angela

…is what I will be doing tomorrow all day.

For those of you who don’t know, my mother is in a wheelchair and gambling is just her most favorite activity, carried over from before she got sick. Even if I had to beg, borrow or steal the money we use for our (warm weather) monthly outing, I would find a way to get my mother to the casino. If that is all it takes to keep her happy, who am I to grumble or deny her?

Here’s the rub: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this to you before, but I was a closet smoker for quite a few years. And I have to say that I loved everything about it. Unfortunately, once I started working from home with my own business, it was much too easy to light one up at will and things were starting to get a bit out of control. Well, I quit a few months back and in ten days I will have been five months smoke free.

This has been hard at times, but not as hard as it could have been because of two things: 1. Lots of snow kept me homebound many days this winter, removing me from temptation’s way. 2. Smoking in public places was outlawed here last year. So I managed to get this far without cheating even once. Although there are days….. But, the main point is that I haven’t. I just haven’t picked one up even when the craving was intense.

So, guess what? Casinos are exempt from this law! Yowza! And if you’ve been to a casino, you know as well as I do that fat people, ugly people, bad dressers and chain smokers make up the majority of gamblers frequenting these rectories of iniquity. Just in case, I picked up some fake herb cigarettes. They happen to absolutely suck, but may keep me out of trouble if the need starts grabbing at me.

Now it is supposed to rain tomorrow. But you should know by now that I simply love rain. I really do. So that would just make the day better for me. In fact, much better.

Now if you’re wondering what we do up there: Well, we are girls and she is in the wheelchair…so we keep it simple and play poker machines and slots. I’m particularly fond of a slot machine that has this happy smiley face guy come out now and then to announce a bonus game. Another slot, The Price is Right, is a bunch of fun, featuring the voice of (now deceased) Rod Roddy and video versions of Plinko, Punch a Bunch, and the Dice Game. And yes you get to spin the wheel and bid on showcases.

Mostly, I leave the picking of the machines up to Momma since it is more or less her day.

But I will come home having either blown my wad or won big. I mean what’s the fun of it otherwise?

So keep your fingers crossed and wish me well.

xo, Angela

Although today’s entry does not refer to kinky, weird sex–it sure looks that way, doesn’t it? So a few words before I move onto what this is really about:

Whether or not it’s your particular cup of T (as in Taboo), some men (perhaps women–they’re not my client demographic so I wouldn’t know), incorporate a surprising variety of animals into their sexual fantasies. It’s not about the beast, mind you. It’s about the dirtiness of it all.

So that in fantasy…they can push themselves beyond the edge of filthiness and straight into deviant perversion, having an exquisitely intense orgasm. In real life…the same idea is usually beyond repugnant to them. Thank goodness. More often than not, they will be the first to report an instance of animal neglect, cruelty or abuse.

While some fantasies may be outside of my comfort zone, I do respect and support a person’s right to fantasize about any thing they damn well please. If they are smart enough to keep fantasy separate from reality–and most are–then, by all means, have at it.

So now you know. Probably more than you wanted to know. Let’s move on.

***

What I really wanted to bring up: Planet Earth (And, yes, that is a link so be sure to click it.) If you haven’t caught up with this series yet, you really are missing out. Personally speaking, I am seriously hooked. Airing on The Discovery Channel and narrated by Sigourney Weaver, this eleven part, environmentally reverent documentary is living up to the preliminary buzz, proving to really be as mesmerizing as it is educational.

Due to advancements in technology (including satellite photography and high definition production) and the producers’ commitment to quality (“more than five years in the making”) viewers are privy to natural wonders rarely or never before seen. Have you ever seen a snow leopard stalking his prey through the dangerous crags and steep slopes of the Himalayas? Did you know that a cross between a donkey and a zebra is correctly referred to as either a zonkey or a zebrass?

There is so much to see and learn from watching this series that I cannot possibly do it justice within the scope of this blog. From an underwater glimpse of swimming elephants to a peek at male birds of paradise strutting their stuff to attract a female (some things never change, eh?), everything is vividly spectacular, beautiful and overwhelming.

If you can’t catch the series or even if you can–new episodes air Sunday nights with repeats during the week–you can order the DVD set which includes a bonus installment, The Future.

Prepare to be amazed. And moved to save our beloved and threatened planet…before it is too late.

xo, Angela

Just a little bit of stuff:

Well, I totally lost Pervert Savant’s next installment of Lingerie on the Razor-Wire. And at the most inopportune time as his PC is fried and he can’t get into his documents to rescue it from his own files to resend to me. We are working on a solution. Which just might be him forgiving me enough to rewrite the entire thing from memory.

***

I finally found a new physician and had scheduled an appointment for yesterday so that I could finally get some help with my allergies. I’d been wanting to change doctors and so had put this off for a while and was really looking forward to it. All ready to go, I went to leave and couldn’t find my keys. The minimum-wage phone-bitch who took my crazed and frustrated call was not sympathetic and even seemed a bit miffed. So FUCK HER. Now I need to find another new doctor.

***

My cable bill runs around $130.00 per month. I figure at that price, I should be able to turn on my television anytime of the day or night and be able to find something to watch. So why do I have to put up with info-infomercials on almost every station when I wake up in the middle of the night? I mean, come on! How much money do these people need?

***

If you get a chance you simply must check out South Park this week to see Fantastic Easter Special. Even after all this time, the writers are edgy, topical and just downright hilarious. No race, religion, person or idea is safe: anything or anybody is fair fodder for their gleeful and bloody skewering. This time religion gets its panties twisted in an episode ala The Da Vinci Code. What is the mystery behind the tradition of coloring easter eggs? What clues are hidden in The Last Supper? What is the “Hare” Club for Men and what is its mission?

***

One more thing. Even if you’re not a Nicholas Cage fan (and I’m not), you really should own a copy of Adaptation. And here is why.

xo, Angela