…..unfortunately, these past several days have been one of those times. The result of this not-so-random apathy is that I’ve not been paying attention to this blog.

Don’t take it personal, cuz it has nothing to do with anything except that my AC has been on the fritz for a number of (very intolerable) days while we’ve been experiencing record-breaking high temps. In short, I am miserable.

The good news (if Murphy’s Law doesn’t intervene) is that tomorrow I am getting a brand new unit. No, not that kind of unit. Can’t you ever behave?

While we’re waiting to return to our regularly scheduled programming you might want to check out this kinky and romantic story (yes, you can have both!) Jeremy Edwards wrote over at Sex Kitten: The Girl Who Loved to Pee. Simply scrumptious.

xo

Brought to you courtesy of YouTube and starring Eric Schwartz with a biggy-big thank you to Dear Madame for pointing the way:

Keep your Jesus off my penis.
Keep your bible off my balls.
Keep your prayers out of my ears
and your crosses off of my walls.

You can keep the Virgin Mother
and the Resurrection too.
Keep your Jesus off my penis.
I’ll keep my penis off of you.

Well I’m fricken sick and tired
of turning on the news
and seeing the religous right’s ungodly fight
to take our right to choose:

When to bear our children,
who to love and how,
education and protection
if we’re just practicing for now.

So, Dub-ya, look. I’ll buy a book,
if that’s what works for you.
But I don’t tell you how to pray,
so don’t you tell me how to screw.

Keep your Jesus off my penis.
Keep your bible off my balls.
Keep your prayers out of my ears
and your crosses off of my walls.

You can keep the Virgin Mother
and the Resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off of my Penis.
I’ll keep my penis off of you.

So you’re screaming bloody murder
about the Taliban regime
subjugating women,
being too extreme,

and basing legislation
on some ancient, holy book.
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here’s a mirror: Have a look!

And as for the Ten Commandments,
they need one more at least:
Thou shalt never cover up
the acts of pervert priests.

Now how they’d let that happen?
(Unless they just abhor us.)
But anyway it adds another
layer to the chorus.

Keep your Jesus off my penis.
Keep your bible off my balls.
Keep your prayers out of my ears
and your crosses off of my walls.

You can keep the Virgin Mother
and the Resurrection too.
Keep your Jesus off my penis.
I’ll keep my penis off of you.

So you’ll execute a person
and protect a single cell.
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
and you’re going straight to hell.

Well I don’t know about the word of God.
Far be it from me;
but I can tell you what it ain’t:
hypo-Christianity!

Now I am not anti-Christian
(Before you grab a rope!)
There’s beauty in religion;
and joy and love and hope.

And they’re all looking for the answers,
this colossal, cosmic cause.
But who the fuck are you
to turn your views into my laws?

It’s just believers in the bible
that would have abortioned banned.
Anti-choice agnostics:
I could count them on one hand.

And as for killing babies,
I have but one retort:
If someone raped your daughter, George,
you’d beg her to abort.

And if some young girl from your church
shows up with a child or some infection,
because you taught her what a horrid sin
it was to use protection?

Well, one day you’ll face the pearly gates.
And what you gonna say
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
sends your ass the other way?

Keep your Jesus off my penis.
Keep your bible off my balls.
Keep your prayers out of my ears
and your crosses off of my walls.

Look! I’ve had it up to hear
with all the biblo-foul you spew.
So keep your Jesus off my penis.
At least that is what I would do.

Keep your Jesus off my penis.
I’ll keep my penis off of you.

(That’s if you want me tooooo.)

I must admit that I do like watches a bunch. Like picture frames and purses, I used to buy way too many. I’ve mastered these fetishes/compuslions quite nicely. The shoes … well, let’s just be happy that I’m better than I used to be. But sometimes something is just too cute to resist. This watch, which is available at Inspired Silver, happened to fit into that category:

Won’t it look cute with blue jeans? Actually, I know it will, because I wore it today and got quite a few compliments.

You might be figuring out by now that I have a bit of a thing for the color pink. I’ve always been a closet pink-lover, almost embarrassed by the "girlish-ness" of it. But it’s not going to go away so I might as well fess up once and for all.

So … Hi. My name is Angela and I’m a pink-aholic. Now, everybody together:   Hi, Angela!

I can feel the love. Maybe we can have a group hug?

xo. Me Me Me

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new element.   A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named “Governmentium.”   Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.  Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.   However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.   A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead  undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.   In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that  governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

***Thanks to Mr. D. for sending me this.  I think it is hysterical. 

I’m still slinging the smut (for your reading pleasure) over at Blistered Lips with the occasional bit of romantic erotica thrown in here and there. The latest poem:

warrior’s heart

i think of you:

your warrior’s heart
its toughened blister
-but not for me
-not ever for me

has served you well:

keeper of your flame
it’s kept your secrets
kept your seasoned wit
kept your quiet expectations
kept your easy wisdom

kept you for me
everything for me
all of you for me
always for me
forever for me

just waiting for me:

to untether its strings
puncture its wound
untangle its weave

and I am here:

so that we shall fold
this rare metal
this precious metal
this noble metal
this keeper of your heart
this weathered chain mail

and keep it safe
as it has kept you