Happy St. Patrick’s Day

 

An Irish toast: May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

 

 

 

Dirty Irish Limericks

A dentist, young Doctor Malone,
Got a charming girl patient alone,
And in his depravity
He filled the wrong cavity
And my how his practice has grown 

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who took a pig in a thicket to fuck it.
The pig said with a sneer,
Stay away from my rear.
Come around to the front and I’ll suck it. 

There was a young lady named Flo,
Was approached by a dwarf for a blow.
In disgust she replied,
Your request is denied.
I don’t think I could stoop quite that low.

~~~~

Irish Blessing to you and yours:  Video

xo, Angela

 

    

among morning glories

the drip

drip

of lingerie

____________

Yes, it’s a non-traditional format (you can read about contemporary Haiku HERE).

But ….

Can’t you just smell the crisp-clean scent of the wet satin fused with the sweet perfume of blossoming morning glories? 

Thanks to HDB, who sent me ‘Haiku: Poetry Ancient & Modern,’ wherein I found this lovely Haiku by Alexis Rotella.  Ms. Rotella is an award-winning poet, with over 40 published books of poetry.  You can visit her website HERE and listen to her lovely Valentine’s Haiga HERE.

____________

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And don’t you forget for a minute that I have a fondness for Girly Men & Boy Toys.  And one of us WILL be wearing lingerie.  You can count on it.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…..

_____________________________

(via my email.  Thanks, sis!)

xo, Angela

I think I forgot something.  Hmmm …

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