Yes, me loves & beauties & most-appreciated perverts, I took a little break.  What can I say? How do I defend myself against the surly comments, accusatory emails and self-righteous pouts?  How dare I?  Why would I? Enuff’s ennuf, already!  O Dear Beloved Mistress of mine, with much respect: Get your ass back to this blog — front and center, goddamnit, right where you fucking belong!

Let me be the first to say that there’s absolutley no defense for my abhorrent and rather lengthy neglect of this blog.  On the other hand, there’s also no remorse on my part.   I needed a  break.  I’d go so far as to say this breather, this intermission, this time out, was even very well earned.  Lengthy explanations would be tedious both for you and myself.  Let’s just say that if you know me well … you know why.

So what did I do?  Just where in the hell was I?  Okay, darlings.  Just remember you asked for it.

First of all, I wasn’t really G O N E entirely (at least some of the time) while I wasn’t posting to Zen Fetish.  I was taking calls (which is, after all, my main gig) — even for some seemingly interminable blocks of times here and there, now and again.  You just had to catch me at the right time.  And many of you did.  Just LOOK RIGHT HERE if you simply must have some verifiable, hard evidence.  Although,  by now you should trust enough to know that I only lie to you when I’m talking dirty. *wink*  The point being, silly boy, that if you really wanted to find me, you surely could have.

Anyway ….

I didn’t plan for a FemDom sabbatical.  Wasn’t penciled in on my calendar anywhere.  It just kinda-sorta happened.  And it kinda-sorta felt right.  And — as you surely know by now — I’m pretty much a girl who goes by the seat of her panties,

It all started when Bethany came to visit.  We had a lovely week, lots of girly-sibling time, lots of family time, lots of hugs and laughs and lots of tourist-y adventures.  But a week — when it’s only once or twice a year for sisters — is hardly ever enough dontcha know?  And so, after much pleading and begging and sweet-talking on Bethany’s part, I caved.  I threw doubt and caution into the wind and, before you know it, I was off on a two week adventure — a week in Cincinnati with my sister,  and then another week of traipsing around my home turf.  Bethany accompanied me back home too, so you might say we were a very bad influence on each other.  We were irresponsible adults having the time of our lives.  You should try it sometime because it was FUCKING AWESOME!

I won’t bore you with the details of shopping trips, dinners, spas, etc. etc.  I won’t tell you about the two encounters I had with two very ex-boyfriends who were wishing they weren’t so "ex" and probably thinking, if I’d only behaved better!  I won’t even entertain you with JewBoy’s petulant sputtering and impotent tantrum (when will he ever learn?) upon my return.  How dare I not tell this some-time companion who fancies himself my beau that I was going to be away? Huh? What? Me thinks JewBoy could use a savvy lesson or two from a few of my more obsequious callers in the practice of proper servility and appropriate expectation.

But I will tell you four things I learned while gone:

1. Thomas Wolfe was wrong; you CAN go home again.  You just can’t stay that long.
2.  When you suspect  that the woman effervescently showing off her Thomas Kinkaid collection just might be a few clowns short of a circus?  You’re absolutely correct.
3. Regardless of where you are, Chinese delivery always comes in a brown, paper bag with a menu stapled to it.  I’m serious.  Think about it.
4. A girl can purchase twice as many pairs of shoes when spending her money in close vicinity to an eroded Paleozoic land mass.

So, yeah, I  know.  That three weeks of R & R does not quite account for my protracted spate of none-blogging.   What was it?  Two months?  Maybe more, give or take a few days or a week? *sheepish grin*  But, as I’ve noted above, I WAS around.  I just wasn’t blogging.  So sue me, spank me, tell me I’m a heartless bitch.  But you know you still love me.  Go ahead, admit it. *batting eyelashes*

Truthfully and all kidding aside, I just needed a break.  I needed breathing room.  I needed to unplug and smell the roses. I wanted to read, watch a few documentaries, visit with my mother, connect with some friends.  I wanted and needed some technology-free moments.  I barely tweeted (check it out for yourself) and right now I’m sitting on over 1,500 unopened emails.

Don’t be mad at me, because, honestly, the business of FemDom PhoneSex is a taxing one.  If you are doing it righteously and honestly, it is demanding and draining.  And I’ve been doing it for a while now.  Only FemDom’s bleed, dontcha know?  But the good news, the great news, the wonderful news is that:  what’s good for me will definitely be good for you.

I’m back. I’m plugged in. 

And I’ve missed you.  Really

xo, Angela

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

An Irish toast: May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

Dirty Irish Limericks

A dentist, young Doctor Malone,
Got a charming girl patient alone,
And in his depravity
He filled the wrong cavity
And my how his practice has grown 

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who took a pig in a thicket to fuck it.
The pig said with a sneer,
Stay away from my rear.
Come around to the front and I’ll suck it. 

