COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…..

_____________________________

(via my email.  Thanks, sis!)

xo, Angela

I think I forgot something.  Hmmm …

Oops.  Were you looking for Phone Sex? 

Have I got a girl (or two or three or even more) for you!

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Big Bodacious Bridgette:  Hot! Wet! And waiting for YOU!  CLICK HERE

Flaming Embers: Hot Cougar entertains your fetishes.  CLICK HERE

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But nobody — absolutely no fuckin’ body — can deny the fact that I put 110% into each and every call.   Once  I pick up that phone, the rest of the world ceases to exist, and there is just you and me and mischief extraordinaire.  

It’s nice to know my callers appreciate that about me.  I never ask for reviews, but a lot of you go above and beyond to make sure I know how you feel, leaving generous 5 star commentary that causes me to grin from ear to ear.  I sometimes forget to thank you. (Ya know … in the heat of the moment and all.  *wink*)  But I want you to know that I do read them and do appreciate your words.

So … let’s see what you had to say.  Shall we?

*****  I am the deviant devotee of the diva of debauchery. Angela gives the expression glad-handing a very fine new meaning and I am, her humble and most appreciative servant. Thank you   my gem of infinite facets; you are divine.

*****  My God! She has fileted my gray matter, flambe’d my libido, sauteed my psyche. I am medium and she is rare. The sensitive, graceful sadism she practices is unique and addictive and like a naked General MacArthur, I joyfully exclaim "I shall return!?" 

*****  Sexy, intelligent, charming, articulate, controlling and wonderful. Time just melted away with Miss Angela. I can barely wait for our next encounter. 

*****  Magnificent as always; give her the seed and she will make it blossom with insight. Magic voice and wit. Best call ever!

*****  Mistress Angela will open your eyes; what she does to the rest of you is too delicious to describe. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.  

*****  Ms. St. Lawrence, as always, you deliver the perfect mix of sexiness, intelligence and raw in-your-face perversion. I’ll always come back for more, because there’s absolutely nobody who does it better or badder.

*****  4 out of 5 hypno-verts recommend Angela St Lawrence over other brands of tele-Domme-ination. United States Dominatrix Association (USDA)-approved, 100% pure erotic juice concentrate, no bullshit added, hand-holding or other ego-preservatives added. The Ultimate "Stroke of Good Fuck." Zero carbs, all protein, (your own). "A-wunnerful, a-wunnerful."

*****  The only problem is saying goodbye.

*****  Nowadays, a brain is generally a rare find. A bright one is basically a miracle. And that’s what Angela is, a miracle that is a real treat for both your sexuality and your intelligence. Be very good to yourself: read what she writes, and talk to her! Personally, I plan to do that often enough.

*****  Angela is mighty wonderful - took my fantasy and ran with it and made it perfect. Very enjoyable! Thank you Angela. 

*****  Honest, intelligent discourse, Earnest in Her passion for Her craft…Thank You, Shall phone again..Merci… 

*****  Back to basics: a woman who listens first, has a free, uncensored imagination, the warm voice of your best lover, and the ability to spin the wildest erotic stories. I’d be in love if I weren’t so busy being satisfied. Thanks, Angela, for yet another perfect call.  

*****  My #1 and only.

*****  An international trip made reaching Angela a bit more complicated than usual - but once I heard her voice, I knew I was home. Even from half way around the world, she can make my heart stop. An intercontinental treasure.

*****  Intuitive and completely in charge of the tale she weaves… satisfying and addictive…. very impressed! 

***** Not just the very, VERY best on NiteFlirt. Angela St Lawrence is the very best ANYWHERE. You can find cheaper by the dozen, you can find more expensive "Flirts" by the score. But until you call Angela you’ll ALWAYS be wanting just a little bit MORE! 

You guys rock!  Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

xo, Angela

________________________________________________________

If you’re a regular reader, you will remember my dear writer-friend Jeremy Edwards AKA Jerotic.  It’s been a while, but if you liked this charming bit of erotica … well, plug Jerotic or Jeremy Edwards into the search box and you’ll find him here and there along with THIS STORY.   Because I’ve been a fan since day one … and you should be too.  Sweetness and naughtingess and sexiness and kink and playfulness and seduction and — me oh my — how does somebody get it so right?  Every single time?

