A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the Churchill Downs racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their "wee-wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade."
"No, ma’am," he replied. "I’m riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help."n the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
Obama Tricked Us!
When Millions of Americans watched Mr. Obama’s appearance on CBS’s 60 Minutes on Sunday, they witnessed the president-elect’s unorthodox verbal trick , which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a president who speaks English as if it were his first language.
"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate — we get it, stop showing off."
The president-elect’s stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.
"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can’t really do there, I think needing to do that isn’t tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.
Email from a Phone Sex Caller:
… just thinking about Bill Clinton and the drag of being a relatively young president is that you kinda get retired in 8 years with some fuel still in the tank. I think you ought to send him some links, Angela. He’s ready!
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. said:
Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.
Thought for the Day:
Life is supposed to be amazing! Don’t settle for anything less.
Phone Sex Advice for the Day:
Don’t shop for the perfect girl by just listening to a voice — unless the voice is your fetish. You don’t learn anything from hearing two or three sentences from her mouth then hanging up. You could very well have missed the roller coaster ride of your life because you acted hastily and stupidly. Not to mention rudely. Oh and if the voice thing is your fetish? Well you’re just not to smart and probably as about as deep as a shot glass.
A lot of the above STUFF I’d save for you and am finally getting it up here at Zen. Thanks to Vanilla Savant for the Obama piece, to The Professor for the email and to my sister, Bethany, for the Race Track Joke.