FYI:  If you’re wondering where I disappeared to over the weekend, my PC went bonkers and I was off line whilst the boo boos were medicated and everything else got either over-hauled or re-newed.  This included  a new monitor which I’m not so sure is an improvement over the other, but my tech guy tells me I will adjust and sing praises in short time.   I look forward to that epiphany.  

It was nice to come back and see that Pervert Savant’s latest chapter of Lingerie on the Razor Wire inspired my readers to leave commentary.  Thanks for letting us know you dig Biff and the gang.  As most of you noted, PQS can spin quite the tale and I am honored that he has chosen my humble blog as his place to tell this most interesting of stories.

I also noticed that I missed quite a few callers this past weekend and am sending personal emails to each of you.  I look forward to connecting with you soon and do hope you found someone special to talk with in the meantime.  Just not too special.  *wink*

Which, in a round-about-way, brings me to what I thought I’d talk about today:  Phone Sex Fantasies.  Because as unique as human beings are, so goes our fantasies.  Each and every one, no matter the kink, fetish, or desire has it’s own peculiar quirks and turns. 

Ten guys might want a hand job, but:  Mr. A wants tied up.  Mr. B. wants tied up, but also wants three girls at the same time.  Mr. C. dreams of jerking his own cock while his Mistress helps him along.  Mr. D. wants one girl to grind into his face with her panty-covered twat while another girl strokes him intermittently, Mr. E. would like to be masturbated in the bar under the table while his hot wife tells him who she fucked last night.  Mr. F….  Well, you get the picture.

So many fantasies, so little time?  Nah, there’s plenty of time for every one of them.  Today let’s look at what makes for a "quality" phone sex fantasy.  At a later date (possibly even in a series of posts) we can look at specific "niches."

First of all, phone sex is not a monologue:  it is a dialogue.  It takes both the PSO and the caller to really make it work.  Sometimes a caller is too shy or embarrassed to really say what his secret desire is, which is perfectly understandable.  But it can be frustrating on our end.  If we care about what we do and want to do it well for you, we need some markers.  On the other hand, we are the professional in this situation.  You are the client and we should — at least most of the time — be experienced and empathetic enough to help you get comfortable enough to open up at least a little.

So let’s assume we’ve gotten past the small talk/foreplay.  What happens next?  Well, again, this very subjective.  And again, it is the PSO’s responsibility, as the professional provider,  to follow your lead.  Some of you want an intimate, one-on-one interchange with things happening in real time (ie. "stroke your cock for me and rub your anus"), while others prefer to listen to a well-developed scenario, imagining yourself in a "situation" (ie.  your sister-in-law and I have tied you down and are making you watch while we "do" each other).  Still others enjoy intermingling a bit of fantasy with a bit of reality (ie.  stroke that hard cock for me while I tell you about me, you and the Dominatrix who is in our hotel room).

Any of the above can work.  Lucky for us, most of the time it works very well.  My personal/professional opinion is that the first call is kinda-sorta like a "first date."  In fact, in many ways it’s more or less like a BLIND first date.  Unless you’ve emailed back and forth with the PSO previously to that first call, she is actually more blind than you are.  She knows one thing:  You are horny.  You, on the other hand, have most likely perused her website and/or blog.  Until you actually talk, the info you garner is on par with what your friends might tell you about a girl they want to fix you up with:  it’s all second party, with no first-hand experience.

So you just have to take the plunge.  Nobody gets it right — caller or PSO — one hundred percent of the time.  While I have many fans and repeat callers, I also have gentlemen who simply abhor me.  Can you believe it?  Sweet little me?  Well it’s true.  I am human and try hard.  I always give the best that I have.  Unfortunately, sometimes the best that I have is not what a caller is looking for.  And sometimes the best that I have just is not good enough.

The reason I bring this up is that, many times, because of nerves or personal situations or a zillion different other things, that first call might not go right.  It doesn’t hurt to try again.  Yes, I do mean to try again with the very same PSO.  Put yourself in her panties (i mean figuratively, metro sissy!).  You’ve seen her ads, her website, perhaps even read some reviews.  You called her for a reason, so don’t give up so easily.  Maybe the stars were misaligned, maybe her toilet overflowed right before the call, maybe you were so drunk you weren’t making sense.

