But we knew that, didn’t we?

The deal: There is this “thing” that bloggers do which I believe — don’t quote me on this — ends up propagating more traffic to our individual blogs, wherein a blogger creates what is known as an Intenet meme, AKA as a royal pain in the gluteus maximus. (read all about it).

The latest meme making the rounds: Ten Oddball Things About Me.

And I have been tagged to make this list about myself by not one, but two of my good friends (at least I think) and blogger-compatriots…

Slip of a Girl (pssst…here’s a secret I’m telling just you and only you: Slip of a Girl is about to become the first FEMALE Zen Savant) and Richard of Down on my Knees and many other cool places.

Ready? Let’s get this bit of silliness over with.

The Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you can’t be retagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 more people to torture (er…tag…Louise said tag) and post a note telling them they’re tagged and make them come along and read your blog.

1. I wear socks, usually white, in lieu of slippers around the house. Since I work from home, this means I buy lotsa socks. (Hint: Always a good present.)
2. I do believe I may be addicted to brushing my teeth. I just groove on the entire process and use three (sometimes four) different items when doing my super routine (which occurs simultaneously with my super bath).
3. I sleep with my bedroom window wide open and the heat down. In the morning I close the bedroom window and turn up the heat. One of the benefits of not being married is that nobody bitches at me for this.
4. I have at least one pair of scissors in every room of my home. The kitchen and bathrooms have more than one pair. Plus their is a pair in both my sewing basket and purse.
5. My bath towels are white. So are the hand towels. So are the wash cloths. So are the bathroom rugs. No exceptions.
6. When I was in third grade a teacher accused me of copying a story I’d written for an assignment. She did this in front of the entire class. I was humiliated. To this day I hate her. I fantasize about finding her and grabbing her collar and spitting in her face, then telling her: “My name is Angie and I am all grown up now. And you know what, bitch? I wrote the fucking story. I wrote it all by myself.”
7. As dominant and twisted and kinky as I am when I do calls…I am rather shy and conservative when it comes to sex in my personal life. That is until I get to know and trust you. Then watch out.
8. I enjoy lesbian erotica and even masturbate to it. Yet, I am not attracted to women in my every day life. Hmmm….
9. I really don’t like porn. Which surprises a lot of people, since I deal in dirty fantasies on a daily basis. I guess that is because a lot of stuff is fun to think about and looks real pretty (can get me hot) when I imagine it, but seems pretty ugly as a reality.
10. I am a dog person. But I have a cat. A cross-dressing cat. Maybe I’m punishing him for not being a dog?

Part 2: Ten More Victims

Bloggers:

Mistress Sky (‘cuz she’s cool)
Luscious Lyndee
Mistress V
Isabella Valentine
Kylie (a new friend)
Madame Dearest
Kat, the Courtesan (cuz I miss her)
Porno Person

Resident Savants (via comment section):

Vanilla Savant
Pervert Savant

I’ve been the good girl, done the right thing, been a team player and all that jazz. I am SOOOO outta here.

Angela

Oh…and another thing? The next person who drags me into something like this? I will secretly sign you up for an Amway Distributorship. It won’t be pretty.

That is if I am the one doing the slapping.

And if it is part of a BDSM/Humiliation fantasy/role-play/scene.

Like I say about a lot of things, Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

You can bet that smacking a whimpering sub, particularly in public, will set the tone immediately and there will be absolutely no argument as to who is boss. And I like being the boss.

And I happen to love humiliation play. Don’t look so shocked. I hate when you do that. Yes, I am smart and sweet and cute and all those nicety-nice adjectives you like to string before your elevated thoughts of me. But, as I once noted, Erotic Humiliation is Not an Oxymoron. (Tell me where you heard that before and get either a 1/2 price call or a free book by a friend of ours.)

What got me thinking about this today was reading our celebrated and esteemed Submissive Savant’s blog entry, Face Slapping as Erotic Play, which was actually an expansion upon an earlier entry, Face Slapping. Seems the original piece was still garnering questions and comments and Richard deemed it less messy to just begin the discussion anew.

