As I’ve said before, I really don’t pay that much attention to my stats here at Zen Fetish. Some who know me have oft said that there’s a bit of Scarlett O’Hara in me.  And I wouldn’t disagree.  If I’m in the right mood, I might even admit to a WHOLE LOTTA Scarlett.  Hey, it seems to work for me, so why fix what’s not broken.

But sometimes I do get around to checking out the Zen Fetish back office.  I really don’t know why I don’t do it more often, except for the fact that there is a whole lot of stuff on a daily basis vying for my attention.  And — fiddle dee dee! — isn’t observing and analyzing web site data someone else’s job?  Because it certainly isn’t mine.  While I do wear a lot of hats being the Phone Sex  Diva in charge of this rodeo, there are certain things which should ALWAYS be delegated, particularly if there are numbers and/or any kind of statistical analyzing involved. 

So my Curious Georges, wanna see? 

• small dick deep throat
• face slap
• mistress
• fetish phonesex
• cock tease
• mistress sissy
• cuckold types (and your type would be?)
  
• reasons for cock sucking
• Penis Whipping <evil grin>
• kinky phone sex (moi?)
  
• phone sex
• phonesex "angela"
• bdsm quotes for Mistress
• things to say to humiliate a small penis <batting eyelashes>
  
• small dick deepthroat
• humiliation small penis
• domina stern (she’s my buddy)
• phonesex, phone sex, adult chat
• renderings, bdsm
• slapping fetish (► oh my, did I say that?)
• high end phone sex
• sexy chat with girls
• cuckold types
• watch fetish
• deepthroat on small dick
• cuckold story archive
• humiliating hotwife
  
• femdom ageplay
• sneaker porn
• phone sex tips (► because I’m a know-it-all)
• penis punishment
• cock leash mistress (well, you would be more obedient)
• haircut fetish porn
• "fuck my cunt mouth"
• cross dresser for angela (‘cuz I likes ’em)
• porn pocket books
• deep throating small dick
• penis punishment
• Penis slapping and orgasm denial
• face slaps sadomasochism
• small dick humiliation (now would I do that?)
  
• cuckold sad story (Don’t worry, Mister, it’s only a fantasy.)
• phonesex
• teasing handjob
• sneaker porn
• teenage cuckolds
• highendphonesex.com reviews ( … I dunno :-/ )
• erotic blackmail
• cuckold
• phonesex roleplay (check HERE)
• fetish video
• porn punishment
• submissive face slapping
• deep throat little cock
• office sex fantasy
• sexy girl
• "cock-leash conditioning" (of course I ALWAYS train cock)
• phone sex, fetish

When I do bother to look, I see a lot of the same stuff,  some of which I find either mundane ( perhaps I’m jaded?) or predictable, like the phone sex stuff.  Some things make me giggle; remember Cock-Sucking Love Bugs?  (Which, by the way,  still makes an appearance every once in a while.)  Some things confuse me. 

Such as …

Did you happen to notice the green text?  Huh?  What?  That phrase, deep throat small dick, which is frequently showing up (as you can see) in various constructs, just doesn’t make sense to me.  How does one deep throat an undersized penis?  How is that humanly possible?  Is it wishful thinking on the part of a secret society of er, um "under-endowed" gentlemen who’ve banded together in search of the girl whose tonsils they can tickle?  That sounds like a reasonable explanation, doesn’t it? Because little penises rarely get sucked, let alone have the opportunity — not to mention ability — to deep dive into a willing mouth.  I mean, after all, why would she?

Or …

Maybe it’s the same guy?   Day after, night after night … searching, searching, searching.  Tucking his sad little member between his thighs as he huddles over his keyboard and types away, jumping from Search Engine to Search Engine, scanning forums and chat rooms, continuously rearranging his verbiage.  She must be out there.  I just have to keep looking.  Somewhere there is a woman who can swallow my teenie weenie. Oh where, oh where is the midget girl with the thimble throat?

