Thanks to my good friend, Jay, for sending these exclusive smoking pictures from his labor of love, Alta Smoking. If you’re the kind of guy who gets off watching gorgeous, sexy women smoking, then you simply must check out Alta Smoking, where Jay does what he does best. Which happens to be providing his members with always exclusive, always original and always very hot content. A nice FREE sampling of what’s inside is available, including a very sexy video of a naughty girl lighting up. (Gotta love those naughty girls!)

Another good thing about Jay is that he updates often–there is always something new. You may recall my interview with Jay and its companion piece, Look Out Leg Show, in which I review his other site, Alta Heels. Both are required reading if you want to know where he finds all those lovely girls and why his members are so loyal.

Obviously, I’m a fan. I don’t have to tell you about the overabundance of sleazy operators out there. So is it any wonder I find it refreshing to see sexy content provided by an ethical business man who believes the customer deserves a lot of bang (plus a whole lot of snap, crackle and pop) for his buck?

Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em…

xo, Angela

Readers should know by now that I have a column at Sex Kitten. A great gang of girls are the center of attention over there, with the occasional male showing up for support and/or commentary and/or their own articles.

Although I’ll never measure up to Dorothy Parker or break bread with the likes of Alice Walker, I do like to write and Gracie is either kind enough or crazy enough–probably a little of both–to let do my thing, with very little intervention on her part…thank goodness. Structure, for me is a motherfucker, I don’t even usually make appointments for my nails or hair. I just drop in and expect them to work their magic. My saving grace, the reason they put up with my silliness, is my charming personality. And it might have something to do with the fact that I am an above average tipper. Just maybe.

Anyway, I wrote this piece, “When the Muse Wants to Fuck,” which had been very well received over at the Cat House. And I thought that was the end of it. But Kitten belongs to this blog club or something–I’ve never quite figured out how it works–called Sugasm. Seems that every week voters pick the best blog entries of the week. And my Muse piece was in the top three of issue 98! WOW! I wonder if I’ll get a cash prize. Or maybe a tiara and new car? Just kidding.

Actually, I’m stoked and I hope you take time to read it. It is one of my own personal favorites.

***

He’s baaaack! Pervert Savant, bless his pea-pickin’ heart, just sent me Chapter IV of Lingerie on the Razorwire, and it is unbelievably funny and downright brilliant. Why this guy isn’t writing for a living is beyond me. I also talked with PS today and he was his jolly and articulate self. I could listen to him for hours. He says he’ll be back soon. He is still having PC issues, but expects to have them corrected in the near future. He actually typed this chapter on his office PC. He charges by the hour. Wonder who he billed for that? Anyway, I’ll be publishing it in the next few days, so stay tuned.

***

A few questions (click the linkage if your answer is YES).

1. Do you absolutely fucking adore a woman who digs lingerie?
2. Does it take a smart woman to be a truly good Dominatrix?
3. Is cuckolding catching on as an acceptable kink?
4. Can good guys ever really finish first?
5. Did you know Shakespeare is still alive and slinging porn?
6. Can the human spirit thrive in prison?
7. Is it possible to be a good boy and one kinky motherfucker?
8. Does a girl who can talk sports turn you on?

***

Also, I am going to be featuring another story by Porno Person soon. He writes the dirtiest erotica, while I tend to save most of seriously nasty stuff for the kink-O-phone. So I like to put some of his beautifully filthy and seriously kinky fantasies here once in a while. It’s good to give this blog a good shaking up now and again. Dontcha think?

***

And to answer a question I get all the time: Yes, I know I link to people who don’t link to me. I don’t link for popularity or creating a “Google” presence; the linkage you find to the right of this blog is hand-picked by me for my readers. It is to benefit them, not me. People find me easily enough without me sacrificing my personal and professional integrity. So why screw with a good thing? Huh?

Okay, baby…I am history.

Until the next time.

xo, Angela

As you should know by now, it isn’t often that I write about my callers. I am very serious about client confidentiality and keeping my callers safe…even though they sometimes prefer I didn’t (that would be in the instance of Consensual Sexual Blackmail–to be addressed in a later entry). But then there is David Webb.

David Webb is, of course, an alias. Mr. Webb may be a pervert, but he certainly is no dummy. Like any healthy American male (and female, dontcha know?), Mr. Webb likes to masturbate. In fact he likes to masturbate a lot.

