Catholic Humor:  Thanks to my sister.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards… The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father." The little boy replied "My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many." The boy said "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way." The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.

TOP TEN BUSHISMS:  Thanks to PQS and via Slate’s Jacob Weisberg (where there are a total of 25)

1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters’ questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

7. "I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006

8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

9. "I’ve heard he’s been called Bush’s poodle. He’s bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

Obama is a Cool Cat:  so says Christopher Hitchens

"Our new president’s charm is not merely superficial. It is compounded of two qualities that are distinctly rare in the political class: an apparently very deep internal equanimity, and an ability to employ irony at his own expense. Obama, one can tell, would not have been devastated if he had lost the contest for the White House. Nor was he ready to do or say absolutely anything to win it."

Short and Not So Sweet Sex Poem:  By A. R. Ammons (thanks, PQS)

My Beer Buddy

by Louis Friend (Prurient Interests)

Despite us calling it "boys night out," most of the time Tony and I would hang out in his finished basement on our occasional evenings. Basketball season was our favorite. Tony’s wife, Marsha, would order us up a couple pizzas, stock the basement fridge with beer, and let boys be boys.

And that’s how it’s been since. On occasion he’ll want things outside of our nights together. When he was going through a rough patch with his Marsha, I would meet him in the parking garage after work and suck him off before we both went home to our wives. I’m still all man to my Missus but when Tony and I get together, I’m his bitch, completely.

***

Interestingly enough, I recently created a fantasy very close to Mr. Friend’s scenario.  In fact — with a certain few twists here and there — I’ve conjured two entirely unique quasi-versions.Great minds think alike?  Or maybe it’s just that we — Mr. Friend, myself and , of course, my kinkster callers — are just intrepid gutter rats at heart.  Either way, fun was had by all and, if I do say so myself (and, believe me, I certainly do) two very kinky callers just love me to pieces.  Of course, the feeling is reciprocated.

You might wonder, considering their shared interests why I wouldn’t introduce one to the other.  But Angela, you may be asking, wouldn’t that be a Queer Boy’s dream-come-true?  Nah, not really.  Because, you see, neither want to be Tony.  They want to be the submissive friend who takes it up the ass. 

And did you notice the narrator-sub did not get to have an orgasm?  It’s what I call The Paradox of Submissive Phone Sex.  It goes something like this:  In REAL LIFE when a man is submitting, he might very well serve as a footstool, administer foot worship and be fucked by the Dominant.  And, as the story illustrates, the Dominant usually at some point uses the slave to sate their own sexual desire, culminating in the Dominant’s orgasm, while the submissive does not get relief.  His role is very much objectified; he is a means to an end, and it’s all about the Dominant’s satisfaction. 

BUT …

In a Phone Sex Fantasy it is exactly this fact that the Dominant is using the submissive for his own selfish needs, without any regard for slave’s sexual fulfillment, that cause the Phone Sex Submissive to have an orgasm.  

Which I guess could lead to the conclusion that, if you want to orgasm when serving a Master, it’s better to do it as a fantasy.  Lucky for me, eh?

xo, Angela

Why are Women superior? The question can be approached from many angles and with different goals in mind, some more subjective than others. One of my primary dilemmas in writing this was how to approach it myself. The two things bearing most were if I did this clinically, having it sound too academic and not quite erotic enough, given that a truly exquisite and dominant Woman asked me to do this (no, She didn’t “command” me to for several reasons, not the least of which is She wasn’t and isn’t my Mistress). On the other hand, write it from a purely erotic vantage and it doesn’t bear the ethos of a clinical paper but is quickly written off as someone who’s “Pussy-whipped” and unable to support the thesis with anything resembling a rational approach as to why Women truly are superior in anything other than a fetishist’s province.

Finally, a large part of the superiority of Women comes from the ways and means that civilization has developed.   Men have typically tamed the environment in order for societies to prosper and thrive.   Women have done most of the development of social order (apart from ruler-ship and religion).  Male ‘dominance’ has most often been derived from threat of force. Female Domme-inance has been derived from wit and threat of withholding. Both are effective, but wit and threat are more pervasively effective on the mind, therefore reaching much further than the immediate situation a person might find themselves within.

***

Written for and submitted to me by a most charming devotee.  I think he makes a heck of a lot of sense.  *wink*

Thanks, Mr. A., for speaking so eloquently and from what I know is the deepest part of your very big heart.

Although, I must say, coming from an English-Lit background, I prefer grammar-specific capitalization regardless of whether female/male or domina/slave.  But that’s just me; I’m picky that way.  Deal with it and love me in spite of my peculiarities and  idiosyncrasies.  Believe me, it’s better for all of us.

xo, Angela

Why is it that sneaking a peek is hotter than having it all spread out like a Thanksgiving banquet right in front of you?  Probably because it seems naughtier:  catching a glimpse of the main dish, when you weren’t even offered a trifling, a crumb or even a half-hearted promise to lick the bowl. 

Thanks to Mr. V, a most revered  Grand Master of Upskirt Roleplay,  who reminded me of just how much fun it can be with a long, delicious cock-teasing call today.  And who also, knowing I pay absolutely no attention to Pop Gossip, clued me into to the latest celebrity Peek-A-Boo Faux Pas.   We would, as the Perez Hilton crowd surely knows, be talking about Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell) and her er, um … incident. 

And while even Fox News found it noteworthy, I have a feeling Bill O’Reilly might have something to do with that. I mean we all do remember his Phone Sex Scandal (which, in both my personal and professional judgment, he absolutely sucked at).

Everything started out just hunkey dorey, with  Ms. Halliwell playing it spicey-but-nicey in a chiffon-like red dress when she recently attended the BAFTA British Academy Children’s Awards.  At least at first. 

Could have been the wind, the allignment of stars, even a not-so-talented seamstress.  Or maybe she was missing her Spice Girls days and just was looking for just one more  Zig-A-Zig Ha. 

Regardless, she did that model-like turn there on the red carpet and … RING A DING DING!

Well, I can tell you that  Mr. V (and I suspect more than a few photographers) is very, very happy.  Before he’d even called me, he’d downloaded the pics and added them to his ever-expanding collection. 

So Ginger/ Geri ….tell us what you wanted, what you really really wanted … when you showed us your sexy little ass? 

On second thought, just never you mind.  Because it really is none of our damned business.  And you are stunning, with or without the upskirt shot.  But that won’t stop the Upskirt Kinksters from hoping and wishing. 

I mean a dirty boy has got to do what a dirty boy has got to do!

xo, Angela