As I’ve said before, I really don’t pay that much attention to my stats here at Zen Fetish. Some who know me have oft said that there’s a bit of Scarlett O’Hara in me.  And I wouldn’t disagree.  If I’m in the right mood, I might even admit to a WHOLE LOTTA Scarlett.  Hey, it seems to work for me, so why fix what’s not broken.

But sometimes I do get around to checking out the Zen Fetish back office.  I really don’t know why I don’t do it more often, except for the fact that there is a whole lot of stuff on a daily basis vying for my attention.  And — fiddle dee dee! — isn’t observing and analyzing web site data someone else’s job?  Because it certainly isn’t mine.  While I do wear a lot of hats being the Phone Sex  Diva in charge of this rodeo, there are certain things which should ALWAYS be delegated, particularly if there are numbers and/or any kind of statistical analyzing involved. 

So my Curious Georges, wanna see? 

• small dick deep throat
• face slap
• mistress
• fetish phonesex
• cock tease
• mistress sissy
• cuckold types (and your type would be?)
  
• reasons for cock sucking
• Penis Whipping <evil grin>
• kinky phone sex (moi?)
  
• phone sex
• phonesex "angela"
• bdsm quotes for Mistress
• things to say to humiliate a small penis <batting eyelashes>
  
• small dick deepthroat
• humiliation small penis
• domina stern (she’s my buddy)
• phonesex, phone sex, adult chat
• renderings, bdsm
• slapping fetish (► oh my, did I say that?)
• high end phone sex
• sexy chat with girls
• cuckold types
• watch fetish
• deepthroat on small dick
• cuckold story archive
• humiliating hotwife
  
• femdom ageplay
• sneaker porn
• phone sex tips (► because I’m a know-it-all)
• penis punishment
• cock leash mistress (well, you would be more obedient)
• haircut fetish porn
• "fuck my cunt mouth"
• cross dresser for angela (‘cuz I likes ’em)
• porn pocket books
• deep throating small dick
• penis punishment
• Penis slapping and orgasm denial
• face slaps sadomasochism
• small dick humiliation (now would I do that?)
  
• cuckold sad story (Don’t worry, Mister, it’s only a fantasy.)
• phonesex
• teasing handjob
• sneaker porn
• teenage cuckolds
• highendphonesex.com reviews ( … I dunno :-/ )
• erotic blackmail
• cuckold
• phonesex roleplay (check HERE)
• fetish video
• porn punishment
• submissive face slapping
• deep throat little cock
• office sex fantasy
• sexy girl
• "cock-leash conditioning" (of course I ALWAYS train cock)
• phone sex, fetish

When I do bother to look, I see a lot of the same stuff,  some of which I find either mundane ( perhaps I’m jaded?) or predictable, like the phone sex stuff.  Some things make me giggle; remember Cock-Sucking Love Bugs?  (Which, by the way,  still makes an appearance every once in a while.)  Some things confuse me. 

Such as …

Did you happen to notice the green text?  Huh?  What?  That phrase, deep throat small dick, which is frequently showing up (as you can see) in various constructs, just doesn’t make sense to me.  How does one deep throat an undersized penis?  How is that humanly possible?  Is it wishful thinking on the part of a secret society of er, um "under-endowed" gentlemen who’ve banded together in search of the girl whose tonsils they can tickle?  That sounds like a reasonable explanation, doesn’t it? Because little penises rarely get sucked, let alone have the opportunity — not to mention ability — to deep dive into a willing mouth.  I mean, after all, why would she?

Or …

Maybe it’s the same guy?   Day after, night after night … searching, searching, searching.  Tucking his sad little member between his thighs as he huddles over his keyboard and types away, jumping from Search Engine to Search Engine, scanning forums and chat rooms, continuously rearranging his verbiage.  She must be out there.  I just have to keep looking.  Somewhere there is a woman who can swallow my teenie weenie. Oh where, oh where is the midget girl with the thimble throat?

  😉

xo, Angela

Co-Education
by Jeremy Edwards

________________________________________________________

If you’re a regular reader, you will remember my dear writer-friend Jeremy Edwards AKA Jerotic.  It’s been a while, but if you liked this charming bit of erotica … well, plug Jerotic or Jeremy Edwards into the search box and you’ll find him here and there along with THIS STORY.   Because I’ve been a fan since day one … and you should be too.  Sweetness and naughtingess and sexiness and kink and playfulness and seduction and — me oh my — how does somebody get it so right?  Every single time?

