Awareness

by John Austin

her gaze is so constant,
our every move
watched
with such affection,
a ceaseless vigil
without condition
or agenda,
silent,
patient,
unrelenting in her
embrace.

There is endless room in
the heart of this lover,
infinite space for whatever
foolishness we may
toss her way.

But she is also
crafty, this one-
a thieft who will steal away
everything we ever cherished,
all our beliefs,
all our ideas,
all our philosophies,
until nothing is left
but her shimmering
wakefulness,
this simple love
for what is.

————————

This poem was sent to me and I cannot seem to track down the poet. I think the poem speaks to what happens to a man when a woman truly mesmerizes and enchants him: he is transformed, cleansed, reborn. I’m not sure this is what the Mr. Austin was trying to say, but such is the nature of art, that whatever the artist’s intent, we experience it through our own prism.

And yes, “thieft” is a word. Who knew?

xo, Angela

Well, I guess I’ve been a bad girl.

… a very bad girl!  Because even Lyndee came looking for me.  And OMG!  The emails waiting for me this a.m. 

Sorry I’ve been away for a while.  Alas!  Life happens and it just sometimes kicks your ass.  As it just did mine.  A family member was in the hospital (all is well now), a college friend attempted suicide (she’s okay now and getting help), and I’d volunteered to do some fun raising for a cause near and dear to my heart.  Concurrently, my PC was having more issues than I cared to deal with.  It all hit at once … and I just needed time to regroup.  Which for me, since I spend sooo much time at this PC, meant getting totally away from it.  And so I did.  I wasn’t anywhere near this blog or my email.  I did take some calls here and there, but mostly I was MIA

Which …

Brings up the occasional happenstance of PHONE SEX BURNOUT.  Not a particularly popular topic when reading Phone Sex Blogs.  Because we’re all Goddesses, dontcha know?  And we never have anything close to "real life" happening around us.  We’re too busy being perfect, beautiful, sexy and always in THE MOOD.  Ummmm.  Sure. 

Anyway, for the rest of you:  Yeah, it happens.  And when life throws you a bunch of curve balls all at once, well … what’s a girl to do?  You do what I did and have done and will continue to do:  You take a break and incorporate some personalized TLC into your life.   Which, come to think of it, can be rather Goddess-like, when that TLC consists of not only some quiet reading time, but a trip to the day spa and nail salon.  And some shoe shopping.  There just has to be shoe shopping in any female’s emotional rehabilitation.  Right?

In all seriousness, I do think it makes sense to take a break now and then.  Those of you who know me well, know I am really into health — emotional, physical and spiritual.  I take a shitload of vitamins and herbs, exercise regularly and struggle with my spiritual fuck-ups daily.  The simple and bottom line is balance.  An easy concept, but lots of work to pull off when you tend to be a bit obsessive and hyper-active, as I am.  Yes I am.  I know it, I own it.  It is what makes some of you love me, and it is what wears me down at times.

My callers should be happy that I take that break when I need it.  After all, if I’m not with you one hundred percent, why should I be taking your money?  It’s not fair to you.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s downright unethical.  When I’m with you, you deserve all of me.  You deserve my undivided attention, my passion for your particular fantasy, and my commitment to making that fantasy absolutely glitter for you.  It’s what I strive to do each and every time.  If I’m not up to my own standards, then I shouldn’t be taking your calls.

You know, occasionally, a guy will say to  me, "I wish my girlfriend were more like you," and I always jump to the defense of his wife.  It isn’t her job to be a Goddess.  It is so unfair to compare the woman you love with the fantasy of me or any other Phone Sex Operator, be we Goddesses, MILFs, Barely Legal Teens or whatever.  In fact, many of us are all of those and more; it just depends on where and how you find us.  This is for fun.  Don’t you dare mix it up with your real life and the real women in your life.

The bottom line is that I am a real girl in my everyday life … the girl next door.  I am a sister, a daughter, a friend, even a girlfriend by day and a Goddess by night.  Or sometimes vice verse, but you get the picture.  So the girl next door took some time off to be there for the people I love and who needed me.  But I’m here.  Yup, right where you expected to find me.

Oh, and I’m back in Goddess mode … so don’t fuck with me.

Or else!

xo, Angela

_____________

FYI … I will be working Saturday and Sunday.  Today I’ve got to go to the gym and hit the beauty salon.  Then it’s dinner and a show … a girl’s night out with a good friend.  You can bet I’ll be having steak tonight, yeah baby!

ALSO … I am messing around with Twitter and may be putting it up here at my blog so you can follow me a bit closer and know when I’m available for calls.  Let me play with it a bit more and we’ll see how it goes.

ONE MORE THING … Regarding all the emails in my inbox:  I just have too much to do today, but will get with you tomorrow.  I promise!  So hang tight.

