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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...

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Hooker Poetry

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

Read and enjoy and then I’ll explain: 

(Craigslist ad)

SEXY ASIAN DOMINA’S SENSUAL PLAYGROUND – w4m

Busty asian temptress wants to wrap you in her spell and use her unique style of sensual torment which is perfect for the inexperienced as well as those seeking more extreme. My specialties are sensual roleplay. Come feel my ropes and lets play with my toys on you as you submit to my will and experience role reversal.

I have a female submissive as well for our experimentation. Double Mistress sessions are also available with advance notice….Double your torment and pleasure.

Come experience from one of London’s best. Incall and outcall are available.

Dave’s e-mail:

Hello Domina,

I need punishment! I want to read my poetry to you and then you punish me for their lack of quality. Here´s a poem I wrote for you, tell me what you think: 

Beat me up nonstop

You are a busty domina
I may come over to see ya
Beat me up and whip my ass
Make me take your masterclass

Her reply:

you have my phone number from the ad.  call to arrange
a session.

Conclusion:

Firm and businesslike, no comment about the poem. I guess this is what one can expect from a popular domina?

****

Found via Pervscan wherein Supervert  was editorializing on the Craigslist vs. Prostitutes controversy currently in the news

Our cherished Zen Savant ended with a Shout Out to Dave’s Little Book of Prostitute Poetry, which is just  frickin hilarious.

Dave — of Downloading Porn with Davo — was doing some traveling last year and used his down time to scan the Erotic Services section at Craigslist.  He answered quite a few of the ads, including a  snippet of self-writ doggerel along with the email.   Lucky for us, he documented what transpired. 

I would bet if a girl would have answered in kind — a humorous haiku, for example — she would have caught his attention and nailed down his business in a heartbeat.

and to Dave:  It is my experience (admittedly limited to observation rather than field study) that, as you so astutely observed, many Dominas strike this aloof tone, mistakenly believing it  adds to their "superior mystique."    While — as your own experience  proved — what actually occurs is a cessation of communication.  Because, really now, after such a cool (and uninspired) response, where does a guy go?  May I suggest that the next time you are seriously looking for a Maitresse — who can kick your ass while leaving a smile on you face — check out Mistress Matisse.  She’s sexy, smart and — what a concept! — friendly. 

… and again to Dave:  You are absolutely right when you say:  "These women get lots of e-mails and consider many of the men who write them as time-wasters."   This I DO know from personal experience.  In the PSO industry we Phone Sex FemDoms call the kinda guy you describe as a WANKER.  And, in our defense, it does get tedious.  Personally, I  find it very disrespectful of these guys.  Then again, we are the "professionals" and need to rise above the mundane and "act as if."  At least until are darker suspicions are validated. 

… and for Dave:                          

wish I’d been hangin’ at craig’s, honey
when you were lookin’ to spend some whore money

you’d have sent me a rhyme plain and pretty
which included a whole bunch of dirty

i’d have answered, my sweets,
poetically dangling my treats

you’d have smiled at my gesture
then responded with pleasure

the rest of this verse holds no mystery:
you and i’d have made craigslist history

Adult Sex Quiz

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

ADULT SEX QUIZ


Q.) What doesn’t belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What’s the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What does a Rubik cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What’s the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

***Again, I bring you the content of my sister, Bethany’s inter0ffice email.  She forwards me a lot of this stuff.  And–aren’t you lucky–I pass it on to you.  At my end, I see a list of email addresses to which she (and others before her) have forwarded the original.  And let me tell you, ladies and gents,  a large majority of the receivers are female.

Bethany is very high up on the corporate ladder, verily a  mover and shaker, mixing it up with power brokers day in, day out.  My point is that if you’re wondering if sophisticated ladies in suits and heels can get raunchy with the best of them…

Well, hell yes, we can!

xo, Angela