Like any self-respecting smut-provocateur Jeremy gets around, gleefully spreading the very good news that  "it’s good to be bad."  I don’t have to tell you that this is a philosophy I wholeheartedly embrace, now do I? And, apparently, so do lotsa goodly and smartly erotica writers and fans, ‘cuz their all jumping for joy wherever and whenever Jerotic shows up.  Just read what they have to say, why dontcha?

Best news of all?  Our dear and most appreciated Jerotic has published his first erotic novel, ROCK MY SOCKS OFF.  You can read more about this book and purchase it  HERE.  Go ahead, click that link; don’t be shy.

For up-to-the-minute news (announcements, links, & trivia re. All Things Jerotic), visit and bookmark From Socks To Fedora.  And stay tuned to this blog, because I intend to sweet-talk my most-cherished Jeremy out of many more hot stories for this blog.

xo, Angela

Really, when it’s all said and done, it’s really true that, "it’s only kinky the first time."  I can easily recall every exquisite detail of the first time a boy put me on my hands and knees to have sex.  Oh my, oh my.  I was barely past virginity and I thought I’d be marrying this boy and having babies in the future.  He was a hulking giant (6’4′) of bulk and brawn, and I was a little thing of 105 pounds.  I needed his permission and his man-hungriness lust to encourage me, show me the way.  To teach me to be kinky.  And at that time, being on my hands and knees — naked! — was very kinky, indeed. 

I felt dirty.  I felt slutty.  I felt fucking wonderful.  He could see me, all of me, lusty and lewd and hungry.  Oh, I was so dirty, dirty. dirty.  And he knew it.  And it made his fucking cock so hard to see me losing control like that.  Right there in front of him.  Right there atop my own mother’s coffee table, where he could fondle me and finger me and touch me and eventually … fuck the living daylights out of me.

Later — think of Diane Lane sitting on that bus in ‘Unfaithful’ — over and over again I’d replay what we’d done, how bad I’d been, how dirty and hot I’d felt and how good it was.  Oh it was soooo good to be bad.  It was so damn good and I wanted more, more, more.  And so we continued to learn, explore and stretch our sexuality in new and devious and dirty ways.

My passion (and lust) for that boy eventually waned.  No marriage, no babies.  I was off to college; off to bigger and better things.  I was off to open up the world — open it wide for myself and all my dreams.  It was the only path I could take, but I’m so glad I didn’t know that until it was upon me; that in my innocence and blush of first love, I was able to submerge my "good girl Catholicism" deep into my Delphic heart and learn the joy of "feeling dirty" with this boy so eager to teach me.

What amazes me is that these numbered of years later — internet-enlightened and supposedly sexually wiser than the "free love" generation — so many of us walk one way and talk another when it comes to kinky, fetish-y, dirty-ish S E X.  I know you’re doing it!  I know you’re doing a helluva lot of it!  I specialized in Kinky Phone Sex, Fetish Phone Sex and FemDom Phone Sex.  So don’t you go forgetting that.  Not even for one minute.  I’ve got your number!

Well, er, you’ve got MY number.  Semantics.  Let’s move on.

But really — and I do mean REALLY — think about the porn you access, think about what YOU think about when you masturbate.  I certainly don’t masturbate to vanilla scenarios. NOT EVER.  And I’m pretty sure you don’t either.  Come on … fess up.  You can tell me all about it.  Or maybe you conveniently don’t remember/think about the particular bent piece of brain  candy you were chewing away at the last time it was hands-on solo?

I say "conveniently" because I used to do that.  Guilty as charged!  I’d have this horrifically perverse psycho-drama playing in my head as I, as the boys say, "rubbed one out."  I would get hot and itchy and crazy-lustful.  Which transferred into a seriously out-of-this-world breath-taking orgasm. YUMM-FUCKING-Y!  Then I’d think to myself, you’re a bad girl.  Shame on you. There is something wrong with you.  You are disgusting.  And so I’d promptly and ever-so-efficiently forget it, erase it, deny it.  Gone, gone, gone.

