My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. -Rodney Dangerfield

*****

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his big pistol with the an 8 shot clip, and yelled, “Who in here has been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, “You need more ammo.”

*****

Randall is leaving his office for the day, when a man calls to him, “You’re a cuckold.” Randall ignores him, but goes home and tells his wife, “tonight outside my office building, some asshole called me a cuckold.” His wife replies: “So what? You’re not going to listen to some random idiot in the street, are you? “No, I guess not,” Randall says, putting his arms around her and giving her a kiss. They spend a quiet evening  together and soon retire. The next evening, as Randall is again leaving the office, the same man is waiting for him and calls to him, “You’re a damn tattletale too.”

*****

Midieval Cuck Joke: Francesco Quartnense, a Florentine merchant, resided in Genoa with his wife and family. His children were thin and lanky, while those of the Genoese are generally healthy and hardy. He was asked one day why his children were so spare and of such a weak constitution, it being the reverse with the young Genoese. “The reason is easily given, ” he said. “I work alone at manufacturing my children, but you have quite a number of assistants in the making of yours.” It is fact that, soon after their wedding, the Genoese take again to the sea, and leave their wives, for many years in succession, to the care of other men, as they say.

*****

*****

Hope I made you giggle!

xo, Angela

She is sleeping quietly in her crib. I am propped-up in bed reading. I listen to her breathe. I check the clock. I begin to wonder how late you will be.

You are hunting tonight. We stay safe in our den, relaxing or sleeping or taking time for mundane chores. In our bed I listen to every sound until I hear the door.

The door closes and I can hear what I have longed to hear. My warrior walks the length of the wooden hall. Her heels ring out like hobnails once might have done. Louder and closer she comes.

She enters, radiant, beautiful, and commanding. Her heels come off. Her dress comes off. She scoops our daughter from her crib and carries her to bed. She feeds. Her mother has already fed.

Was her prey young or old? Did he find satisfaction or frustration? Her mood is not changed by the feelings of the prey. She lured him towards her. Maybe she smiled. Maybe she frowned. Maybe she spoke too loud. Maybe she spoke too soft. He chased, unsure, too sure, but he chased. Thinking he was hunting, he was hunted. Thinking he was making his move, he was conquered.

The baby has fed. You hand her to me and I carry her, sleeping and satisfied, to her crib. I return to your bed. You are satisfied but alert. A motion of your hand and I stop. Your breasts are bare and swollen with milk. I kneel, naked and hungry before you. Your hand is moving and so am I.

I approach. I tremble. I quake. I throb. I salivate.

You hold your right breast in your two hands.

You speak: drink from me!

I fall upon my task with ardor and greed. With my mouth, I suck. I lick. I knead. I lap. I lavish. My tongue is fast and slow, gentle and firm. I take short and long passes across your nipples. They are tender. They reward me. As your milk flows into my mouth, your hand wrap around my cock. I am in ecstasy without fulfillment. I want more and more. Tender swollen breasts and warm sweet milk on my lips compete with the firm gentle fast slow scratching soothing actions of your hand on my cock.

I am chasing and chased.

I feed upon you.

You smile, victorious, another prize taken by the huntress.

………………….

just a lil kinky story from a fanboy

Hey!  I didn’t say it.  The fellow who typed it into Google’s search engine said it (see red text below).  But I sure do wonder what he was specifically trying to hunt down.  I dunno.  Is there such a thing as a love bug in the animal kingdom?  Was he looking for a hot and steamy twist on bestiality?  Something like an arthropodous idee fixe?  A fetish for romantic vermin that will crawl all over his cock and suck it at the same time? 

I haven’t a clue and, quite honestly, I’m not sure I even want to know.

Anyway, as I’ve noted before, I do occasionally gather the initiative to take a look at my website stats.  Most of the time, I could care less.  I’m a poet at heart — the frippery of data bores me to absolutely no end.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.  I’ve neither the time nor inclination to extricate, investigate, evaluate or differentiate. 

I just don’t see a need to over-complicate this.  After all, everything is working just fine the way it is:  You find me, I find you, it’s love-at-first-site and we live happily ever after. That is, at least until I kick you to the curb.  So …  why mess with a good thing?

BUT …

As a RESPONSIBLE business woman I should be paying attention.  So once in a blue moon, I take a gander.  Which I did.  And now I’m done looking for another few months.  Or two.  Or three.  Maybe four or five.  What am I going to do with this info?  Absolutely nothing.  Except let you take a peek, too:

• fetish girl with sneakers
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Shocked?  Intrigued?  Disgusted?  All I did was copy and paste.  YOU found ME here.  I was just blogging away, minding my own business.  What a naughty bunch of bad, bad boys you are.  Now you’re here and just what am I supposed to do with you?  Maybe I should force you to pick something from your own list?  Or maybe I should have fudged the list and added things I’d decidedly like you to do.  Let me think about that and get back to you. 

And for the record, I’m not into bestiality.  Particularly of the sort involving creepy-crawly arachnids of an sort.   So disgusting. I mean I’m the girl who screams when I see an ants.

Then again, if your into be squashed like a bug …. call me!  *wink*

xo, Angela

Okay, I know for many of you, this just isn’t your particular Cup of Kink.  Then again, there are those of you who would think you’d died and gone to heaven if you found yourself alone with this leather-clad stud-bull in a room, a dungeon or even the bathroom of a low-brow bar on the wrong side of the tracks.  You’d just feel so dirty, wouldn’t you?

I found this pic over at BDM Romance where Richard, Zen’s own Submissive Savant, and  who’s kinda-sorta on the prowl, is sounding kind of frustrated.  I guess I should have warned him about Stupid Penis Sydrome.

And speaking of Richard, you really should read his Sissified Orgasm Denial Cuckolded Small Penis Humiliation Chastity meme, which includes what I do believe is a first, Autoerotic Penis Humiliation:  My penis is smaller than you’re penis!  It’s frickin’ hilarious.

_________________________

Phone Sex Quote of the Day:

(from Mr. M. — a very special guy who while enjoying a healthy round of FemDom PhoneSex, most certainly doesn’t like Erotic Humilation and Financial Domination)

If I wanted someone to call me a loser, take all my money and treat me like shit, I would still be married. 

xo, Angela

If you aren’t watching the debate tonight, shame on you!  Here’s a list of the latest key words surfers are using to find this little ol’ blog of mine.  Interesting, eh?

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