Like any self-respecting smut-provocateur Jeremy gets around, gleefully spreading the very good news that  "it’s good to be bad."  I don’t have to tell you that this is a philosophy I wholeheartedly embrace, now do I? And, apparently, so do lotsa goodly and smartly erotica writers and fans, ‘cuz their all jumping for joy wherever and whenever Jerotic shows up.  Just read what they have to say, why dontcha?

Best news of all?  Our dear and most appreciated Jerotic has published his first erotic novel, ROCK MY SOCKS OFF.  You can read more about this book and purchase it  HERE.  Go ahead, click that link; don’t be shy.

For up-to-the-minute news (announcements, links, & trivia re. All Things Jerotic), visit and bookmark From Socks To Fedora.  And stay tuned to this blog, because I intend to sweet-talk my most-cherished Jeremy out of many more hot stories for this blog.

xo, Angela

Happy Valentine’s Day

Special Phone Sex Discount

February 14, 2010

All calls ONLY $1.89 per minute. (reg. $2.49)

Plus: 5 FREE Minutes for your next call.  (12.45 value)

Be my Kinky Valentine:

 Literate Smut:  For the Deviant Intellectual  ► CLICK HERE

The Reformatory:  Bad Boys WILL Serve ME  ► CLICK HERE

PRICK TEASE:   I WILL control you & your cock!  ► CLICK HERE

Macho Sissy:   Dress Up ~ Go Down ~ Bend Over  ► CLICK HERE

Indecent Exposure:  Blissful Aberrations  ► CLICK HERE

Kinky Vanilla:  Experience X-Rated Perversity  ► CLICK HERE 

Be My Boy Toy:  Trust me, you’ll like it. … A LOT.  ► CLICK HERE

with much affection, Angela

Pink High Heel Shoes

by Dónall Dempsey

I remember drinking
pink champagne

from your pink
high heel shoes

I remember making love
with you wearing only your pink
high heel shoes

I remember
how your pink high heel shoes

became candleholders
ashtrays
(where you stashed your hash)

deadly weapons
in a row

& you ask me
do I remember

your pink high heel shoes?

Do I?
I do!

________________________________

You bet he remembers.  And remembers.  And remembers.

I find this poem uber sexy, since I have a thing for high heels and happen to own a few pairs of pink high heels.  If you don’t get it, just think about it. 

Think about lying dark in a cool room. Naked, your hands to your side …. your eyes closed as you’re Mistress/lover has instructed.  Hearing the door open, the click, click, click of her heels on the hardwood floor.  I think you can take it from there. 

And if you can’t? You need to call me ASAP! *wink*

Mr. Donall can be found here and keeps a blog here.  Listen to and watch a Poetry Reading here.

Thanks to PQS for sending this uber sexy poem my way … he does indeed know what I like.

xo, Angela

A Kinky Love Story
Blurring the Gender Line
Cross-Dressing Cat Blog
Delish Lingerie Dish
Ebony Hot Dam Sexy
Freedom to Be You (Amazon Book)
Grammar Lessons: Dress for Teacher (video)
Hot Date? (video)
llicit & Copious Transgender Fiction
Join the Men Wearing Panties Club
Kinky? Only the first time
Lola by The Kinks
Maid to Order
Nuanced & Spectacular Ms. Bowers
Oh my! Lady-Boys
Porn Stars
Quintessential House of Sissy
Read A Sexy CD Story or Two or Three (Amazon book)
Shop to your Girly Heart’s Content
Tia on Twitter
Uber Sweet Sissy Hubby
Vintage Cross-Dressing Pictures
Wicked Story (by me): Panties for Anderson
X-tra Sexy Men in Panties Pics
You stole their panties???
Zen-fabulous Dela TS

I felt dirty.  I felt slutty.  I felt fucking wonderful.  He could see me, all of me, lusty and lewd and hungry.  Oh, I was so dirty, dirty. dirty.  And he knew it.  And it made his fucking cock so hard to see me losing control like that.  Right there in front of him.  Right there atop my own mother’s coffee table, where he could fondle me and finger me and touch me and eventually … fuck the living daylights out of me.