But David does it a little differently. It’s sorta like the in-famous jerking to the famous…with a twist. The twist being that Mr. Web specifically tugs his tube to a certain faction of the glitterati which includes cheerleaders, news and anchor women, a smidgen of starlets, and a sprinkle of porn stars. And even a few women from his real life. What type of fantasies fuel his jerk-off jubilees? Here’s one with Ricki Lake starring as David’s Sex Ed Teacher.

What put the tick in this man’s ticktock? Frankly, I’m still trying to figure him out. Soft-spoken and polite, David is incredibly sweet natured. But he is stroking from the minute I pick up the phone. We could be talking about the weather or sports — it doesn’t matter to him. I am pretty sure it turns him on that me or some other PSO — my impression is that he talks to quite a few — “catches” him “doing it.” He wants someone to know; after all it isn’t like he is going to get any feedback from the current object of his, *ahem* affection.

I am not being the least bit transpontine in saying that Mr. Webb is somewhat of an uber pervert in that, although there is a demographic of men who fantasize about famous women, he has to be the only guy who regularly spanks his monkey to the morning news. He actually has a “line-up” he watches before going to the office. In fact, you can track exactly how, when and why he “did it” at Kitten Hate, a site I suggested he join which tracks members’ orgasms, where he has is very own page. In his first three days as a member, he’d chalked up fifteen solo orgasms, tripping the light fantastic with Portia de Rossi, Robin Meade and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders Squad, among others. Lots of others.

Crediting Gillian Anderson as his muse (he took to heart her response to an interviewer’s rather innocuous question: “Y’know, whatever gets your rocks off, as far as I’m concerned. It doesn’t bother me. If I felt it was actually harming anybody, I might say something about it. But from what I understand, it’s not. It’s just people having fun and getting off. Besides, I have no control over it anyway.”), our Spew Master even started a Yahoo group, Celebrity Masturbation, which, while no longer active, has spawned a plethora of yikes!-minded groups, blogs, message boards and forums.

Although my meter is fantasy, Mr. Web obviously marches to the beat (beat it, beat it, beat it) of a different drum. He really doesn’t let me weave one of my fantastically dirty chimeras when we talk, opting instead to tell me what’s UP with him, if ya know what I mean. It is a most interesting conversation and I must say –due to his always charming and pleasant demeanor– one I look forward to.

I may be interviewing David Web soon. I am fond of him and he greatly intrigues me.

News at Eleven. (wink)

xo, Angela

…with a little help from my friends. And they are simply marvelous.

Lawyer Guy: Well, he’s a caller, a buddy, a lawyer (of course)…and he sent me this very funny joke:

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”

“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”

“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”

“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us, also.”

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”

“Bring them all, as well, ” the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”

Gracie Passette & Entourage: Yeah, I had a birthday (8/15). And no wish list! Doesn’t every red-blooded PSO have a wish list? Not this one. I let this quietly slip by because I really didn’t want a big fuss, but Gracie begged, so I let her quietly announce it…thanks, Kittens! I actually spent the day at the hospital with my mother … she needed me more than my birthday cake did. And I received some very nice unexpected gifts and tips … thanks guys (you know who you are!)

Jeremy Edwards: You must remember Jeremy, AKA Jerotic? The fab writer who is oh so very naughty in all the right ways? I’ve written about him and featured his stories on more than one occasion….because, well, I like him a lot. He is a kind and generous friend to Zen Fetish, and I simply love having him stop by: To tell us the latest news, or share a randy little story, or even just for tea and crumpets. Not that I know what a crumpet is. But for Jeremy I would certainly comb the town and search every bakery until I found a crumpet or two or three.

As I’ve previously noted, Jeremy certainly gets around. And we all know the man has magic in each and every one of his dirty little fingertips. Oh, how I love those fingertips! It seems that Jeremy is making new friends over at a divinely inspired blog, Lust Bites (more about this later), where in a piece titled, Spouse-Sharing, Knicker-wetting, Flying Fucks, and Other Scenes of Amorous Tenderness, he asks and answers with elegant locution what turns out to be a not-so-rhetorical question of himself: Am I a “romantic?” Which, in turn, answers the question for all of us, Can kink and romance inhabit the same bed?

What do you think? Is he? Can they? If you’ve followed his work (and I have), you already know the answer. But it sure is fun having Jeremy spell it out with that same whimsical, sexy sweetness that permeates and percolates his erotic fiction. Hubba Hubba!

Sweat Shop Sissy: SSS is another Zen Fetish buddy, whose sweeter than sweet blog actually proves Jeremy’s contention that Kink and Romance can most definitely inhabit the same bed…and even thrive. Because Mr. Sissy Man is living it: An everyday working Joe who loves his wife and family deeply and just happen to wear panties…and it turns the Missus on! Ever so kind, he recently sent me this very funny link (be my guest, do click!) which proves that even men in lingerie LOVE BLOW JOBS!