Which goes to show that…contrary to what many a wanna-be princess promotes (disrespect and/or disregard for a slave’s intellect and humanity is plantation behavior, not Goddess behavior), being brilliant and being submissive are not mutually exclusive and is why Richard is the official Submissive Savant of Zen Fetish. Just ask Alexandra: Smart submissives make the most reverent and obedient pets. And as Richard notes, “a person can enjoy being humiliated in erotic play space without that bleeding over into the rest of his life.”

Which goes to show that…face slapping as a form of Dom/sub play is more popular than one might first assume.

Which goes to show that…I am neither predictable nor run-of-the-mill and never will be. So quit trying to figure me out. If family & friends, a therapist and more than a few ex-boyfriends cannot manage the task, why should you be so lucky?

Anyway, back to the face slapping.

Yvonne had stopped by and was wondering why a man would enjoy being slapped, which is a perfectly understandable inquiry, dontcha think? Didn’t you have a similar question? Richard, being a submissive man of exquisite desires, responded that, “Surprise: there’s huge psychological impact when you don’t expect it. That fits in ideally with punishment. At times I like being found at fault and chastised.”

I would just add that from a (phone fantasy) Mistress perspective, the psychological impact is, indeed, a thing of beauty. Both Top and Bottom, Mistress and Slave, Dominant and Submissive should be having a heck of a lot of fun when participating in Erotic Face Slapping. Otherwise, somebody has got something terribly wrong.

For me, the experience is on the verge of being intoxicating. And I don’t say that lightly. There is an imagined suspension of safety, of boundaries desecrated that makes it absolutely transcending. I would think a good Domina –phone or real time– would feed off of her slave’s reaction to her slap, upping the ante for both of them.

What do you think? Mistress Sky? HDB? Lyndee? David C.? Mr. Allen? PQS? Mr. Smith? Richard? Mistress V? Puzzler? Is anybody home?

And if you want to read All You Wanted to Know About Erotic Face Slapping but Were Afraid to Ask Richard and Entourage, be sure to follow the above linkage. It is, after all, where the BDSM cognoscenti are apt to be found on any given day.

xo, Angela

Yes, I am cranky at times. But you do so love me, dontcha? Just admit it; you know that you do.

The above button was sent by my sister (I have more…just you wait.), once again from her intra-office email. Because what else is corporate America doing these days but playing on the internet? We who work on the net don’t find the silliness of email play quite so fascinating.  In fact emails can be quite a royal pain.

So what might a naughty & nice gal like myself have to be cranky about? Well…

• Foxfire, which is usually awesome and I highly recommend as your browser of choice, actually lost all my bookmarks. I was furious and in a panic, as I tend to get with technical fuck-ups. But a good geek boy fixed it for me. (Thanks!)
• I gave away way too much money recently –Christmas, don’t you know?– and I just checked my bank balance. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
• More snow tomorrow. (Dear God: Enough with the snow already! It was a nice touch for the holidays, but I’ve got places to go and people to see.)
• I figured out how to replace my ink cartridges in my printer only to have the stupid thing start telling me there was a paper jam and there wasn’t. I swear there wasn’t. That one just about did me in. But it is better now. Thanks again to good geek boy.
• I want a new car and a new condo. Girls who want such big ticket items need to learn to save their money rather than giving it away. I’m trying.

But I have lotsa good stuff happening too…and I happen to have a very appreciative heart despite my whining. I am gifted in that I can be cranky and happy at the same time.

And speaking of being gifted: As far as gifts went, I had the best Christmas since my childhood. And I do have awesome friends. Richard, Deviant Savant, Mistress V and Lyndee are just a few who come to mind.

And then there are my beloved callers who are just so fucking smart and downright adorable. I do believe that I have the cream of the crop when it comes to clientele. Just look at the commentary here at my blog. And they always say the nicest, sweetest things about me.

And I have a new hairdo which is simply fab!

***

By the way. Luscious Lyndee has been a very busy girl lately. She has a totally redesigned site, which you can see my clicking the above link. She also has recorded two fantasies which sound pretty interesting. I just might listen myself. You can find them here. But the biggest news is her new website, Pink Panty Cafe for sissies and panty boys. Make sure to check it out and visit often if you thrill to the idea of dressing up for a Mistress or lover or even a group of mean girls.

And if you are a PSO or owner/operator of an adult site looking for a talented, committed and creative webmaster to design your website, blog or even help you with HTML, check out Designs by Lovies. She is the wunderkind who took Lyndee’s ideas and brought them to fruition.