Later — think of Diane Lane sitting on that bus in ‘Unfaithful’ — over and over again I’d replay what we’d done, how bad I’d been, how dirty and hot I’d felt and how good it was.  Oh it was soooo good to be bad.  It was so damn good and I wanted more, more, more.  And so we continued to learn, explore and stretch our sexuality in new and devious and dirty ways.

My passion (and lust) for that boy eventually waned.  No marriage, no babies.  I was off to college; off to bigger and better things.  I was off to open up the world — open it wide for myself and all my dreams.  It was the only path I could take, but I’m so glad I didn’t know that until it was upon me; that in my innocence and blush of first love, I was able to submerge my "good girl Catholicism" deep into my Delphic heart and learn the joy of "feeling dirty" with this boy so eager to teach me.

What amazes me is that these numbered of years later — internet-enlightened and supposedly sexually wiser than the "free love" generation — so many of us walk one way and talk another when it comes to kinky, fetish-y, dirty-ish S E X.  I know you’re doing it!  I know you’re doing a helluva lot of it!  I specialized in Kinky Phone Sex, Fetish Phone Sex and FemDom Phone Sex.  So don’t you go forgetting that.  Not even for one minute.  I’ve got your number!

Well, er, you’ve got MY number.  Semantics.  Let’s move on.

But really — and I do mean REALLY — think about the porn you access, think about what YOU think about when you masturbate.  I certainly don’t masturbate to vanilla scenarios. NOT EVER.  And I’m pretty sure you don’t either.  Come on … fess up.  You can tell me all about it.  Or maybe you conveniently don’t remember/think about the particular bent piece of brain  candy you were chewing away at the last time it was hands-on solo?

I say "conveniently" because I used to do that.  Guilty as charged!  I’d have this horrifically perverse psycho-drama playing in my head as I, as the boys say, "rubbed one out."  I would get hot and itchy and crazy-lustful.  Which transferred into a seriously out-of-this-world breath-taking orgasm. YUMM-FUCKING-Y!  Then I’d think to myself, you’re a bad girl.  Shame on you. There is something wrong with you.  You are disgusting.  And so I’d promptly and ever-so-efficiently forget it, erase it, deny it.  Gone, gone, gone.

And wouldn’t you know it?  There it would be, right back where it belonged: that bright & shiny Halo right there atop my good little Catholic school girl head.  A little crooked, perhaps, but none the worse for the wear.  Now that all that "naughtiness" was for all intents & purposes erased, I could go about the business of being conventionally normal.  Just like everybody else.  Which is quite the trick isn’t it?

The slippery part of this business is that — when our halos are back in place — we’ve really do forget.  It’s an intermittent amnesia of sorts (because you can bet we’ll revisit those vile scenarios and nasty thoughts sooner rather than later … and often) which affords us quite the lofty spot from which to express our shock, our disgust at "those other people" with the "weird fetishes" and "forbidden desires" and "perverse kinks."

Which is just silliness. Because one man’s Panty Fetish is another man’s BDSM is another man’s Body Worship is another man’s CFNM is another man’s Strap-On Training is another man’s Public Masturbation, is another man’s CBT is another man’s Forced-Bi is another man’s Castration is another man’s Puppy Training is another man’s Cuckolding is another man’s Tease & Denial is another man’s …

You get my point?  Don’t you?

This doesn’t mean we’re running around every day salivating and humping and chomping our fetish fangs all over the place.  I mean that wouldn’t look very nice at church now, would it?  Plus it would make for a lot of dry cleaning.  In my REAL LIFE I  have tender and romantic sex, with the occasional wild and crazy encounter.  And if you want to know more about that … well, you’re going to have to at least buy me dinner. 

But I am quite serious when I iterate that all of us have THE RIGHT to Feel Dirty.  It’s just one part of our multi-faceted sexual selves.  If we deny this part of us, harness our super powers (prayer, hobbies, nightly bouts of self-flagellation) and Just Say No to the Kryptonite (get out of my head, lewd thoughts and craven images), we’re really just perpetuating out-dated psycho-sexual mythology and carnal misconceptions.  And then inflicting this erroneous crap on ourselves and others. 

As a wise woman once told me:  Thou shalt not should on thyself.  I thought it was good advice at the time and I’ve always kept it handy for the occasional crisis of conscience. I would just hope we remember to not should on others, either.  

How about this for a bumper sticker: Eradicate Sexual Obscurantism! 

xo, Angela