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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...


Don’t Call Me “Baby”

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

… or else.

I dunno.  I guess the problem is that when I don’t know you and you don’t know me and it is the first time we’ve spoken … 

… well, it’s creepy.  It’s smarmy-creepy when "Hey, baby" are the first words out of your mouth.  Did you even take the time to find out my name?  Check out my Free Phone Sex Stories or this Free Phone Sex blog?  Or scan my various Phone Sex listings at NiteFlirt such as Prick Tease or Literate Smut or Macho Sissy?  I’m absolutely certain that the answer is a big, fat resounding ENNN OHH. 

Because here’s what happened (and I’m always right about these things, so don’t even attempt a protest):  You found yourself  with your dick in your hand.  Your dick wanted a P U S S Y.  Not a woman, not Angela St. Lawrence or even a girl by any other name.  You just wanted a PUSSY. 

(Which begs the question:  Would a pussy by any other name still smell as sweet?) 

Regardless, we both know that you and your selfish prick could care less if you were talking to Angela, Mindy or Theresa.  You didn’t know my name, because you didn’t care who I was as long as I possessed a vagina.  In other words, in this particular instance (‘cuz certainly you don’t operate this way in your everyday life; say it isn’t so, dear man), you were actually using "baby" as a pronoun.  

And not a pronoun as in "you."  I wasn’t me to you.  I was an it.  Calling me baby was the equivalent  to calling me IT.  So guess what?

Baby = It = Pussy = No Phone Sex for You from Me

Yanno … You really should be more of a savvy shopper when it comes to calling a Phone Sex Operator, because there are many men who are so talented at changing there voices that they actually take calls — usually from the stOOpid (that would be you) boys — in their girly-girl voices and collect your cash by the minute while you jerk.  Yes, they are  low-life posers too lazy or dumb to get a real job.  But guess who their target market is?  Y. O. U.  Because they know they can get away with it.  I have to admit that there’s a sweet poetic irony in that for me. 

And yes, you pissed me off and that is why I ever-so-abruptly hung up on you.  Call me cranky, call me a bitch, call me too demanding.  I don’t care.   FYI, you’ve also been permanently blocked so I never have to hear your slimy voice again.  

So to HDB, jellyfish, Pervert Savant, Mr. Smith, et al:  Okay, so I wasn’t on my best behavior today.  Not so charming, not so sweet, not so tolerant.  But, as you fellows and most of my readers and/or callers know, I’ve recently moved.  It’s been hectic and stressful and energy-depleting.  A girl can only take so much, dontcha know? 

And, really now …  is it so wrong to expect at least a sentient being on the other end of the phone when I pick up?   Should I or any girl be subjected to the guttural demands (because with that intro, you know they were coming) of loutish clochards operating on three brain cells at best?

Tell me I am wrong, and I’ll try to do better the next time.  Honest Injun. *fingers crossed*

In the meantime …

Well, men really can be damnably dumb at times.  From my sister:

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an Old Grandpa walked by. Grandma One yelled out, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man stopped and shook his finger at the Grandmas. "What are you? Crazy? There is no way you can guess my age, you old fools."

Grandma Two answered back, "We’re not crazy and we can prove it. Just drop your pants and under shorts and we will tell you your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but eager to prove the old women wrong, the Old Grandpa he dropped his drawers.  Grandma Three asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.   Determined to teach the old women a lesson, the old man threw common sense to the wind and began whirling and jumping as the old women screeched and howled until tears were running down their cheeks. 

"I don’t know what you old bats are laughing at," said the Old Grandpa, stopping to catch his breath, "you still don’t know how old I am."

Then all three Grandmas all piped up and said, "You’re 87 years old."

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies called out in unison…

"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

BTW … been super busy with this move.  Unpacking, shopping, decorating, etc.  I will be blogging and taking calls most days, now that things are starting to come together.  We’ve got some dirty stuff, some interesting news and a whole bunch of mischief waiting just around the corner.  So stick around, get comfortable, loosen your tie or drop your drawers or pop some popcorn.  Hopefully it will be a very bumpy ride.

with much affection, Angela

(photo credit: The Pirata)

Happy Birthday To Me Me Me

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Did you get this email?  Just so you know ….

Come enjoy a Birthday Celebration with me.


Saturday and Sunday (8/15 & 8/16)

Live Calls:  $1.49 (regular 2.49) per minute: 

  • Literate Smut (smart, kinky & sassy) CLICK HERE
  • The Reformatory (BDSM) CLICK HERE
  • Prick Tease (FemDom Cock Control) CLICK HERE
  • Macho Sissy (Cross Dressing/Emasculation) CLICK HERE
  • Indecent Exposure (Fantasy & Role Play)  CLICK HERE
  • Be My Boy Toy (FemDom Humiliation) CLICK HERE
  • Kinky Vanilla (Sweet and Dirty) CLICK HERE
    Thank YOU!

    A special thank you to all of my callers who kept calling back and made me one of the highest rated flirts at NiteFlirt.  As you know, I put my heart into this and want nothing less than for you to have a superior (albeit at least a little bit kinky *wink*) experience.  As I’ve often said, I may not always get everything right, but I am working all my magic to make IT happen for you.  I hope I’ve lived up to this heartfelt undertaking and exceeded your expectations.

    YOU are welcome!

    If you haven’t called before or are a lapsed caller, don’t be shy.  I’d love to celebrate a part of my day with you.  If you want to know more about me read my blog, Zen Fetish.  If you are wondering exactly what kind of fantasies we might create, check out my FREE stories at Blistered Lips — be sure to look around because there’s a lot of variety.  I kinda-sorta like to be in charge, but am flexible with the right chemistry.  I’m an avid reader with an English Degree and simply adore taking your kinky fantasies and turning them into technicolor reality.


    Hell Hath No Fury

    Friday, January 23rd, 2009

    So, yeah, I took this test.  Not that I put much store in this online silliness — but it passes the time, particularly when you are avoiding what you should be doing.  And I’ve been more or less in avoidance mode for a while now.

    The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
    Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

    Level Score
    Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Low
    Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) High
    Level 2 (Lustful) Very High
    Level 3 (Gluttonous) Low
    Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate
    Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Low
    Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low
    Level 7 (Violent) Moderate
    Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Moderate
    Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Low

    Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

    Okay, in my defense, the questions were very black and white … yes or no, true or false.  And I am just sooo not a black and white girl.  Then again, my results also include this bit of hell and brimstone warning:

    You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them.  You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain.

    I actually kinda-sorta see the semi-truth in that last line, that I’ve betrayed reason for pleasure.  But it also notes that:

    Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

    I think I can live with that.


    Phone Sex Quote of the Day: 

    What I like most about talking with you Angela, is that you are always so frank.  You do like being control, but you do it in such a human, heart-felt way that it is viscerally intimate.  When I am talking to you, it is like we are really in the same room.   ~ Very special Prick Tease Caller

    xo, Angela