And wouldn’t you know it?  There it would be, right back where it belonged: that bright & shiny Halo right there atop my good little Catholic school girl head.  A little crooked, perhaps, but none the worse for the wear.  Now that all that "naughtiness" was for all intents & purposes erased, I could go about the business of being conventionally normal.  Just like everybody else.  Which is quite the trick isn’t it?

The slippery part of this business is that — when our halos are back in place — we’ve really do forget.  It’s an intermittent amnesia of sorts (because you can bet we’ll revisit those vile scenarios and nasty thoughts sooner rather than later … and often) which affords us quite the lofty spot from which to express our shock, our disgust at "those other people" with the "weird fetishes" and "forbidden desires" and "perverse kinks."

Which is just silliness. Because one man’s Panty Fetish is another man’s BDSM is another man’s Body Worship is another man’s CFNM is another man’s Strap-On Training is another man’s Public Masturbation, is another man’s CBT is another man’s Forced-Bi is another man’s Castration is another man’s Puppy Training is another man’s Cuckolding is another man’s Tease & Denial is another man’s …

You get my point?  Don’t you?

This doesn’t mean we’re running around every day salivating and humping and chomping our fetish fangs all over the place.  I mean that wouldn’t look very nice at church now, would it?  Plus it would make for a lot of dry cleaning.  In my REAL LIFE I  have tender and romantic sex, with the occasional wild and crazy encounter.  And if you want to know more about that … well, you’re going to have to at least buy me dinner.  🙂

But I am quite serious when I iterate that all of us have THE RIGHT to Feel Dirty.  It’s just one part of our multi-faceted sexual selves.  If we deny this part of us, harness our super powers (prayer, hobbies, nightly bouts of self-flagellation) and Just Say No to the Kryptonite (get out of my head, lewd thoughts and craven images), we’re really just perpetuating out-dated psycho-sexual mythology and carnal misconceptions.  And then inflicting this erroneous crap on ourselves and others. 

As a wise woman once told me:  Thou shalt not should on thyself.  I thought it was good advice at the time and I’ve always kept it handy for the occasional crisis of conscience. I would just hope we remember to not should on others, either.  

How about this for a bumper sticker: Eradicate Sexual Obscurantism! 

xo, Angela

Why is it that sneaking a peek is hotter than having it all spread out like a Thanksgiving banquet right in front of you?  Probably because it seems naughtier:  catching a glimpse of the main dish, when you weren’t even offered a trifling, a crumb or even a half-hearted promise to lick the bowl. 

Thanks to Mr. V, a most revered  Grand Master of Upskirt Roleplay,  who reminded me of just how much fun it can be with a long, delicious cock-teasing call today.  And who also, knowing I pay absolutely no attention to Pop Gossip, clued me into to the latest celebrity Peek-A-Boo Faux Pas.   We would, as the Perez Hilton crowd surely knows, be talking about Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell) and her er, um … incident. 

And while even Fox News found it noteworthy, I have a feeling Bill O’Reilly might have something to do with that. I mean we all do remember his Phone Sex Scandal (which, in both my personal and professional judgment, he absolutely sucked at).

Everything started out just hunkey dorey, with  Ms. Halliwell playing it spicey-but-nicey in a chiffon-like red dress when she recently attended the BAFTA British Academy Children’s Awards.  At least at first. 

Could have been the wind, the allignment of stars, even a not-so-talented seamstress.  Or maybe she was missing her Spice Girls days and just was looking for just one more  Zig-A-Zig Ha. 

Regardless, she did that model-like turn there on the red carpet and … RING A DING DING!

Well, I can tell you that  Mr. V (and I suspect more than a few photographers) is very, very happy.  Before he’d even called me, he’d downloaded the pics and added them to his ever-expanding collection. 

So Ginger/ Geri ….tell us what you wanted, what you really really wanted … when you showed us your sexy little ass? 

On second thought, just never you mind.  Because it really is none of our damned business.  And you are stunning, with or without the upskirt shot.  But that won’t stop the Upskirt Kinksters from hoping and wishing. 

I mean a dirty boy has got to do what a dirty boy has got to do!

xo, Angela