I am off to bed. Wish me sweet dreams. Or at least a few dirty ones.

xo, Angela

….and you’re not. (Such is your fortune when loving a Phone Sex Domina who is in the middle of seasonal inanity, don’t ya know?)

Kidding aside, I would, of course, be referring to Santa Claus. And I’m way behind schedule. Which shouldn’t surprise you. I’ve certainly adjusted to the roller coaster that is my life, so you might as well jump on board for the ride. And I don’t want to hear any complaining. Got that?

Ya know, in college, I was always way ahead of the “Holiday” game. Perhaps that was due to necessary budgeting, something of which I do little of these days.

With my couponing and jumping-through-hoops-to-save-a-dime days being gone (I hope) forever, maybe I’ve lost the desire for planning ahead? Or the will? The ability?

Who knows, who cares. It is what it is.

And I do have somewhat of an excuse as I am just emerging from a snowstorm which dumped twenty-two inches in my back yard. Anybody got a shovel? Better yet, a cute little slave boy who brings his own shovel that you might want to lend me? Lyndee? Mistress V? Mistress Sky? Slip of a Girl?

I can’t ask The Savants. I mean, after all, their major function is to sit and look pretty in my curio cabinet. Anything else is of their own free will and icing on the Christmas cookie. Sigh. My brother braved the aftermath today and advised I stay in until Sunday. Guess I will heed his advice. My favorite pizzaria is back in business, so that should tide me over.Which leaves a heap of stuff for me to finish up on Sunday. But there it is.

***

FYI: The week of Christmas (between 12/26 and 1/1) I will be featuring holiday pricing on calls. But feel free to call anytime you see me around before then.

***

And in case you’re wondering how the angel atop the Christmas tree became a tradition:

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out.  Mrs. Claus was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Mrs.Claus was all up in his face and wouldn’t let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened, “The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!”

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa’s house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, “Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?”

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

***
Now it’s back to wrapping and curling ribbon for me.

xo, Angela

As I noted earlier:

Specializing in Fetish/Kink/FemDom — Fantasy Phone Sex, I have to admit that Mr. Vanilla is not my typical client.

Despite the above statement, Mr. Vanilla has now joined that ever-evolving elite group here at Zen Fetish, my highly-coveted Savant Collection. Think of him as a unicorn among thoroughbreds, The Thing amidst the Fantastic Four, or even a highly-evolved republican among democrats. Because he is all of this and much more. Grouse if you will — Mr. Vanilla is highly regarded by this webmistress and is here to stay.

So…I finally got around to sitting down with Mr. V for the promised interview. And guess what? He was quite the slippery one. Just see for yourself:

Angela: Well, Mr. Vanilla, people seem interested in meeting you.

Vanilla Savant: Really? I’m not quite sure why. But I’m happy to work with you on an interview.

Since I kinda-sorta sprung it on you, I’m certainly glad you’re gracious enough to go along with this. Let’s start with the basics. How old are you?

Middle-aged.

(pssst: See how non-specific he is? Politely so, of course.)

Mmmm. I do like my men seasoned just so. Older men are so much better to train. Er, I meant, to play with.

Of course that’s what you meant, my love.

(pssst: See how gracious he is? Always the gentleman.)

What are your politics?

Middle-of-the-road.

Dearest Mr. Savant, we’ve had many political — shall we call them — volleys? A discussion of your politics requires more than four words, dontcha think? At least give me a sentence.

Okay. I will admit to being registered Republican, but with (at times) strong Democratic or at least Liberal leanings.

Are you wealthy?

Middle-class.

What a crock! If you are middle class, then I am Food Stamp Fannie hanging out at the soup kitchen. Try again.

Maybe some would consider me wealthy. But there are certainly many others with much more than me.

Not that many others. I’ll let it slide for now. But just you wait ’til I get you on the phone again. I am going to make you do something very naughty!

You tease me so deliciously, Miss St. Lawrence. I can hardly wait. Perhaps we should stop this interview now and have a little phone dalliance?

Not so fast, Buster. Inquiring minds are hanging on our every word! We have a responsibility to the Zen audience.

Of course. What was I thinking? Fire away.

