(For my Small Penis Humilation Junkies, adapted from the PIC blog.)

• you sort through hundreds of emails in your spam folder every week, vigilantly marking every penis enlargement ad as "Not Spam."
• women refer to your happy trail as the "trail of tears."
• you’ve never been able to figure out why there’s a slit in your boxers.
• a man at a bar has ever seen you, talked with you, felt your crotch, and STILL mistaken you for a woman.
• girls affectionately refer to giving you a handjob as "pushing your button."
• you think deep-throating is just a musical skill practiced by bass vocalists.
• you’ve ever tried to cave your penis in on itself, and succeeded long enough to have inverse cock sex with a man.
• it’s been mistaken for your belly button.
• you refuse to watch porn because it’s "totally unrealistic."
• you refer to the part of your penis below the head as the "neck."
• you have to "look around" before you pull it out at the urinals.
• you tell a girl to get ready for your manhood, and she giggles.
• you tell yourself its perfectly normal to shower in your boxers in the locker room.
• you put a condom on, and it slips off.
• you hold your condom in place with rubber bands
• you refer to masturbating as "pumping your sawed-off.
• your foreskin hangs two inches past the tip…and you’re circumcised.
• you encountered a genie and made the mistake of asking for a little head.
• you own two sets of tweezers because one is designated solely for "unmentionables.
• you’ve ever gotten a girl to agree to nasal sex because "well, it won’t hurt to try."
• your girlfriend whistles It’s a Small World After All during sex.
• your penis says YOU’RE small, but you know he’s just bitter.
• you get blowjobs from amoebas.
• your girlfriend brings a shrimp fork to bed.
• you need to shave your pubes in order to urinate.
• your girlfriend’s clit is larger than your penis.
• your nickname has always been Little Willie 

(And if this just wasn’t any fun, well — go look at lots and lots of dirty pictures.)

Looking for Sex:  In All the Wrong Places?

I've written about this before, that as a webmistress I can see the  search terms by which people find their way to me.  Because I am a most awesome-est blog-stress, dontcha know.  (And if you're a first time visitor reading this, don't run away.  Stick around and get to know me.  I joke around a lot.  And make fun of myself and of what I do and everything else that is within shooting distance.) 

The last time, in an entry titled My Bad Reputation, we were looking at my FREE erotic story blog, Blistered Lips, checking out the specific search terms by which people were finding that site.  Evidently both readers and callers found it interesting, as many commented either via this blog or over the phone as to such.  Although it would behoove me to pay serious attention to this type of info and market myself accordingly, I don't.  But, hey!  I've always gone by the seat of my panties and it seems to serve me well.  So excuse me while I keep doing what works for me.

But I do continue to monitor–at least periodically–the whole darned thing, because it is fascinating.  As of late, my eyes have been on this blog, Zen Fetish, and which magical yellow brick road searchers are taking to get here.

So are ya ready?  Wanna see what I see? 

• domination (little innocent moi?)
• pantyhose
• femdom wedding  (read all about it)
• Hermaphrodite Phonesex  (I am actually quite good at this.)
• Angela St. Lawrence  (Guess who?)
• mistress tease denial
• phone sex  (read all about it)
• denial tease
• cock sucking men (Now would I make a guy do that?)
• small penis humiliation
• zen fetish
• pantyhose blog
• cuckold fetish  (read all about it)
• smoking fetish  (here and here)
  
• fetish ladies in leather
• femdom story
  
• cock control (read all about it)
  
• angela +zen fetish
• penis humiliation  (Okay, I admit liking this fantasy.)
• zen fetish
• femdom
• you're dick is bigger than my strap on  (I think not!)
  
• "porn art"
• femdom professional (You rang?)
  
• deep throat small penis  (Is that even possible?)
• female domination
• catholic school girl fetish (read all about it)
• femdom wedding
• phonesex fetish
• angela st lawrence
• zen fetish
• tease and denial (read all about it)
• zen fetish
• panty boy
• erotic tease  (A favorite of mine.)
  
• smell my thong  (I will not!)
• angela st. lawrence
• small penis humiliation
• spanking +enema 
• humiliation small dick
• small penis humiliation
• tease and delay orgasm stories
• princess crissy (read all about it)
  
• face slapping
• erotic humiliation (read all about it)
  
• good girls gone bad  (What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?)
  
• women getting fucked by a small penis
• zen fetish
• cuckold (read all about it)
• frau story  (Say what?)
  
• dirty school girls
  
• sissy +panties  (Oh, the fun of it all.)
  
• erotic humiliation
• panty fetish  (read all about it)
  
• forced cocksucking (read all about it)
  
• looking for a dirty old man to use my sissy man cunt (You are?)
• smoking fetish
• fucked so hard her pussy bled  (Dream on, Herman.)
• face slapping a slave  (read all about it)
  
• small penis humiliation
• mistress femdom "eat cum" 
• cock tease  (read all about it)
  
• dangling pussy lips  (Yuk!)
  
• small penis humiliation
• bad girls bestiality (Shame on you!)
• cock sucking boys (read all about it)
• fetish women in chains
• panty ass fetish
• orgasm control  (Oh, yeah!)
• smoking fetish
• cum denial
• kinky catholic girls  (And your point is…?)
• i  like big cock and i am a man  (I knew that already.)
• sissy sex with mom mistress
• zen sex
  
• cuckold "worship my cunt"
• bad boy forced to cum
• pantified
• slightly big cocks  (hmmm….)
• cum denial story
• catholic girls  (read all about it)
• panties
• face slapping porn
• naughty santa claus
• santa claus sex
• good girls gone bad porn
• panty jerking
• smoking, face slapping

The above is just a partial list, since I only have so much time and so do you.  But at least you get a picture of how people are finding their way to the Church of Miss St. Lawrence.  I was surprised how fast my naughty little Christmas story got picked up.  The Internet Gods must have their noses to the grindstone, trying to keep up with the blogosphere explosion.

It's kinda-sorta embarrassing how much "small penis humiliation" (in some form or other) comes up.  It really is a fun dom/sub phonesex game, but it is only a game and not anything I do in my real, everyday life.  I just love the fantasy of verbally emasculating a man.  Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.  I will tell you that very smart, sophisticated men usually enjoy this fantasy.  I think it might be because they are so damned brilliant, the word play is an intoxicating form of domination…whips and chains are just too common for them.

Mostly the list is pretty accurate regarding the types of fantasies at which I excel.  At least some guys seem to think so.  Then there are a few who don't.   C'est la vie!

So, don't be shy.  Tell me what you think.

xo, Angela