  😉

xo, Angela

If you aren’t watching the debate tonight, shame on you!  Here’s a list of the latest key words surfers are using to find this little ol’ blog of mine.  Interesting, eh?

cuckold fantasies written
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phone sex
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Zenfetish
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spanked tushies
penis humiliation
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face slapping fetish
orgasm denial games
phone sex control
free humilation of small penis
tease & denial
face-slapping bdsm
doctor small penis humiliation fetish
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tease
bdsm mistress
denial tease
face slap fetish
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Mistress FACE SLAPPING
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mistress phonesex
latex clad story
face-slapping lesbian
penis humiliation
erotic domination
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the cutest butt plug
phone sex

Somewhere, somehow, someway and a few years ago, a caller/client described me as "The Original Catholic School Girl Gone Bad."  I thought it was apt enough and liked it so much that I've used his exact phrasing here and there when promoting myself. 

It fits me and is more or less the truth about me when you get right down to it.  I even have a recorded fantasy titled as such, which is a re-enactment of a somewhat true-life adventure of mine in which, while in Jesuit college, I had a brief affair with my college professor.  I say "somewhat true-life adventure" because the fantasy is much sexier than what really transpired. 

Although many might find the fact that he did get his very first blow job ever from me kinda-sorta sexy.  And the novelty of a pair of young lips around his cock combined with his lackluster (and blow job-less) marriage probably goes a long way in explaining why he went a bit off the deep end and everything went seriously wacky.  The ending to that particular liaison was extremely unpleasant and rather scandalous-messy.  I don't recommend it. 

The thing is that I adore men and always have.  And I've always been able to wrap them around my finger.  This isn't necessarily a comment on my sexual prowess; it's more about insecurity and being the daughter of an absentee, alcoholic father.  I spent three of my four years of college in therapy addressing these issues, and I still am working on them.

But I did say that I'm working on the issues.  I'm far from cured.  It's a slippery slope with one step forward and two steps back.  And a girl has got to have some fun after all.  I mean it is called dysFUNctional, after all.  So why not?  And I am in the business of FemDom phone sex.  

There is something about a Catholic school girl that just drives guys crazy.  Is it the pleated, plaid skirt?  Perhaps the cute knee socks?  Or maybe, right at the beginning, something in our baptismal waters acts like fairy dust to change us into stupendous cock teases?  Probably, when you get right down to it, all Catholic school girls are destined to go bad, sooner or later.  At least a little bit.

Of course, the phrase "going bad" is very subjective.  I take it to mean going bad in a very good way.  I like being bad in a good way and I like being good at being bad.  Maybe we "enlightened" all-grown-up catholic girls should be known as porn-again catholic girls.  We got our training and knowledge regarding the male animal while growing up amidst the rituals, sacraments and orthodoxy of our faith; but as young ladies figuring out the very real advantage women have over men (we have it, you want it) we come fully into bloom in a very feminine way.  Our religious training is part of who we are.  Only now we use it to our advantage.

Which means applying the same methods of indoctrination with which we grew up, in perhaps a gentler way, so that our male conquests become our sexual captives.  We more or less create our own little mini-religion in which, for all intents and purposes, we are little Catholic Goddesses pulling heart strings and cock leashes with equal glee.  You see, we already know that religion can be a powerful thing.  Just ask St. Dominic Loricatus. 

Kneeling?  We wrote the book on it.  Confessing your sins?  We understand the need.  Renewal through sacrifice?  We've got you covered and will show how to do it just right.  Acts of contrition?  You can bet there will be a lot of those.  Holy Communion?  With us?  Hmmm … I do think at least a stretch of chastity might be required for that.  Maybe even a bit of sweetly persuasive CBT.  

Say it with me:  In the name of the cotton panties, saddle shoes and plaid skirts, God bless little Catholic School girls all grown up. 

Now don't you feel better?

xo, Angela