The best Phone Sex Fantasies I’ve experienced are usually with someone I’ve gotten to know.  We’ve taken some time to figure out exactly who we are together and then met somewhere in the middle re. exactly how we define Phone Sex.  Because, as I said earlier, everyone brings their own expectations to the table.  So getting to know a PSO, taking a chance with more than a few calls, probably isn’t such a bad idea.  Give it a try.

Lastly, let me remind you that I am not an expert on any of this.  I only bring my own experiences to this blog and you.  That’s all I have for you.

Hopefully, it’s enough. 

xo, Angela

So Santa called me up a few days ago and once we got the kink (his favorites being Reindeer Games, Candy Caning and Santa Sissy Panties) out of the way, I asked him what he’d been up to.  “Ho, Ho, Ho,” he said in that booming jolly voice I know so well.

“Well Angela, I finally took your advice this year, and in between checking the Naughty ‘n Nice list, helping Mrs. Claus with the cookie baking, getting the sleigh ready, re-orienting the reindeer, and keeping up with last-minute additions to Wish Lists, I’ve been sneaking off to my den for a cup of hot chocolate and a little bit of the wanky wanky.  You know what I mean, don’t you?”

“You’re talking about doing the gingerbread jerk, right?”  I was pretty sure this is what he meant, as I’d often counseled him during our weekly calls throughout the year that during the month of December–his “crunch time”–it would serve him well to “relieve himself” as much as possible.  I mean every man–even Jolly Old St. Nick–can benefit from pumping the poinsettia when stress levels are high.

“Well, it’s something like that, only better.”

“Now, Santa,” I countered, “what could be better than making your very own batch of creamy Egg Nog?”

I could hear the soft tapping of his gloved fingers on his desk, as if he was pondering what to say next.  I could feel him weighing his words, so as to not say something that might upset or offend me.  And so I nudged a bit more.

“Now, Santa Baby,” I said in my most seductive voice, “you know you can tell me anything.   Don’t you?”

“Er, um…  Ho..ho..”

“Come on, Santa, you can tell Miss Angela.  Or am I going to have to make you get the fruitcake?”

“Holy Christmas Tree!  Not the fruitcake!  It took three elves to get that out of my bottom last year!  You’re right.  I’ve been making Egg Nog.  And I do mean a lot of Egg Nog.  Last night, I squirted so high that a big glob of it actually hit the Mistletoe the elves had hung the day before and knocked it into the fireplace.  Now let me tell you, that was a hard one to explain to Mrs. Claus.  The thing is, I’ve had some help.”

“What do you mean, you’ve had some help?”

“Well, I’ve been calling other girls.  You haven’t been around much, you know?  And I needed a break.  Everything was piling up. Rudolph’s nose wouldn’t light, Blitzen and Cupid were threatening to strike, we were looking at a shortage of iPhones (and everybody wants one), we ran out of red curling ribbon, the elves misplaced the–”

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was fuming.  “Okay, you were having problems.  I get that.  But you cheated on me?  You cheated on your favorite phone sex operator?”   I was half-tempted to hang-up on Santa right then and there, but I couldn’t.  I had to know who these girls were.  And so I asked him point blank, “Who were they?  Who were these women who helped you do the Kris Kringle Jingle?”

“Well it all started with Secondhand Rose.  I know she’s a friend of yours and noticed that she is running a Christmas Phone Sex Special.  You know she usually charges 2.19, but for the holidays she’s lowered her rates to $1.59.  Like I said, you weren’t around, so I gave her a try.  And, Angela, she is really good at this.  Really good!  So I’ve called her probably six or seven times now.  Please don’t be mad.  She not only can do what you do, but she is very good at GFE calls, which you refuse to do with me.”

Hearing that, I wasn’t so mad anymore.  Secondhand Rose would treat my Santa Claus very well.  So if he was going to cheat, I was glad he was in her very good hands.  And he was right; he didn’t get any of that cuddly Girl Friend Experience with me.  At least Rose could satisfy that itch for him.  But I wasn’t done.  He said he’d talked to more than one girl.

“Who else.”  I said it more sternly than I meant it, more like an order.  But that was just to get him to spill his bowl-full-of-jelly guts.  And it worked.

