Ok, I will just go ahead and admit it! I have a thing for panty boys. But if you haven’t feasted your eyes upon the sight of a rock-hard eight-incher pressing against its Mistress-imposed satin prison, well, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

The first time a caller told me that he was wearing panties, I just about fell out of my chair. Eighteen years old and only slightly beyond virginity, I was new to the biz and quite naive. Not to mention the parochial education that had kept me running to confession every week, seeking redemption for my own guilty pleasures. (That is until I heard heavy breathing on the other side of the confessional after admitting to letting a boy touch my breasts.)

Then one night Theodore called.

I’m not going to dish on the nature of his fetishes and fantasies, because that’s not what I do. If you are looking for a prurient peek into the underbelly of phonesex, you won’t find it here.

What I will tell you about Theodore is that he was an honorable man. He touched my heart and opened my mind, and I will always be grateful for both. Although I haven’t spoken with Theodore since I graduated from college, there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t think about him. In fact, if you visited my bedroom (dream on!), you would find a picture of Theodore dressed up in his sheer black lingerie on my bed stand…right next to a picture of my nephew and under the rosaries that hang from the lamp shade.

Not only was Theodore a man of honor, he was a good father, a hard worker, and possessed a generous spirit. A single parent to boys that had been abandoned by their mother, he spent many hours discussing with me his struggles, frustrations, dreams and triumphs as a parent. In between the creative kink and taboo naughtiness (of which there was plenty), I learned about the man behind the fetish.

It was kismet: Theodore became my friend and I became his teenage Mistress. And I can assure you, beloved ZenReader, that a very good time was had by all! I hope he thinks about me, too, once in a while. It would be my honor.

So what is it about panties and men? Why is it such a turn-on for so many? A person could spend a lifetime attempting to answer these types of questions, so let’s just leave the heavy thinking to the experts, of which I am not.

But the good news is that I happen to be quite the sexpert! So I will give you my two cents on sissification, cross-dressing, and sundries. Among other things:

1. For many cross-dressers, emasculation feels good because it is tiresome and demanding to be a big, hard-ass guy all the time.
2. Many submissives find that being forced to wear feminine clothing and do female-type things, reinforces their subordinate status in the power exchange.
3. The breaking of societal taboos heightens sexual arousal for most healthy human beings. Being feminized is one means to achieving this.
4. Some men adore and love and cherish femininity so much that they want to be a part of it. It is almost their prayer, their ode, their opus to womanhood.
5. Hey, I love being a girl! Why shouldn’t they?

I’ve come a long way in the few years since Theodore and I followed our separate paths. Sometimes I think that he would be the one just about falling out of the chair if he knew how deviously devilish I’ve become. But I think he might be a little proud, too.

I mean, after all, he started it!

Justice Howard and John Gilmore, are collaborating to present SHARP EDGES, a benefit gallery show with proceeds going to Children of the Night, on the evening of May 20, in downtown Los Angeles. For information, call 213-550-7335.

According to the email I received from Justice, there will be no door charge–but donations are expected. She also included this little tidbit:

“Sharp Edges is a show that is not for the sensitive of spirit nor the faint of heart. It is progressive erotic imagery by internationally renowned photographer Justice Howard, plus dark & edgy wordage by writer John Gilmore who has over 10 books to his credit. The best known are “Severed: Story of the Black Dahlia” and “Live Fast Die Young, the story of James Dean”. Scorchy & Torchy images by Justice Howard will feature pinup legend Mamie Van Doren in a glamorous murder scene ritual, as well as photos of Dave Navarro, Xene Cervenka, and UFC fighting champion Kimo Leopoldo. A recreation of the famous Black Dahlia murder scene will be exhibited as well as many other surprises. Custom knives created especially for this event by House of Steel.“

Now if that doesn’t sound like fun, I don’t know what does. Charity doesn’t begin at home, it begins in our hearts. So give…and give often. Because if you don’t, like John Lennon said, “Instant Karma is going to get you.”

Hmmm…I wonder if my friend, Isabella, will be there.

Thanks to Mike (You do have a thing for heated bottoms, precious Dahlink!), I found a sweet French spanking site, Discipline Domestique. (If you’ve not yet caught the spanking kinkbug, try pronouncing Discipline Domestique with a French accent…you just might find yourself running out to buy a paddle!)

The site is a veritable cookie jar stuffed with goodies–including articles, stories, a forum, a list of free spanking-related sites and much more. My favorite is the cinema section (see Media in the left menu), which includes little video clips of spanking scenes in mainstream movies. Be sure to check out The Halfway House; nothing like watching a frenzied priest rouging up the taut, little tushies of wayward Catholic school girls! It’s enough to make you blush….I mean on your other cheeks, silly rabbit!

(On a side note, while you’re there, take a gander at The Fearless Vampire Killers [They’ve jumbled the words in translation, but don’t mind that.], a Roman Polanski film that should be in every film-lover’s DVD collection. A highly stylized retelling of the vampire legend and starring Sharon Tate, it’s a keeper.)

What were we tallking about? Oh, yes! Discipline Domestique….how could I forget? The link above will take you to this fab site ASAP, but it will be in French, because it is, of course, a French website. Duh! If you want to read the English language version, google it, then translate it. If you want to access the movies and inside links, you have to be in the French version of the site. I just kind of toggled back and forth. And if I can do it, anybody can do it!

Because I need to always remember it: FROG

And….Thank you, each and every one:

***Derek: Because you did it and I love it!

***Mistress V: Because you believe in me.

***Gracie: Because you gave me a chance.

***Doxy: Because your friendship honors me.

***David: Because you know my heart.

***Toby: Because you make my world a safer place.

***Dennis: Because I count on your unconditional affection.

***Mother: Because you are the orginal FemDomme!