Ok, Mr. Smarty Pants. What is your favorite sexual position?

There’s more than one?

I think you’re teasing me and the Zen readers.

Maybe a bit. But then, you were teasing me. What would you like to know?

Tell us the basics about yourself.

Married. Grown kids. A lawyer. I retired a few years ago and have been having fun exploring new careers in teaching and professional research.

And what, pray tell, brought you to me?

I was just web-cruising one night and found your website, Literate Smut. It was so different than other “phone sex” sites I’d seen: Sophisticated, creative. I was intrigued. Who was the woman behind all of this? So I listened to one of your audio recordings. Very sexy! I left you a five star review, to which you sent a very nice Thank You with an invitation to talk. As I recall, I was a bit nervous.

And then what did you do?

Before making an actual direct call, I decided to listen to another of your recordings. As both of us know and will never forget, I reviewed it with four stars which I thought was pretty good.

Did I agree with you? Did I think four stars was pretty good?

You certainly didn’t and had no problem telling me so. You came at me with a furious email. I was really surprised. My first experience of submissiveness in your presence, I guess.

Did I scare you?

Actually, you did. At least a little bit. But I did email you back with my reasoning.

I remember. You were very polite about the whole thing. And then we started talking. On the Phone, Finally!

Yes. And I got to know what a wonderful conversationalist and companion you are. So for a few years now, we’ve been chatting.

Chatting about …?

Your life. My life. Movies. Politics. What do friends talk about? Or, in the case of politics, what do friends argue about? Literature. Your poetry, which I think is incredible.

(pssst: He thinks my poetry is incredible!)

No phone sex?

Of course there is phone sex. Delicious phone sex. And you really have expanded my horizons quite a bit, which has been exciting and, well, a lot of fun, too. What impresses me is your ability to listen, to build a fantasy around where I am, but to take it just a bit further than I might have suggested, so that I feel totally safe but thrilled by being in new territory. That’s a gift to me every time.

Beloved Savant, your ability to go with me wherever I take you has been your gift to both of us. I have loved and continue to love ever minute of it. But what about other PSOs? Have you ever called any other PSOs?

There are only two occasions when this has happened. The first time was when we were still getting to know each other. You urged me to try others. I think your exact words were, “If you can’t cheat with phonesex, that’s pretty sad.” So I did. But I ran back to you quickly. The experience was horrid. I told you then that it was the best PR you could have given yourself.

I remember that. You were pretty funny. But, in defense of other PSOs, you really didn’t try that hard. What is the second occasion?

When you’ve asked me to help out a friend of yours. Which is typical of your generosity, Angie. You really look out for your peers. It is amazing. Other than that, I really haven’t. I’ve been so satisfied with our calls that there hasn’t been any reason to try to meet someone else.

You show up (under your online name) at this blog quite often. Why do you spend time here?

In a way, it lets me continue the conversation when you and I aren’t on the phone together. Plus Zen Fetish is turning out to be pretty interesting reading; I love the variety of things that you post, and I’m beginning to appreciate your other fans. They always have something intelligent and interesting to say. I’m sometimes a bit jealous of their special relationships with you, of course, but I also have come to respect them. They all show great taste in women, for example!

(pssst: See how charming he is?)

Have you any suggestions for other “fans?”

I think your clients end up being a self-selecting bunch. Someone really crass or rude probably won’t appreciate your subtlety or intelligence and will move on. So your regulars don’t need any advice from me. Except, maybe, not to leave a four-star review!

Any requests of me?

Do I have to be “Mr. Vanilla” forever?

Ah, Mr. V, you’re such a cute savant. Just stay the way that you are. I promise to take you out to play (on the wrong side of the tracks — where the wild things are) lots and lots. Besides, you’re so cute when you squirm.

If you say so. I will trust you. You’ve never let me down yet.

Ok, before we end this, you know I am linking to a charity with each entry throughout the holidays. I want you and our readers to know that today’s charity is First Book. Do you want to tell the readers why?

Wow! Well, I guess it’s because I donated to this charity in memory of your brother, because you and I both so deeply believe in the importance of books and reading and writing.

Yes. It is a lovely charity. Thank you.

And now, my Vanilla Savant, let’s see if our readers have any questions for you, shall we?

Oh no!

Oh, yes!

***