“You know for yourself, because we’ve talked about it, that I’ve always wondered what Luscious Lyndee would be like.  She has that cute ass and innocent look.  I think it was the night the elves forgot to put the screws under the legs of the hobby horses.  It was a disaster.  I left them to repair the damage and snuck off to call Lyndee.  Woo Hoo!  You should see what she can do with holly and berries.  And she’s very good at tinsel bondage.”

Obviously, Santa had talked to Lyndee on more that one occasion.  But she’s a buddy, so, again, I wasn’t very upset.  I mean, I’d never thought to tie him up in tinsel.  Gotta give the girl credit for that.

“Anybody else?”

“Angela,” Santa said, “I admit it.  I’ve been a very bad boy.  In fact, my very own name might be on my very own Naughty ‘n Nice list by now.  I’ve talked to quite a few girls.  Why don’t I just tell you a little bit about them?’

“That’s a good idea,” I answered, no longer angry, just curious.  I was actually kinda-sorta glad Santa was finally learning to let down his white hair and have a good time.  He did have the most important and stressful job in the entire universe.  “Go for it.”

“Well, I have been calling Isabel Blyss quite a bit.  She has the sexiest voice.  And she is quite original and very worldly.   She told me I needed to expand my horizons–that being Santa Claus was no excuse for insensitivity to other cultural traditions.  Then she made me put a dreidel (a rather large dreidel, I must say) you-know-where.”

“Then there’s Mistress V.  Now she is hot!  There is something about her that just makes Santa want to drop to his knees and bark like a dog.  And it’s a good thing, too.  Because she made me do that and a whole lot more.  Did you know that there is a certain piece of sleigh tubing that can double as an enema hose?  Mistress V sure does know it.  And she’s threating to have Barney the Elf bugger me the next time I call.  And Barney might be small in stature, but that’s the only thing small about him.  If you get my drift.”

“And I just had to call–”

“Okay, Santa, that’s enough!”

“You’re not mad at me are you?”

Of course I wasn’t angry.  It’s just that I had a feeling his list of PSOs might go on for hours.  So I assured him that I wasn’t mad in the least; and that if I had to pick girls for him to call, these would have been some of my top choices.  Then I teased him, “But I always knew you had good taste, Santa Claus.  After all, you’ve been calling me for the last three years, haven’t you?”

“Ho, ho, ho!  You’re absolutely right, little girl.  So why don’t you sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas while I tell you about all the rest of the girls I’ve been talking with.”

“Not tonight, Santa,” I answered, “I have a headache.  But call me soon, because I really do want to hear all about it.  And I have a new game for us to play.  It’s called the Nutcracker  Sweet.  Okay?”

“Sure thing, my sweet little Sugar Plum.”

“Oh, and listen here, you fat little bastard, you better leave me a five star review.”

Believe it or not, many women aspire to try the Phone Sex thing. I know because I get tons of email asking for guidance, suggestions and/or linkage. It is impossible to answer everybody. I try when I can, but usually I'm just too busy doing way too much to get to them all. So I thought I'd take some time to address some of these issues today.  

PLEASE NOTE:  These are only my opinions, but they are based on my personal experience and ethics. Hopefully my callers, my readers, fellow PSOs and aspiring PSOs will find it at least interesting, perhaps enlightening and maybe even instructive.

Yes, it's easy to get going. Just pop sex jobs or phone sex jobs or phone sex into your search engine and you are on your way. Many phone sex sites have an application page readily handy. I am not going to go through all of the possibilities that are available to the beginner. Doxy, of the Phone Slut Diary, provides excellent information for both callers and providers regarding your choices and what to expect.

Like Doxy, I am an independent, working for myself. This is my business which, unlike Doxy, I operate through the NiteFlirt platform. Yes, my business is very successful and I'm able to support myself quite comfortably. That said, if you are new to the industry, I highly recommend working for a service before making the leap to business owner.

Why? Because good phone sex is about more than moaning and groaning and bragging about how hot you are. If you work for a company–maybe even two or three–before spreading your entrepreneurial wings, you will get the experience you need to create a phone sex business that can stand up to the competition. And believe me, there is a lot of competition.

Plus there are many different types of phone sex. Working for a service, particularly one which takes any request (shemale, MILF, incest, mistress, cross-dressing, submissive, bestiality, hermaphrodite, golden showers, etc.), is the best way to hone your craft. You will get invaluable lessons in human relations and sexuality, and even marketing and customer service. You will also learn what phone sex niche best suits your personality and ability.