Libby the Libertine: Speaking of Blow Jobs, Libby (of SexPros), who is a fellow columnist (I’m officially on hiatus, but not for long) at Sex Kitten, recently sucked the most famous cock in the world and possibly of all times? Surely I don’t need to tell you who this cock belonged to? Well…none other than Ron Jeremy, himself! Want all the juicy, naughty details? READ ALL ABOUT IT! I really love what Gracie had to say about this particular (mighty giddy…can you blame her?) confessional: Gawd, I luv you, Libby. Who else is gonna call me at 2 a.m. and say, “Guess whose dick I had in my mouth?” ROFL

Mistress V: Just a quick note here (I tend to go on when it comes to this lady. Aren’t you proud of the restraint I’m showing today?) Have you seen her Fetish Heat Video in which she publicly humiliates a sissy? Well, then, go there now. She is so damn hot! No “pretender to the throne,” this Fetish Mistress.

Lust Bites: I’m smitten. Accordingly, I’ve added this awesome blog to my links under Ethical Smut. A lot is happening over at Lust Bites (The blog on everyone’s lips.) It’s an upbeat hub of activity with a a gaggle (that’s a horde with attitude) of excellent regular writers discussing and opining on all things smut-O-licious…and tossing in a healthy dose of Brain Porn (that means you have to read with one hand and, well…do whatever with the other) for good measure. Plus Guest Bloggers! What a deal! And every inch of it is smart writing. Oh, and did I mention all the Freebies and Give-Aways?

Like I said…I get by with a little help from my friends.xo, Angela

…has its way with you whether you want it to or not.

I live online as a somewhat frisky and perpetually perfect figment of many men’s imperfect imaginations. Even from this side of the telephone I’ve always thought this a bit unfair to the everyday women in the everyday lives of my callers. It’s not so hard to imagine being the woman on the other side of the kink-O-phone, because in my everyday life, I am that woman, myself. I am not always talking dirty or in the mood for kink. Unlike a wife or girlfriend or significant other, I can just sign off, when I’d rather read a book or see a movie.

So I do live a life outside of the kink-O-phone and –surprise– it is not always pretty or happy or perfect. Which happens to be the case right now. Someone I care about deeply is going through some very tough times. So in lieu of making money I’ve been being a friend. But you know what? There is always more money. Always. But there isn’t always a next time when it comes to matters of the heart. And I am being where I need to be.

I know quite a few of you have been trying to reach me and I will be around as much as I can. You can always write (zenfetish@angelastlawrence.com) or arrange a call. I will respond, one way or the other. And I really will be putting in some full phone days in the very near future.

In the meantime, a moiety of possibilities:

• Creepy Older Guy: This is a new blog by a caller who is NOT creepy at all. By default, my callers are never creeps, dontcha know? In fact, this caller happens to be, as you you will see in reading by his blog(in which he addresses “sexual addiction, bad recovery, rage, culture and a certain undeniable sweetness”), certainly wise and even a bit wonderful.
• Monk-ee business!
• Talk Dirty To Me: Overheard at the STD Clinic
• Have you ever wanted to read Venus in Furs?
• I want a Prezzle. Will somebody please buy me one?
• Food for Thought from The Professor: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof = Poached Pussy
• Sexy Quotes collected by me, me, me.
• Another Caller’s blog: Prurient Interests Very good stuff and much fun to read.
• Let’s move to Transylvania, vy don’t ve, dahlink?
• Adult webmasters are welcome to list their sites at Polyfetishist: A Directory of Erotic Pluralism. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
• Would you like to learn to talk dirty, yet command respect?
• In answer to the letters I received from Carly, Anna, Star, Kathy Q., Misty, Lizzie G., and Sugar Baby: A good place to start if you are interested in the adult industry is at Sexy Jobs. Read here for some very good advice/info regarding PSO jobs.
• Some people just bitch, bitch, bitch! Geeze….
• If you find yourself on the servile side of sexual shenanigans, I cannot urge you enough to check out Richard, a most erudite and wise sub-slave.
• And if you’ve got the need to talk dirty right here, right now and I’m no where in sight, may I recommend Isabel Blyss. She’s new on the block and ready, willing and able. Call her before her prices go up. Tell her Angela sent you and she just might be extra nice.

See Ya.

xo, Angela