There was a young lady named Flo,
Was approached by a dwarf for a blow.
In disgust she replied,
Your request is denied.
I don’t think I could stoop quite that low.

~~~~

Irish Blessing to you and yours:  Video

xo, Angela

As you probably noticed, there wasn’t a lot of Christmas nor New Year’s  Hoopla here at  Zen this year.  Well, things just didn’t pan out quite as I had planned.  Nonetheless,  I  will remember the past holiday as a bittersweet one, not without its blessings, and certainly one of learning lessons. 

Someone close to me experienced an incredible loss and, because I care about this person, my heart ached (and is still aching) for her.  Except for Christmas Day, spent with my mother and family, I was about the business of giving what little help and comfort I could to my friend.  Which is exactly and rightly what I should have been doing.  But that is more about my private life and — if you don’t mind — we’ll just leave it there.

All I really want you to know is that I truly did learn a lot — mostly lessons of love and about doing the right thing.  Which means I’ve changed in very grown-up ways and am a much better, much fuller human being moving into the New Year.  And I have a heart full of gratitude.  It’s a lovely way to fill a heart, don’t you think?

So … because December’s end and January’s beginning were so topsy-turvy, I didn’t work very much, got backed up on email and just generally put this part of my world kinda-sorta on hold.  I was around — here and there – briefly and fleetingly.  It was a "catch-me-if-you-can" situation.  Some of you did, indeed,  catch me.  How does that work when I’m up to my eyes in personal turmoil and you’re calling for a nasty round of Fetish Phone Sex?

Well, if you were an established client with whom I’ve built a rapport, I probably gave you a brief peek into what was going on this side of the Phone Sex Curtain.  You deserved that honesty from me. 

Then again, if you were a first time caller, I was my professional self doing what needed to be done in my very particular way … focused on you and your needs, astute attention to detail, aiming for a slam-bang finish.  You didn’t need to know that my heart was bleeding. And so … I kept that from you.  As I should have.

Back in the saddle this past week, I’m pretty sure I succeeded, as quite a few of you new fellas have called me back, some even taking the time to leave awesome feedback and recommend me to others.  I am truly grateful and did follow up with Thank You emails.

But there’s always the exception, isn’t there?  Because, during that time,  I did have a new caller leave me a one star review (ouch) saying: "Not my cup of tea at all! I have to wonder if these positive feedbacks are from friends or something?"  Maybe I was seriously off that day, because I’m certainly not perfect — not by any stretch of anyone’s imagination.  Or maybe I had one of my visceral, gut reactions (rare, but they do happen) to the guy’s seriously bad vibes and was just going through the motions. 

I really don’t know, because — according to my records — the gentleman spent all of two minutes with me.  If you do ever find your way to my blog, Mr. X — this is assuming, of course, that you ever actually read — I am curious:  Do you think a sexual encounter takes two minutes?  Is that how you fuck?  I have, of course, blocked your from further contact.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.

New Year’s Eve I actually worked, which is rare, because I don’t do too many holidays.  But it had been a good experience last year and I absolutely abhor going out into the  mayhem … so I figured, why not.  Plus I’d finally stopped by my P.O. Box to pick up what I believed would be a few Christmas presents the previous day.  What were you guys thinking?  It took me three trips to get all those packages into my house!

So I opened a bottle of bubbly and sat in front of my fireplace unwrapping presents and taking calls.  Oh, and getting a little bit tipsy.  It was divine and I am forever grateful. And if you hear me saying I bought a new book or new books (which is usually the case … who can resist when your at the center of pile upon pile of tomes?) this entire year?  Put me over your lap, pull down my panties and spank my little FemDom tush.  You gifted me so many awesome books that I have plenty to last, maybe even until 2011. Seriously.

Anyway … here we are twelve days into the new year.  I worked my ass of this pass week, taking calls from (almost) dusk to (almost) dawn.  Regular life is back in its place and I’m glad it is.  Of course we do have Valentine’s Day looming. 

And in between here and there?  I’ve had more than a few delightfully wicked calls, which we will keep a secret between you and me.   And — when I finally settled down to catch up email — found your always-attentive and appreciative missives:  

A Christmas Quickie from faithful and dependable Mr. D (he keeps me in headsets for my phone) : 

Merry Christmas, precious Angela! Hope you are happy and  … maybe shopping … maybe for shoes…. maybe with someone else’s money! Know I am thinking about you and wish you a joyful Holiday Season.  Lotsa Luv!

A Happy New Year from Mr. B (who calls even when on a budget):

I hope you are well and having a wonderful holiday season.

I want you to know how much I appreciate you. You are a real woman who does not hide behind your job.  While you have to be guarded in your business you have been so nice to me and it has meant a WHOLE LOT!  Thank You! 

You are so real and so honest it is that "human touch" which makes you so much more special.  Whether you are a seductress, a "hottie," an author, a thinker, one of the socially conscious, a promoter of not only yourself, but even of your competition, a partial/almost fiancee, or a positive force in JewBoy’s life, (my life and the lives of so many others) … you are, above all else, a decent woman and, for that, I am filled with affection and gratitude.

You are special: and I wish You an appropriately SPECIAL 2010.

Much love and best regards

And  — wouldn’t you know it — a review of AVATAR from PQS (Zen’s very own and precious Pervert Savant):

There are lots of nice special effects but the plot of the thing is really simple.  The overall effect is sort of like seeing “Dances With Wolves” in a video game format.  Worth seeing for the mechanics chanics of it all (You get to wear wowie 3-D glasses!)  But overall, the whole thing left me wondering why they couldn’t have put more of the $350 Million it cost to make and promote into something as basic as screenwriting.  

The dialog is tired, the plot is extremely predictable, and lots of it seemed purloined from other blockbuster sci-fi pics of the recent past.  Sigourney Weaver even gets pulled out of Alien to do a very lame role as a “scientist/anthropologist”.  They also borrowed freely from her earlier “man in mechanical moving machine fights alien” to do an “alien fights man in mechanical moving machine” scene.  The noble aliens of Avatar take on corporate driven evil Earthlings with…what else…bows and arrows!  Jeez…the more I write about this, the worse it seems. 

So, all in all, yeah … I think it’s going to be a very good year and an absolutely wonderful Valentine’s Day.

xo, Angela

♦~~~~~~♦

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