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No More Mr. Bad Guys

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Once upon a time, when I was a wee good little Catholic school girl, my mother brought a hooker home for Christmas.  My much older and righteously-proper sister was quite chagrined that the neighbors might see and what would they think?  I, on the other hand, was mesmerized by this most exotic woman in her red high heels, matching crimson lipstick and sparkling ruby-esque chandelier earrings.  I didn’t understand that it was considered "naughty" to have a three-inch slit in your hip-hugging skirt.  Or that this woman provided *gasp* sexual pleasures for cold hard cash in a small town where certainly none of our goodly & faithful men would pay for such things.

And guess what? This harlot, this strumpet, this Jezebel besmirching our Yuletide gathering was one of the kindest people — to this day — that I’ve ever met.  She sat me on her luxurious lap and read to me from the new books Santa had left under the tree.  While the other sister-approved  guests (and family) drank their share of spiked eggnog and pretty much got wasted — isn’t that what Christmas is for? — Miss Tanya helped my mother in the kitchen, cleaned up the continuous mess left by sloppier and sloppier drinkers, gathered the crinkled and discarded gift wrap littering the floor, and eventually was the one to tuck me in to bed because my mother was quite simply exhausted.

I adored Miss Tanya.  I still remember the scent of her perfumed bosom, when she leaned in to kiss me good night, telling me what a sweet little girl I was and brushing the bangs from my forehead.

So today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers


This event was created to call attention to hate crimes committed against sex workers all over the globe. Originally thought of by Dr. Annie Sprinkle and started by the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA as a memorial and vigil for the victims of the Green River Killer in Seattle Washington. International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers has empowered workers from over cities around the world to come together and organize against discrimination and remember victims of violence. During the week of December 17th, sex worker rights organizations will be staging actions and vigils to raise awareness about violence that is commonly committed against sex workers. The assault, battery, rape and murder of sex workers must end. Existing laws prevent sex workers from reporting violence. The stigma and discrimination that is perpetuated by the prohibitionist laws has made violence against us acceptable. Please join with sex workers around the world and stand against criminalization and violence committed against prostitutes.

So why would I care?  I mean, after all, this doesn’t really effect me now, does it?  While I might be called a "sex worker," I certainly have it pretty easy, sitting here on my sweet little tush just whispering dirty little nothings into my phone … at more than arm’s length away from anyone who’d do me harm.

I care because every woman should care.  And let’s get this straight:  I am every woman.  Talking Dirty is just a part of the whole me.  I am a daughter, a sister, a friend.  The same girl who straps you to a chair for a hot nasty tease or instructs you to worship her ass and bark like a dog or presents you naked to a group of her friends IN THE JOYOUS PURSUIT OF YOUR RIGHT TO ENJOY A KINKY FANTASY could be the same girl sitting beside you at a church, could be the same girl who gave your wife a ride when her car broke down, could be the same girl who sat with you in the ICU when your father was dying, could be the same girl taking her wheelchair-bound mother shopping at the mall, could be the same girl who …

And I care because, once upon a time, my mother did bring a hooker home for Christmas dinner.  She brought home Miss Tanya.  Miss Tanya, who — when I was in high school — was found dead in a car which had been set on fire, her body charred and also severely bruised, a wrist broken. 

While there was (what I believe to be) a half-hearted attempt at an investigation, nobody was EVER arrested and charged.   The whore deserved better.  Beautiful Miss Tanya deserved so much better.  Every woman deserves better.

The bad guy got away!  No more Mr. Bad Guys, please?

xo, Angela


XXBN, Progressive Talk Radio Tonight (Dec. 17, 09)

Listen and Participate:  HERE

In honor of International Day to end Violence against Sex Workers Jill and Ren discuss progress and set backs facing Sex Workers Rights Movements all over the world. From laws to social attitudes, allies to enemies, the personal to the political, a lot of change has happened in the last 365 days, so please join us and feel free to call in regarding this topic.