And working for a number of services will give you exposure to various business paradigms.  Then when you start shifting from worker bee to queen bee, you will have an very good idea as to how you want to run your business.

In the meantime, while you are in the learning stages and even when you're "in the biz," the internet can be your best friend. The information you can garner is invaluable, bountiful and free. Spend your time wisely by checking out the competition, noting what they charge, what they offer, and what makes them stand out. Research fetish terms and types of kink. Read the plethora of free erotic stories that are available everywhere and anywhere.

And remember that even when you are working for a company, you are still in the driver's seat. It is up to you to provide something of value and build up your own customer base. As I kinda-sorta said earlier, everybody and their mother wants to be a Phone Sex Superstar these days. Which means the caller has innumerable choices. How can you provide an experience which makes him remember you and want to call again?

Personally, I think it's imperative to value and respect the caller and his particular brand of kink. It's all about you and your professional integrity. Never judge a man by his fantasy. While you might not be able to fulfill a certain request due to TOS (terms of service) issues, lack of knowledge, understanding and/or ability, that doesn't mean that the caller is a degenerate.

Even when you are new and just testing the waters (very scary…I still remember every moment of the first call I ever took), your ability to treat the caller like a valued customer will go a long way in making up for lack of experience. It's a very easy concept: treat the caller the way you like to be treated when you are doing business with someone. And quite frankly, if you can't or refuse to do that, he will most likely move on to find someone who can. Repeat business is what will build your client base.

I often get age play or bestiality requests. The TOS under which I operate do not permit this type of call. I don't agree with that policy, but I have to follow it. But I don't automatically assume the caller is a perverted monster. From experience, I know that 99 percent of these guys are harmless and living very normal–and sometimes even stellar–everyday lives. And so I tell them that–with much regret on my part and no disrespect to them–I cannot fulfill their particular request. Most of the time, if you are nice, the caller will be nice.

A while back, a regular caller told me that the reason he kept calling back was that he was tired of rude "FemDoms" who didn't even listen to what he wanted, just going off on their own tangents. Which highlights two things worth mentioning here.

1. Specializing in FemDom, BDSM or even Erotic Humiliation does not justify a lack of manners on the part of the provider. Rudeness is not domination, it is crudeness. And actually reflects a lack of superiority, sophistication and talent.
2. Listening well is the ultimate secret weapon if you want to be a successful PSO. There is a Chinese proverb which goes like this: To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. Don't underestimate the importance of listening. Because if you do, there is no possible way to attain success. It's the caller's fantasy, not yours. If you insist on it being about you, you will end up with a phone that never rings.

A topic hotly debated in PSO forums and communities is the matter of pricing. Of course, if you are working for a service, they set the price. The company I got started with charged $75/half hour, with that being the minimum. Our customer base was comprised of smart and successful men. I got spoiled by the best, and now market to attract those callers. I like them a lot. And they seem to like me.

But when I first went out on my own, I couldn't remain competitive in my environment at the price I thought I was worth. I had to work my way up, so to speak. The buyer wants to know you're "worth it." And can you blame him? Before you set your price, it is a good idea to look at other providers offering similar services. And if you have no history of doing business to offer up as proof of your expertise, then set your prices a bit lower than those girls. Give the caller a reason to try out the new girl on the block. As you gain professional recognition and a following, you can then begin to raise your prices.

Lastly, a word about wish lists and tips. While most girls–many of my good friends, in fact–these days have wish lists, I opt not to. Why? Because, quite honestly, I want to be valued and paid well for what I do. In other words, SHOW ME THE MONEY. My job is to get the caller off and do it with (hopefully) a whole bunch of panache. Pay me well for my talent, thank you very much. And I don't want the caller to feel obligated or bamboozled by a not-so-subtle hint to buy me something.

Tips are okay, if they come in on their own. Again, I don't expect tips (AKA tributes), nor do I ask for them. Often guys surprise me, which just tickles me pink. This is all rather new, this "gimme, gimme, gimme" attitude on the part of phone sex providers. Unfortunately, I think many girls get into the industry with no thought about providing a quality and professional service. Instead their focus is how much they can get while basically doing nothing to earn or deserve it. Anyway, it's your call. Just think seriously about the ramifications to you and your business.

So, did you learn something? Or did I piss you off?

With Much Affection, Angela