Sex Goddess

by Maggie Estep

I am THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
so don’t mess with me
I’ve got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can’t have any
’cause they’re all mine
’cause I’m
the SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

"Hey," you may say to yourself,
"who the hell’s she tryin’ to kid,
she’s no sex goddess,"
But trust me,
I am
if only for the fact that I have
the unabashed gall
to call
myself a SEX GODDESS,
I mean, after all,
it’s what so many of us have at some point thought,
we’ve all had someone
who worshipped our filthy socks
and barked like a dog when we were near
giving us cause
to pause and think: You know, I may not look like much
but deep inside, I am a SEX GODDESS.

Only
we’d never come out and admit it publicly
well, you wouldn’t admit it publicly
but I will
because I am
THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

I haven’t always been
a SEX GODDESS
I used to be just a mere mortal woman
but I grew tired of sexuality being repressed
then manifest
in late night 900 number ads
where 3 bodacious bimbettes
heave cleavage into the camera’s winking lens and sigh:

"Big Girls oooh, Bad Girls oooh, Blonde Girls oooh,
you know what to do, call 1-900-UNMITIGATED BIMBO ooooh."

Yeah
I got fed up with the oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
I got fed up with it all
so I put on my combat boots
and hit the road with my bag full of SEX TOYS
that were a vital part of my SEX GODDESS image
even though I would never actually use
my SEX TOYS
’cause my being a SEX GODDESS
it isn’t a SEXUAL thing
it’s a POLITICAL thing
I don’t actually have SEX, no
I’m too busy taking care of
important SEX GODDESS BUSINESS,
yeah,
I gotta go on The Charlie Rose Show
and MTV and become a parody
of myself and make
buckets full of money off my own inane brand
of self-righteous POP PSYCHOLOGY
because my pain is different
because I am a SEX GODDESS
and when I talk,
people listen
why ?
Because, you guessed it,
I AM THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
and you’re not.

***

She’s a most astute observer, this poetess Maggie Estep.  I giggled and giggled and giggled some more.  Bitchy would get the why of it.  So would a few readers.  

What?  I’m so glad you asked.  Yes,  there is a website.  And lots of books.  I’m kinda-sorta digging this anthology. 

And Ms. Estep likes dogs.  All good people should like dogs.  I like dogs.  Except … I’m just too pussy to step up to the responsibility.  Which explains Fredrick the Cross-Dressing Cat, who sleeps on my hip most nights. 

why?

because I AM A SEX GODDESS

and you’re not.

xo, Angela

A Soulful Christmas with James Brown

I’m terribly impressed with the quality of women who’ve recently thrown their feisty lil’ hats into the phone sex arena.  Makes a gal proud, dontcha know?  But today we are going to focus on just one of these luscious and enticing Femme Fatales  — the one, the only, the unique and ubiquitous — Darling Nikki Nines, a gun-toting Fem Dom Phone Sex Goddess, who is making waves, breaking hearts and causing grown men to weep … or at least grovel and beg and plead.  And we just can’t ever have to much of that.  Can we now, boys?

Ms. Nikki is the fully-loaded package:  edgy, thoughtful (read her brilliant meditation on Goth, Gothic architecture and BDSM in which she observes, "Gothic isn’t all dark pessimism; like the architecture, the true philosophy of ‘Gothic’ reaches for the heavens." — oh, how I already love this woman), and the personification of a Femme Fatale.  Gracie Passette, duly impressed by her blog (as we all are, it seems) recently interviewed the mysteriously exotic Nikki, an interview well worth reading.  Because this lady is the real deal, with incredible insight and a history to back her up.

One observation Nikki makes in the interview:

Well, D/s relationships aren’t that different from any vanilla relationship. There are trust issues. For example, upping the ante on humiliation and renting your lover out to others is a trust risk. And a sub who doesn’t like corporal punishment isn’t going to be any happier going from words to spanking — and then to canings. But lots of folks think BDSM bed death can only be cured like that. But you can’t up the ante at the risk of your personal connection & relationship.

And then there’s the matter of sheer exhaustion on the part of the Dominant. I’m of the opinion that if there’s any abuse in BDSM, it’s perpetrated by the subs. Many submissives are so "me me me" that it’s exhausting to try to keep up with their demands. Some call this "topping from the bottom," but it’s more than that… It’s not just about the sex, but about the relationship, the love.

You know what — and lots of BDSM folks who live in the mythology & fantasy of power play will get pissed at me here — but even BDSM folks like good old fashioned, tender, affectionate sex now and then. Even plain old functional missionary sex after the nightly news too. Having to create scenes can be tiresome, and when those scenes are continually based on the sub’s needs only? Loss of sexual interest is the least of your problems; now you’ve got resentment & frustration. And if the sub keeps whining? Yeesh.

See what I mean?  Nikki Nines just might be my new crush. 

Hmmm …  Maybe we could gang up on some of  our bad boys.  Yea, I like that idea.  I like it a lot.

Dare to dance with the devil?  Gather your courage, wipe your sweaty palms, assume the position and call Nikki HERE!

xo, Angela