…doesn’t mean you should.

What started me thinking about this was a woman in Starbucks. Quite lovely, well-dressed, great legs in obviously expensive stockings, she was standing beside me as we waited to order our lattes. But her eyeliner! Quite honestly, it ruined all the other finery she’d so carefully put together in an attempt look her very best.

She’d applied it–thick charcoal black–from the inner corners to the outer corners of her eyes. I think you can picture it and easily imagine the impression this make-up faux pa presented.

Less is more is usually a good rule of thumb to follow in most circumstances and particularly applicable when enhancing our feminity, whether it be with perfume, makeup, jewelry, or whatever other means we utilize. Outside of fetish parties, dungeons and hyper-sexual play, understatement and subtlety are usually much sexier and alluring than their reverse.

Some might say that painting oneself up like a Jackson Pollock canvas is downright tacky. Some might say that the propensity to “overdo” oneself reflects a lack of confidence. Dare I say I might agree?

***

I just finished reading Gilead by Marilynne Robinson and found myself thinking along these same lines–sort of a “grace of restraint”–when reflecting upon the quiet wisdom revealed through the plain voice of the novel’s narrator, John Ames. Repeatedly, despite opportunity and invitation, he chooses not to do things he could easily and righteously do. The simple goodness in that just amazes me. (If you are interested in more about this book, which did win a Pulitzer, check out the New York Times review by James Wood.)

Being still, choosing not to act, is not as easy as it sounds–at least not for me. I tend to be a Type A person by nature, a workaholic by design, and a Leo (the good, bad, and the ugly) by birth. But I try. Sometimes I get it right; sometimes I fail extravagantly. For example, I pretty much have a handle on not gossiping. In other words, just because I can say something, doesn’t mean I should. But when it comes to listening to gossip, I must confess, I’m all ears. So, shame on me. And now that I’ve admitted that in writing, I guess it’s time to start really working on it.

On that note, just because I can keep writing, doesn’t mean I should! So it’s off to bed for me.

These were sent to me by a dear friend.

I was reminded of what Mary McCarthy said about Lillian Hellman, that “…every word she writes is a lie, including ‘an’ and ‘the’.” (Which, by the way, I know a guy that was actually sitting in the audience of the Dick Cavett show when she said that.)

My favorite is the double entendre by Billy Wilder: Short, tart and oh-so-witty.

Anyway, enjoy….

I feel so miserable without you: it’s almost like having you here. (Stephen Bishop)

A modest little person, with much to be modest about. (Winston Churchill — about Clement Atlee)

I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial. (Irvin S. Cobb)

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. (Clarence Darrow)

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. (William Faulkner — about Ernest Hemingway)

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. (Samuel Johnson)

He had delusions of adequacy. (Walter Kerr)

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. (Thomas Brackett Reed)

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. (Forrest Tucker)

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. (Mark Twain)

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. (Mae West)

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. (Oscar Wilde)

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. (Oscar Wilde)

He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. (Billy Wilder)

I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous. (Sam Spade)

So what do ya think? Is she HOT or what???

If you have a thing for pretty girls in naughty lingerie smoking up a sexy little storm, be sure to check out Alta Smoking, another fabulous site from Vegas Jay, my favorite Internet bad boy. The site is a veritable smorgasbord of lipsticked hotties blowing smoke and strutting their stuff.

A thirty day membership is only 19.95, billed via CCBill. As always, Jay provides you with a generous helping of preview pictures and has even included a free video clip. What a guy!

I first met Jay when I interviewed him and reviewed another of his websites, Alta Heels for Sex Kitten. Since then, I’ve been a fan. He’s a savvy business man, committed to offering topnotch, exclusive images for his members. He also happens to be a very nice guy.

So tip-toe, skip, slither, glide, or dance on over there….and tell him Angie said hello.

Don’t tell me too much.  I want to worship you.   ~Elias Conetti

I talk, write, and dally in smutty things on a more-or-less daily basis. Strap-ons, golden showers, castration, forced homosexuality, prostate milking, incest, ass worship, nasty neighbors, orgasm denial and domestic discipline are but a few of the fantasies that cross my path, desk, mind, and phone lines. When it comes to our minds and the stuff that trips our switches, only God knows why the switches are so wacky and unpredictable. And I suspect it is God who is having the eternal and omnipotent last laugh.

… on all of us.

So why can’t we develop a sense of humor about all this and get things in their proper perspective?

Yes: The girl who has no problem bending you over for a sperm and urine enema is the same girl who attended a bible study last spring. The girl who ties you up and tortures your testicles while her friends gleefully watch does happen to pray on a semi-regular basis. The girl who fucks the bartender and makes you clean up his mess from you-know-where believes in karma, the golden rule, and spiritual responsibility.

The point being that both of these girls — who you (hopefully) love and adore — are one and the same. Namely, moi!

Maybe we can blame it on the Madonna-Whore Complex. Regardless, men (and even women, for that matter) can’t get their heads around the fact that there is room for all of this and more inside each and every one of us. Sexual kink and personal morality constitute what is possibly one of the great dichotomies of human existence.

Both complex and simple in its structure and implications, it is the stuff of philosophy, mythology, sociology, and theology.

Quit worrying about your dick and exercise you mind. Quit fretting about your freaky fetishes and stretch your heart.

The life of the mind and/or the imagination exists on a different plane and thereby plays by different cosmic rules than the ones we play by in our day-to-day lives.

In fact, maybe we should quit worrying about the rules so much. I’m pretty sure all of this can pretty much take care of itself. Aren’t you?

The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd ~Sir Walter Ralegh

If all the world and love were young, And truth in every shepherd’s tongue, These pretty pleasures might me move To live with thee and be thy love.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold, When rivers rage and rocks grow cold And Philomel becometh dumb; The rest complains of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields To wayward winter reckoning yields A honey tongue, a heart of gall, Is fancy’s spring, but sorrow’s fall.

Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses, Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten, In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds, Thy coral clasps and amber studs, All these in me no means can move To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed, Had joys no date nor age no need, Then these delights my mind might move To live with thee and be thy love.